Halloween Joke thread!

Elle

Happy Camper!
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests,
the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the sh*t out of a ghost."
 

Elle

Happy Camper!
Things about Halloween that sound dirty but are not

10. She's a goblin!

9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack tonight.

8. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

7. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch

6. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

5. Let me see your big sack!

4. Can I eat your Zagnuts?

3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.

2. You scared me stiff!

1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!
 

tlatchaw

Not dead yet.
Little boy arrives at the front door in a pirate costume. Old lady asks what kind of costume he's wearing.

"Arrr, I be a pirate!" he replies.
"If you're a pirate, where are your buckaneers?" she asked.
"They be on me buckin head!"
 

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
Originally posted by vraiblonde
Hi Tonio! :howdy:

Hi there. I haven't been here much because I've had so many things going on this year. New baby, new job, house renovation, Hurricane Isabel overtime, college classes.

Another Halloween joke:

For a costume party, the guests dress up as different emotions. One man shows up completely naked, except for a jar of custard strapped onto his phallus. The host asks, "What emotion are you supposed to be?" The man answers, "I'm f**king disgusted."
 
Top