Friend In Need Is Repaid With...
- Thread starter RoseRed
- Start date
GWguy
*
When I was financially strapped and had been discussing it with a close friend, he offered me money. I looked at him, thanked him, and told him no. He was a very close and dear friend, and loaning money to friends or family is the best way to ruin a relationship, and told him so.
We have never been closer.
The Scrambler
Member
Never lend money unless your in the position to give it without expecting anything in return. Loans only cause problems between friends but giving freely with expecting nothing will safeguard the friendship.
My BFF lent me money years ago when I was in a bind, but I would have never asked her. In fact, she actually gave me the money, but I repaid it, making it a short loan. And I would give her what I could in a second if she needed it.
However, I know someone who has hit up several of their "friends" for "loans" that they have never repaid. And apparently this person is still having hard times and "borrowing" money from anyone who'll give it to him. This is the type of person you don't want to gift money to, because that will cause as hard of feelings as lending it to them and expecting repayment.
However, I know someone who has hit up several of their "friends" for "loans" that they have never repaid. And apparently this person is still having hard times and "borrowing" money from anyone who'll give it to him. This is the type of person you don't want to gift money to, because that will cause as hard of feelings as lending it to them and expecting repayment.
Agee
Well-Known Member
In today's world, it's difficult to ascertain who's in need and who''s on speed...
but reaching out is not out of fashion, been there, done that and rarely got a tee-shirt or a coffee mug! That said, I would not be where I am today without the grattitude, caring and support of some wonderful people!
but reaching out is not out of fashion, been there, done that and rarely got a tee-shirt or a coffee mug! That said, I would not be where I am today without the grattitude, caring and support of some wonderful people!
Beta84
They're out to get us
That's an interesting quandary. Do you warn all of your friends and people they might ask, making sure everyone knows that they're basically stealing money? Or do you try to leave them their dignity and not say anything, but other people become victimized?
Good thread and a good reminder
I could easily have written that letter. 
He is merely someone I know, not a friend. I don't have friends like that. And he hasn't hit up any of my friends - they already know about him. And if I heard of him hitting up someone I know for money, I would warn them. In fact, I warned someone about him this evening.
I don't think there's any dignity in getting taken by a hustler and if I can help prevent it, I will.
Unless it's my mortal enemy - then I watch
and point and laugh when they get taken.
BS Gal
Voted Nicest in 08
He is merely someone I know, not a friend. I don't have friends like that. And he hasn't hit up any of my friends - they already know about him. And if I heard of him hitting up someone I know for money, I would warn them. In fact, I warned someone about him this evening.
I don't think there's any dignity in getting taken by a hustler and if I can help prevent it, I will.
Unless it's my mortal enemy - then I watch
I loaned someone the last $22 I had in purse at work. He never re-paid it nor did he mention it. I warned everyone there and, oops, he had already gotten to most of them, but the ones he didn't were glad I had warned them. It was only $22, but, still....it's the principle of the matter. If he would have just said "i can't repay you and never can" I would have been FINE with that, but he just acted like nothing was ever wrong. Problem is, I really liked him as a friend. I lost all respect.
Beta84
They're out to get us
Baja28
Obama destroyed America
Larry is not going to be happy when he reads this.He is merely someone I know, not a friend. I don't have friends like that. And he hasn't hit up any of my friends - they already know about him. And if I heard of him hitting up someone I know for money, I would warn them. In fact, I warned someone about him this evening.
I don't think there's any dignity in getting taken by a hustler and if I can help prevent it, I will.
Unless it's my mortal enemy - then I watch
ProfMoneyWise
Member
Scenario 1: Grandfather loans money to Grandson to buy a vehicle. On paper the math works in that he is getting a better rate than the savings account and giving Grandson a better rate than he would get from the bank.
Fast forward: Grandson for whatever reason (loss of job, loss of interest, wrecks it, etc) stops making the payments. Grandfather approaches Grandson. Get's blown off and/or played for sympathy. Still no payments. Grandfather approaches Grandson's parents . . . who get mad at son and things escalate from there. You can add may different threads this one could take and none of them are good.
Scenario 2: Dad/Mom decide to loan the kids some money for a down payment. Kids take it, all is well and paying on time. Thanksgiving rolls around and the kids start talking about a cruise they are going on. Mom shoots a sideways glance. Maybe even jokes about the money being owed.
Long story short: The family dynamic has been changed by money. Why do this to you and yours. Oh and the kids . . . immediately took on more jobs, sold stuff, etc, to pay Mom and Dad back. This way Thanksgiving Dinner tastes the way it should in the future.
Scenario 3: Friend/Family turned down by the bank for a loan due to a myriad of reasons, or just one big one, that makes them a high risk lender. That is right. Turned down by the store that sells money. Turned down by the place that will bend over to get a loan in place because this is how they make their money. Even they could not figure out how to take on this risk.
They come to you, you loan the money. What makes you smarter than the bank? The risk never went anywhere.
One cannot borrow their way out of a problem, nor to prosperity. Do not inject money into family or friend relationships. If they need money, and you want them to have it, give it to them.
Fast forward: Grandson for whatever reason (loss of job, loss of interest, wrecks it, etc) stops making the payments. Grandfather approaches Grandson. Get's blown off and/or played for sympathy. Still no payments. Grandfather approaches Grandson's parents . . . who get mad at son and things escalate from there. You can add may different threads this one could take and none of them are good.
Scenario 2: Dad/Mom decide to loan the kids some money for a down payment. Kids take it, all is well and paying on time. Thanksgiving rolls around and the kids start talking about a cruise they are going on. Mom shoots a sideways glance. Maybe even jokes about the money being owed.
Long story short: The family dynamic has been changed by money. Why do this to you and yours. Oh and the kids . . . immediately took on more jobs, sold stuff, etc, to pay Mom and Dad back. This way Thanksgiving Dinner tastes the way it should in the future.
Scenario 3: Friend/Family turned down by the bank for a loan due to a myriad of reasons, or just one big one, that makes them a high risk lender. That is right. Turned down by the store that sells money. Turned down by the place that will bend over to get a loan in place because this is how they make their money. Even they could not figure out how to take on this risk.
They come to you, you loan the money. What makes you smarter than the bank? The risk never went anywhere.
One cannot borrow their way out of a problem, nor to prosperity. Do not inject money into family or friend relationships. If they need money, and you want them to have it, give it to them.
