Financial Support for DV Victims?

H

hammishsqueak

We're all mad here.
Hey guys. This isn't the "feel good" thread of the day, but I'm hoping someone out there can help out!

My boyfriend's friend and I were chatting today and she mentioned how her fiancé had just been thrown in jail the other night for domestic violence. Long story short, he has been abusive towards her for quite some time now. While visiting I’ve witnessed his explosive temper and abusive behavior towards animals. Well, finally cops caught him and he's sitting in jail (bail has not been posted yet). Now, I don't want to have this S.O.B taken out of jail, I want help for HER and her BABY.

She is financially dependent on this "man". Her biggest fear next to her and her child's safety is being able to continue to put food on the table while her fiancé is in jail. So, my question is, are there any programs for victims of domestic violence who are financially dependent on their abusers? Programs that may provide food, low interest loans, etc? Her baby is only four months old (yes, it is the abuser's....) and a cute lil guy! I worry about him a lot and wish there was more I could do for her and her baby myself...

The couple live in Florida, but I figure some forum dweller may know of some national programs! ^_^
 
TexasSunflower

TexasSunflower

Support Our Troops!
hammishsqueak said:
Hey guys. This isn't the "feel good" thread of the day, but I'm hoping someone out there can help out!

My boyfriend's friend and I were chatting today and she mentioned how her fiancé had just been thrown in jail the other night for domestic violence. Long story short, he has been abusive towards her for quite some time now. While visiting I’ve witnessed his explosive temper and abusive behavior towards animals. Well, finally cops caught him and he's sitting in jail (bail has not been posted yet). Now, I don't want to have this S.O.B taken out of jail, I want help for HER and her BABY.

She is financially dependent on this "man". Her biggest fear next to her and her child's safety is being able to continue to put food on the table while her fiancé is in jail. So, my question is, are there any programs for victims of domestic violence who are financially dependent on their abusers? Programs that may provide food, low interest loans, etc? Her baby is only four months old (yes, it is the abuser's....) and a cute lil guy! I worry about him a lot and wish there was more I could do for her and her baby myself...

The couple live in Florida, but I figure some forum dweller may know of some national programs! ^_^
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Wow! Sorry to here about your friend! But she should be able to contact the police department and they should be able to point her in the right direction. I know there are several different programs out there for domestic violence victims. Good luck!
 
Beelzebaby666

Beelzebaby666

Has confinement issues..
There should be an organization down there who can put the woman and her child in a shelter.

That will be the option they give an abused woman because it offers her protection from the abuser, shelter, stability for the child and the chance for counseling.

I went through this with the psycho, and was told again and again that the shelter would be her only real help. Of course, she had lied about the abuse, just like she lied about the rape and everything else, so when she couldn't get cash, a house, and a car out of it, she recanted and went home to the boyfriend:rolleyes:
 
meangirl

meangirl

Nice lady!
Beelzebaby666 said:
There should be an organization down there who can put the woman and her child in a shelter.

That will be the option they give an abused woman because it offers her protection from the abuser, shelter, stability for the child and the chance for counseling.

I went through this with the psycho, and was told again and again that the shelter would be her only real help. Of course, she had lied about the abuse, just like she lied about the rape and everything else, so when she couldn't get cash, a house, and a car out of it, she recanted and went home to the boyfriend:rolleyes:
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UFB! Women like that make me sick. :ohwell:
 
A

aosmiles

New Member
Unless you have lived this kind of life and understand the method of an abuser, you really have no idea what all this means. You have to understand the cycle of violence, the mindset of the victims and so on. On average abused women leave and return to the abuser 7 times before they leave for good. Many women don't stay gone because they don't think they can, they are dependent on the abuser, and he has got her mind so twisted that she doesn't know which way is up. Sorry that I am on a soapbox-but this is one topic that I know a lot about.
 
Beelzebaby666

Beelzebaby666

Has confinement issues..
Yes, but we were talking about a chronic liar and fruit cake and a woman who needs help getting by because her abuser is in jail. Now, whether she chooses to go back to him when he gets out is entirely up to her. Stupid, but up to her.

Your post was directed at which woman? :confused: Because it doesn't really apply to either case.
 
Beelzebaby666

Beelzebaby666

Has confinement issues..
Dougstermd said:
Wow grouchy much. i got some chocolate:smoochy:
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Not grouchy, and I'm having my fix as we speak:neener:

They just got on a soap box and it didn't make any sense to me when we were talking about something other than a real victim and how hard it is to make the break from an abusive relationship.

Unless aosmiles knows one of the people we are talking about:shrug:

Wait, hold on a minute...


:banghead:


:cheers:


:otter:
 
Dougstermd

Dougstermd

ORGASM DONOR
Beelzebaby666 said:
Not grouchy, and I'm having my fix as we speak:neener:

They just got on a soap box and it didn't make any sense to me when we were talking about something other than a real victim and how hard it is to make the break from an abusive relationship.

Unless aosmiles knows one of the people we are talking about:shrug:

Wait, hold on a minute...


:banghead:


:cheers:


:otter:
Click to expand...



:lmao:
:smoochy:
 
W

wkndbeacher

Guest
hammishsqueak said:
Hey guys. This isn't the "feel good" thread of the day, but I'm hoping someone out there can help out!

