warning signs in kids/teens- violence

[libby]

Okay, I do not want to overreact, but I'm pretty alarmed at the Facebook page of one of my kids' classmates. Full of Nazi stuff and other way out there opinions.
No "threats" of anything, but lots of anger/hate towards teachers and stuff. My kid recognized this as bad "opinions", but not sure he knows (because neither do I) at what point this stuff becomes dangerous.
Who would I call if I thought it should be looked into? Don't want to get a kid in trouble for being stupid, but more than that, I don't want anyone dead because I was too stupid.

 

[SquirrelBait]

Okay, I do not want to overreact, but I'm pretty alarmed at the Facebook page of one of my kids' classmates. Full of Nazi stuff and other way out there opinions.
No "threats" of anything, but lots of anger/hate towards teachers and stuff. My kid recognized this as bad "opinions", but not sure he knows (because neither do I) at what point this stuff becomes dangerous.
Who would I call if I thought it should be looked into? Don't want to get a kid in trouble for being stupid, but more than that, I don't want anyone dead because I was too stupid.

 

[BuddyLee]

Might want to alert the counselor of the school he attends. That would be a great start.

 

[vraiblonde]

We all did stupid stuff when we were kids without considering the impact and impression it might leave on others. But then there were the Columbine killers...

I wouldn't contact the school because they always make such a big deal out of everything without bothering to look into the situation. I'd call the kid's parents and let them know first.

 

[libby]

We all did stupid stuff when we were kids without considering the impact and impression it might leave on others. But then there were the Columbine killers...

I wouldn't contact the school because they always make such a big deal out of everything without bothering to look into the situation. I'd call the kid's parents and let them know first.

I don't know the kids' parents at all, so would you still recommend that? My son told me about his guy, but I think my son is pretty naive re: this stuff; he was homeschooled until high school, so really has no idea of the threat that can be out there. Anyway, privacy settings allowed me to look at the kid's FB page, as I said, so now I kinda feel like an authority that has a clue should look. So, I guess I'm surveying you all to determine which authority.

 

[SoccerMom2]

If he is on your kids friends list then your son might have his number.

 

[aps45819]

I don't know the kids' parents at all, so would you still recommend that?
.

Yes.

 

[ItalianScallion]

I don't know the kids' parents at all, so would you still recommend that? My son told me about his guy, but I think my son is pretty naive re: this stuff; he was homeschooled until high school, so really has no idea of the threat that can be out there. Anyway, privacy settings allowed me to look at the kid's FB page, as I said, so now I kinda feel like an authority that has a clue should look. So, I guess I'm surveying you all to determine which authority.

You can call the police and ask them what they'd recommend. No harm no foul, just for advice.
Remember what they said about the Columbine kids? Many saw the signs but ignored them...

 

[libby]

You can call the police and ask them what they'd recommend. No harm no foul, just for advice.
Remember what they said about the Columbine kids? Many saw the signs but ignored them...

Howdy, IT, it's been awhile. As long as they don't mind my being anonymous, and not being willing to give a name yet, maybe that's what I'll do.

 

[bcp]

Most likely nothing, but still, if the kid turned out to be the next school shooter you could never live with yourself.
I would start with the school counselors and let them bring it to the attention of the parents.
I would also try to stay anonymous so that if there was something going on with the kid, he wouldn't try to pick your kid out of the crowd first.

really sad when we have to think like this.

 

[libertytyranny]

We all did stupid stuff when we were kids without considering the impact and impression it might leave on others. But then there were the Columbine killers...

I wouldn't contact the school because they always make such a big deal out of everything without bothering to look into the situation. I'd call the kid's parents and let them know first.

This.


