The Life of an Addict

Chasey_Lane

Salt Life
Worth a read.

Heroin in Southern Maryland: The brief life of an addict - Southern Maryland News

When describing her son, Jacob “Jake” Paddy, Ginger Rosela of Owings fondly recalled his compassion for animals and love of bicycles and four-wheelers. “He was the most sensitive kid I had,” said Rosela.

The picture of Jake she has in a journal of his life is the same image that was used for his obituary. The 23 year-old St. Leonard resident died July 19. While the obituary posted by Rausch Funeral Home stated he died “unexpectedly,” there were clear signs Jake’s life was imperiled.

Rosela, along with her mother, Charlotte Moreland, spoke recently with The Bay Net about the young man’s brief life and the struggles that led to its abrupt end.

“When Jake was in high school he wrecked on his bicycle,” said Rosela. “He had major surgery at Washington Hospital Center and was homeschooled for a while.”

Rosela said doctors treating her son during his recovery from surgery prescribed pain medicine. “I think that was the beginning of Jake liking the feel of prescribed pain medicine,” she said. “We’d talk about it, like ‘Jake, are you alright?’ We didn’t know what was going on until it started to get a little out of control.”

With her son becoming moody and over-sleeping, and showing other signs of a dependence on the painkillers, Jake’s family decided to put him in rehab.

“He went willingly,” said Rosela, who explained the rehab facility was in Baltimore. “He came out of rehab and was really doing well. I think it helped. It gave him a way to cope with things.”

Realizing the rehabilitation process was still ongoing, Rosela quit her job with an Annapolis-based defense contractor “so I could totally focus on him and give him strength. I would take him to meetings and monitor him. And he was doing really well.”

Still there were lapses, Rosela indicated, and her son would still seek the high a pill would provide. “Jake’s drug of choice was Oxycontin,” she said. The opiod pain reliever is similar to morphine.

Moreland said Jake sent her a letter admitting to visiting crack houses and stopping people on the street for money to buy drugs. In that same letter, Moreland said her grandson assured her he had never used heroin.

Rosela described her son as “a hard-working young man.” He worked with his father as a tire technician at McCarthy Tire in Hughesville.

May 11, 2010 was not a good day for Jake. According to information available online by the Maryland judicial system, Jake was involved in an accident at the northbound Route 2/4 – Dares Beach Road intersection. Instead of stopping he drove on, but was subsequently apprehended in the Owings area. Court records show several charges filed against him that day, including failure to stop after an accident involving damage, attempt to elude police by failing to stop, attempt to elude by fleeing on foot and driving while impaired.

Rosela said her son went to jail as a result of the incident. When he came out of jail and was placed on probation and Rosela said Jake looked great. “He was totally clean,” she said, adding that Jake had to check in with his probation officer and submit to urine tests.

This past spring, Jake was injured in another cycle accident. “We went to Calvert [Memorial] Hospital to meet him and his girlfriend,” Rosela recalled. “They put him in a sling. I don’t know if they gave him any pain medicine. We made an appointment with a doctor in Annapolis.” That physician recommended Jake undergo surgery and prescribed Oxycontin to kill the pain. Rosela recalled her son telling the doctor “I’m in recovery. I don’t think I should take these.” Rosela recalled the doctor advising that for the short amount of time he would be on the drug, “you’ll be fine.” Jake then filled out the prescription. “We were all very concerned that this would be a trigger.”

Rosela said her son continued to work and was subsequently given a non-narcotic called Tramadol.

Sometime around June Rosela received a phone call from an acquaintance who said, “Ginger, Jake is shooting dope.”

“And I said ‘no way.’ I didn’t believe it was true,” Rosela recalled. “But I immediately called Jake and said ‘I just got a call that you were shooting dope. What is going on?’ He said ‘oh, Mom, that’s ridiculous. That’s not true I would never do that.’ I said, ‘Jake, c’mon, if this is happening we’ll get you some help.’ He said ‘Mom, I’m not doing it [shooting up],’ so I let it go.”

Jake soon had to go to court for violating the terms of his probation. “He didn’t finish his drug class and he came up ‘dirty,’ positive with morphine,” Rosela recalled. “I said ‘it’s right here in black and white,’ and he’s still denying it. He said ‘OK Mom, I just tried it once or twice. I didn’t like it. It’s not a problem. I got this.’ ”

Rosela said she learned later that three of Jake’s friends knew he was using heroin.

About a week before her son died, Rosela was at the home of her former husband, where Jake was living. “I saw the bruises on his arm. I said ‘what is this?’ His excuse was that his girlfriend was pinching him. I really didn’t think anything more of it because he looked fine. I said to him ‘Jake are you sure?’ His dad checked his room looking for evidence of anything. [He] couldn’t find anything. I said ‘are you sure because we can go and get some help.’ I will tell you addicts don’t like to disappoint. They don’t want to disappoint you again and again. I think that’s why Jake didn’t ask for our help again. Because they feel so guilty about what they’re doing that they can’t help it. Because addiction is a disease. Until people understand that and believe that they’ll keep on thinking addicts are trolls underneath the bridge shooting up. No! They are your sons and daughters and neighbors.”

Rosela was out of the area when her son passed away. She recounted the details she learned of his final hours. “One Thursday night after Jake had been swimming with his friends, he cooked dinner and they were heading out and he had a few beers,” she said. “I don’t think people understand this—alcohol and heroin are extremely lethal. If he had just had the heroin and not three or four beers he might not have died. You cannot mix the two. He went into the bathroom and did his thing. By his autopsy report it went straight to his heart and pretty much killed him instantly. His father and his younger brother found him the next morning.”

Rosela said the officer who investigated the unattended death indicated Jake didn’t appear to know what he was doing. She said as friends and family gathered to grieve, some of her sons friends told her they believe Jake had been “experimenting” with heroin for a month and half. This was likely a result of the fact that pills such as Oxycontin have become more expensive in the drug market than heroin, which is now relatively cheap.

Rosela relayed that the word on the street was that the dealer who sold her son his fatal dose lives in Calvert County, was arrested the day after Jake died and was subsequently bailed out by his supplier. She had also learned through the grapevine that the dealer had advised her son the quantity of heroin was quite potent and to “be careful.”

“He didn’t think it would take his life,” said Rosela. “He just had a problem.”

Her son’s funeral service lasted nearly three hours, with several friends and family members standing to eulogize “a good kid.” Rosela admits she gets angry when she sees the posts on The Bay Net that disparage drug users as “losers. My son’s not a loser. My son had a problem. My son was an addict.”

The grieving mother also lamented the lack of affordable health for drug addicts in the region. “There’s not enough facilities in the area,” Rosela said.

Moreland said her grandson’s rehab treatment “was $8,000 for 30 days.”

“Not everyone can afford that,” said Rosela. “There needs to be more help out there. What’s Calvert and St. