Church Cliques

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karen_grip

New Member
I've been looking for a local church. I've been attending one since Easter but am getting fed with with some members who try to run every show.

There is a group there who are always complaining because they are the ones who do all the work. Truth is they get help to show up but let you know right away "It's always done this way" and if you offer any suggestions you are shot down right away and "put in your place".

I'm very surprised to find "cliques" there also. Kind of like high school. Just not very Christian.
 
foodcritic

foodcritic

New Member
karen_grip said:
I've been looking for a local church. I've been attending one since Easter but am getting fed with with some members who try to run every show.

There is a group there who are always complaining because they are the ones who do all the work. Truth is they get help to show up but let you know right away "It's always done this way" and if you offer any suggestions you are shot down right away and "put in your place".

I'm very surprised to find "cliques" there also. Kind of like high school. Just not very Christian.
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And spreading one sided stories publicly is how you respond. Shall we question ur motives or question your Christian behavior?
 
K

karen_grip

New Member
I certainly would never name names. Just asking for some alternatives to where I have been. How is that unChristian?
 
foodcritic

foodcritic

New Member
karen_grip said:
I certainly would never name names. Just asking for some alternatives to where I have been. How is that unChristian?
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You dont have to name names. Look at the audience your speaking to. ITSBOB loves these stories because it reaffirms in his own mind why he hates the church. The church is msde up of imperfect people. Address the issue with your leadership, not a forum.
 
twinoaks207

twinoaks207

Having Fun!
karen_grip said:
I've been looking for a local church. I've been attending one since Easter but am getting fed with with some members who try to run every show.

There is a group there who are always complaining because they are the ones who do all the work. Truth is they get help to show up but let you know right away "It's always done this way" and if you offer any suggestions you are shot down right away and "put in your place".

I'm very surprised to find "cliques" there also. Kind of like high school. Just not very Christian.
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I hate to break it to you but there are "cliques" no matter where you go. Groups seem to be called cliques only by the people who do not belong to the group. Some groups are easier to join than others. Sounds like the one group at your church has a set rhythm going and doesn't see a need for change. That's okay for them and is no reflection on you. Or, perhaps it is the way that you are suggesting changes. Perhaps different methods might help. The "we've always done it this way" sometimes is nothing more than -- "we have tried it many different ways and this works best for us here", not a specific slight aimed in your direction.

Have you tried looking for and joining a different group within the church? There is always more than one group and if you keep looking, you can find another one that also has much to offer.

I have to ask -- are you going to church primarily to worship or to find a group of friends to interact and socialize with while "running the show"? I have found that when you do the first, the second will follow -- not necessarily in our time, but in God's time. He will put you where He needs you to be so have some patience.
 
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BernieP

Resident PIA
karen_grip said:
I've been looking for a local church. I've been attending one since Easter but am getting fed with with some members who try to run every show.

There is a group there who are always complaining because they are the ones who do all the work. Truth is they get help to show up but let you know right away "It's always done this way" and if you offer any suggestions you are shot down right away and "put in your place".

I'm very surprised to find "cliques" there also. Kind of like high school. Just not very Christian.
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Welcome to the world of human behavior.

I wouldn't say people do it deliberately. To paraphrase something I recently heard, "they are hearing their ego speaking, not God".
The other aspect is those on the inside never see the problem, they don't see that they are excluding others.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
karen_grip said:
I certainly would never name names. Just asking for some alternatives to where I have been. How is that unChristian?
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It's not. Contrary to what some might think, church people can be as big of jerks as non-church people.

Go church visiting. There are a zillion of them in the area, so each Sunday go to a different one and see what you think. It's kind of interesting that no one who criticized your post thought to invite you to their church. (I don't go to church or I'd invite you.)
 
awpitt

awpitt

Main Streeter
vraiblonde said:
It's not. Contrary to what some might think, church people can be as big of jerks as non-church people.

Go church visiting. There are a zillion of them in the area, so each Sunday go to a different one and see what you think. It's kind of interesting that no one who criticized your post thought to invite you to their church. (I don't go to church or I'd invite you.)
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Very good advice. Go visiting. You'll see how each church responds to you as a first time visitor. That will give you a pretty good indicator as to which church is for you.
 
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BernieP

Resident PIA
awpitt said:
Very good advice. Go visiting. You'll see how each church responds to you as a first time visitor. That will give you a pretty good indicator as to which church is for you.
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No it won't, it will tell you how they treat visitors, not how they take care of members.
 
W

watercolor

yeah yeah
karen_grip said:
I've been looking for a local church. I've been attending one since Easter but am getting fed with with some members who try to run every show.

There is a group there who are always complaining because they are the ones who do all the work. Truth is they get help to show up but let you know right away "It's always done this way" and if you offer any suggestions you are shot down right away and "put in your place".

I'm very surprised to find "cliques" there also. Kind of like high school. Just not very Christian.
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It is very sad. We actually left a church who did that also. Unfortunately because churches ( I don't want to say the entire church because that is simply not true) have become more about rules and regulations, and also separating each service they hold into their own, the lines have been drawn in the sand. As sad as that sounds it is true. but you have to remember it is the human fallibility. And the "church cliques" is what gives any religion the "not very christian" look. Because we are NOT supposed to act like that. (and I am really really sorry to see that others are going through this)

However, if you do find one that is decent. Give a shout. We are looking- and looking for one that is not run on the lines of those who hold "higher" rank.
 
W

watercolor

yeah yeah
awpitt said:
Yes it will. If visitors are not treated well at a church, there's probably not much there worth visiting.
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9 times out of 10 first time visitors will be treated exceptionally well. The best foot will be put forward, then after the 3rd time visiting, they will start to relax. That is when you see the real side come out. We generally use the 3 strikes rule.

However, you are right awpitt, there are times when a church is either to big or doesnt care who will not acknowledge you from the beginning.
 
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BernieP

Resident PIA
vraiblonde said:
But it's a good start, don't you agree?
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Oh, I agree it's a good start, but it takes more then one visit. Sort of like going on vacation someplace and living there.

Speaking for the Christian denominations, including the Roman Catholic Church, what seperates one from the other is not the word of God but the rules of man.

I don't think you can decide on a church in one visit. In fact you can't get to know a church unless you spend some time and get involved.

That's when you will learn about all the man made stuff that might lead to frustration.
 
ftcret

ftcret

New Member
Which Church have you been going to? If it is diffferent then I will invite you to the one I frequent.
 
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Terrid76

New Member
I just finished reading this thread and I'd love to invite everyone to Good Samaritan Lutheran Church on Great Mills Road. I have found it to be a very welcoming church and one that is very open to new people. There opporunities to worship the Lord for the young and for those not so young. We have small groups that met to knit/crochet or discuss books or just to get together. There are youth groups and social outreach. If you are looking for a new church home, please come and visit.
 
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