I Need A Bathtub Jesus

[Clem_Shady]

Now that I'm a homeowner and not a renter I can do whatever I want like the rest of you folks have been.

I don't want to paint the walls purple or anything, but I really want a Bathtub Jesus.

I know, most of you like Baja are probably scratching your bald heads and asking "what the hell is a Bathtub Jesus?"

Well, it's where you take the top half of an old bathtub and bury it upright in your front yard. You paint it some nice color. And then you put a statue of Jesus inside the tub part facing the road. It keeps Jesus out of the weather.

So, anyone have the bathtub, and are you able to nicely cut it in half and deliver it?

No bad work please. Professionals only. I've got enough bad construction already. Tub in good or excellent donation.

Thanks in advance,

Your Friend (or enemy) Clem

 

[retiredweaxman]

Is this your first "bathtub Jesus" or did you have one in the 7D or in the house in Lusby?

 

[Gilligan]

This is Sain Murrys Connie, Clem...you cut an old beer keg in half instead.


Jeez.

 

[Baja28]

Better check with your HOA first.

 

[Clem_Shady]

Is this your first "bathtub Jesus" or did you have one in the 7D or in the house in Lusby?

I can see you've been really busy in the public records researching me, which doesn't surprise me.



What's the Lexux Nexus report say?



P.S: Did you watch that "Gasline" movie I posted about PA?

Me thinks you're drinking Benzene.

 

[Clem_Shady]

Better check with your HOA first.

I don't check chit with the HOA.

I've got freedom of religion rights too.

 

[Toxick]

Now that I'm a homeowner and not a renter I can do whatever I want like the rest of you folks have been.

I don't want to paint the walls purple or anything, but I really want a Bathtub Jesus.

I know, most of you like Baja are probably scratching your bald heads and asking "what the hell is a Bathtub Jesus?"

Well, it's where you take the top half of an old bathtub and bury it upright in your front yard. You paint it some nice color. And then you put a statue of Jesus inside the tub part facing the road. It keeps Jesus out of the weather.

So, anyone have the bathtub, and are you able to nicely cut it in half and deliver it?

No bad work please. Professionals only. I've got enough bad construction already. Tub in good or excellent donation.

Thanks in advance,

Your Friend (or enemy) Clem

You know what else looks great, and doesn't break the bank.... Take an old tire, and lay it out in the yard... then fill it up with dirt and put some plants in it!



Also those plywood cutouts that look like a woman is bent over doing gardening... and the silhouette of a cowboy leaning against your wall.




And don't forget the flamingos and gnomes!

 

[Toxick]

I don't check chit with the HOA.

I've got freedom of religion rights too.

Did you sign a little document that says you'd abide by the HOA bylaws?





Yeah.... those hold up pretty well in court if your signature is on it.

 

[Baja28]

You know what else looks great, and doesn't break the bank.... Take an old tire, and lay it out in the yard... then fill it up with dirt and put some plants in it!

Also those plywood cutouts that look like a woman is bent over doing gardening... and the silhouette of a cowboy leaning against your wall.

And don't forget the flamingos and gnomes!

You're such a hick! You have to paint the tire white fool!

 

[Toxick]

You're such a hick! You have to paint the tire white fool!

Yeah... painting it white does add a nice touch of class.

 

[Clem_Shady]

You know what else looks great, and doesn't break the bank.... Take an old tire, and lay it out in the yard... then fill it up with dirt and put some plants in it!

Also those plywood cutouts that look like a woman is bent over doing gardening... and the silhouette of a cowboy leaning against your wall.

And don't forget the flamingos and gnomes!

Sorry, no tires, I don't want to make the neighborhood look bad.

Plus we got all these Ryken kiddies in here.

I am however in need some mannequins in good shape if anyone has any them.

One for the front porch to sit in a rocker. I'll probably stand the others in the windows to make the stalkers think that FBI agents are always watching.

 

[Gilligan]

You know what else looks great, and doesn't break the bank.... Take an old tire, and lay it out in the yard... then fill it up with dirt and put some plants in it!



Also those plywood cutouts that look like a woman is bent over doing gardening... and the silhouette of a cowboy leaning against your wall.




And don't forget the flamingos and gnomes!

OK..so you've clearly shown that you know a lot about landscape design. But you did forget to mention needing an orb too. Regular chrome ones are nice, but the light magenta ones really do it for me.

Now a real pro would go for putting a big ole rotten skiff in the middle of the yard as a planter and not just an old tire. Just sayin....

 

[Clem_Shady]

Let's just end the tire discussion.

I'll be burning them this summer to roast marshmallows and sip wine.

 

[limblips]

Old farm equipment as yard decorations are really in right now. Might I suggest a manure spreader for you?

 

[Clem_Shady]

OK..so you've clearly shown that you know a lot about landscape design. But you did forget to mention needing an orb too. Regular chrome ones are nice, but the light magenta ones really do it for me.

Now a real pro would go for putting a big ole rotten skiff in the middle of the yard as a planter and not just an old tire. Just sayin....

How did you know that a skiff was coming next?

All these Naval Officers in here surely would appreciate a boat full of flowers to view on their way back and to base each day.

 

[Clem_Shady]

Old farm equipment as yard decorations are really in right now. Might I suggest a manure spreader for you?

No need. The County is already gonna be spraying chit on the Hayden Farm and that's in the subdivision's backyard.

 

[desertrat]

You know what else looks great, and doesn't break the bank.... Take an old tire, and lay it out in the yard... then fill it up with dirt and put some plants in it!



Also those plywood cutouts that look like a woman is bent over doing gardening... and the silhouette of a cowboy leaning against your wall.




And don't forget the flamingos and gnomes!

And the sonobouy cases to line the driveway!

 

[Gilligan]

All these Naval Officers in here surely would appreciate a boat full of flowers to view on their way back and to base each day.

:

Actually, I hear there are a LOT of folks who woiuld appreciate seeing you surrounded by lots of flowers.

 

[Merlin99]

Did you sign a little document that says you'd abide by the HOA bylaws?





Yeah.... those hold up pretty well in court if your signature is on it.

I think if you call it an altar and sacrifice small animals at it, it would probably pass muster.

 

[Clem_Shady]

Plenty of good ideas coming, but no bathtub offers yet.