The kid has the same right to free speech we all enjoy and young boys are particularly fond of creating an "image." It is highly unlikely he is a futre school shooter...just by virtue of the stats. It is unfair to him and unwise to assume every kid that expresses anger is a killer. Remember the kid that had to go to counseling because he drew a picture of Jesus on the cross? They said it was angry and violent...Seems to me people like to interpret what they see without asking the kid about it. Parents first. get the school involved too soon and you will create one hell of a problem for the kid...which would only make him angrier at the school and have LESS to lose from breaking rules.

 

[Sweet 16]

Parents first. get the school involved too soon and you will create one hell of a problem for the kid...which would only make him angrier at the school and have LESS to lose from breaking rules.

Why circumvent the parent and go directly to the school? The child is THEIRS and they have primary jurisdiction over him, not the school. Despite what the school thinks.

 

[Bean]

I would absolutely notify the school counselor. This situation requires over reaction.

 

[bcp]

Why circumvent the parent and go directly to the school? The child is THEIRS and they have primary jurisdiction over him, not the school. Despite what the school thinks.

the reason to circumvent the parents in this instance is because if the child is unstable, she is going to want to distance them from him.
Lets say he gets in a boatload of trouble, and he does snap, who do you think he is going after first.

 

[vraiblonde]

How old of a kid are we talking?

 

[migtig]

Makes me think of my cousin David. He used to wear an old Army jacket to school everyday. His room at home was decorated with Nazi helmets and emblems. He had a lot of knives. He used to draw tanks and guns and airplanes in school. He kicked my arse many times over with ju-jitsu moves after school (read he beat up girls). He grew up to become a veteran of the US Army, college graduate, parent and a functioning productive normal non-racist member of society. :shrug:

 

[vraiblonde]

I think it is almost always a mistake to get the authorities involved before the parents. Like Mig said, this could be just some dumb kid thing and harmless. But you contact the cops or the school and now the ####storm starts, with no real idea of how it might end up.

 

[Purplefox]

How old of a kid are we talking?

I think in one of her posts she said her son was home schooled until High School, so the kid is at least 14 (freshman). So we are talking teenager.

They go thru so many phases to try and "discover" themselves. I would peruse his FB page myself and if I felt, in my opinion, that there were any red flags I would speak to his parents.

Until a red flag has been waved, I say let him be. Most likely it's a phase. I raised 2 kids, one boy, one girl who are both in there 20's now.... oldest is closer to 30 than to 20 and they both had their phases.

I would keep an eye on the kids page tho. Just in case. But everyone has to go with their own gut feelings. What I may see as a red flag, others may see as an expression of a bad day and vise versa.

 

[libby]

I appreciate all of the advice. I think what I might do is go to the school counselor first, but not mention the FB page. Perhaps if she can give me a read on whether this kid is just stupid, or if she already knows of something in the background that would cause alarm. I can tell her it's because of things my kid has told me, rather than what has been posted.
If she says that they are watching the kid, or are otherwise aware that he's "off", then I can direct her to the page.
Is that a reasonable compromise?
To the individual that PM'd me about having already notified authorities and given my info to them; while I don't judge you for reacting to my post, this is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I do not plan to contact the individual you did, yet.
There's got to be a balance between acting quickly and overreacting; I'm trying to strike that balance. But, thanks anyway.

 

[playerhater]

Okay, I do not want to overreact, but I'm pretty alarmed at the Facebook page of one of my kids' classmates. Full of Nazi stuff and other way out there opinions.
No "threats" of anything, but lots of anger/hate towards teachers and stuff. My kid recognized this as bad "opinions", but not sure he knows (because neither do I) at what point this stuff becomes dangerous.
Who would I call if I thought it should be looked into? Don't want to get a kid in trouble for being stupid, but more than that, I don't want anyone dead because I was too stupid.

If there is something really threatening on his FB page, yes it should be made a big deal of, if its just opinions I would just monitor it for now. Parents might just come to his defense. A lot to think about, but w all the mass shooting going on by the younger gen I probably would make a call to the police and ask them to get some one who is sort of an expert to look at the FB page to determine if there are signs of danger. Cops must have some type of resource for things like this.