My boyfriend's friend and I were chatting today and she mentioned how her fiancé had just been thrown in jail the other night for domestic violence. Long story short, he has been abusive towards her for quite some time now. While visiting I’ve witnessed his explosive temper and abusive behavior towards animals. Well, finally cops caught him and he's sitting in jail (bail has not been posted yet). Now, I don't want to have this S.O.B taken out of jail, I want help for HER and her BABY.

She is financially dependent on this "man". Her biggest fear next to her and her child's safety is being able to continue to put food on the table while her fiancé is in jail. So, my question is, are there any programs for victims of domestic violence who are financially dependent on their abusers? Programs that may provide food, low interest loans, etc? Her baby is only four months old (yes, it is the abuser's....) and a cute lil guy! I worry about him a lot and wish there was more I could do for her and her baby myself...

The couple live in Florida, but I figure some forum dweller may know of some national programs! ^_^
Click to expand...


I hope when he does get out she doesnt end up falling for the im sorry ill never do it again routine and move on in her life. Does she have family thats near?
 
A

aosmiles

New Member
Get off your high horse. You can't even answer the original poster's question. I sent her a PM to tell her what she could do. Are you the victim of domestic violence? If so, I am sorry. If not, then maybe you need to learn about what you are talking about. "Real" victims need help. Those who lie about abuse-and those who recant even when it is true still need help. I know exactly waht I am talking about. I could give you my credentials, but I suspect you would rather think I am stupid or something. FYI I was addressing the women who are abused-no one in particular. And, even if I did know the victims discussed, I would not discuss them on this forum because of confidentiality and privacy reasons. So, go insult someone else. The poster asked how she could help and you said very little that was helpful to her. That is why most of these threads are jokes because real people ask for help and just get insulted, even in a joking manner, by others who have all the answers. DV is a real problem even when some people are "fuit cakes" and "liars" as you put it.
 
ShyGirl

ShyGirl

Active Member
I just recently did similar research for this area:

I scanned County, State and Federal web pages for social services, women & children services, medical (health), housing (homelessness). I would say, the first step would be to contact social services.

I also looked at things like Catholic Charities, local churches, Salvation Army/Red Cross (though one of those was more focused toward disaster relief), homeless shelters, etc...

I scanned the classified ads for entry-level job opportunities, and less expensive places to rent.

There does seem to be emergency relief assistance out there, but it seems to take a while to put into place.

So it will get worse before it gets better. Tell your friend to keep her chin up, remind her what a strong, capable person she is and try to keep her momentum going... Instead of listening to her complain about the predicament that she is in, put it to her straight, What is it that she CAN do?
This is something that she needs to do herself.

:huggy:
 
godsbutterfly

godsbutterfly

Free to Fly
ShyGirl said:
I just recently did similar research for this area:

I scanned County, State and Federal web pages for social services, women & children services, medical (health), housing (homelessness). I would say, the first step would be to contact social services.

I also looked at things like Catholic Charities, local churches, Salvation Army/Red Cross (though one of those was more focused toward disaster relief), homeless shelters, etc...

I scanned the classified ads for entry-level job opportunities, and less expensive places to rent.

There does seem to be emergency relief assistance out there, but it seems to take a while to put into place.

So it will get worse before it gets better. Tell your friend to keep her chin up, remind her what a strong, capable person she is and try to keep her momentum going... Instead of listening to her complain about the predicament that she is in, put it to her straight, What is it that she CAN do?
This is something that she needs to do herself.

:huggy:
Click to expand...

The hard part will be getting her to believe she can do it herself. One of the biggest problems with DV is that the abused is so emotionally beaten down that they often feel completely helpless and worthless. They don't know how to stand up for themselves. It's almost like teaching a newborn how to walk and talk. If she does press charges there is a group called "Friends of the Court" that operates out of Juvenile & Domestic Court (or at least there is in Virginia) that helps battered women get back on their feet and teaches them how to become self-sufficient. They will even go to court with her. She might want to check into that also.
 
W

wkndbeacher

Guest
godsbutterfly said:
The hard part will be getting her to believe she can do it herself. One of the biggest problems with DV is that the abused is so emotionally beaten down that they often feel completely helpless and worthless. They don't know how to stand up for themselves. It's almost like teaching a newborn how to walk and talk. If she does press charges there is a group called "Friends of the Court" that operates out of Juvenile & Domestic Court (or at least there is in Virginia) that helps battered women get back on their feet and teaches them how to become self-sufficient. They will even go to court with her. She might want to check into that also.
Click to expand...

:yeahthat:
 
ImnoMensa

ImnoMensa

New Member
I thought the place in Hughesville was for abused women?

Doesn't she have a family, a home she left for this turd? Wont they take her back and help her? I know if this were my daughter she could come home with child and this guy wouldn't bother her either unless he had a death wish. The first thing she must do is make a decision that this guy isn't going to change, If she wants him as he is , move back and take the beatings and the abuse. If she decides to move out press charges , get an injunction to keep him away call social services and try to get them to get her a lawyer and unload this idiot she evidently thought enough of to have sex with and bear his child.

I dont make excuses for a wife beater, they are the most useless form of the gender male. However she is in this mess because of bad decisions she made, its time to gather up her life and make the decision to unload this guy or take the beatings. Women like her think things cant get worse, they can, this fool could kill her or her child in a violent stupid rage.

Sooner or later she has to make up her mind, the time is now. There are programs for women like this , use them .
 
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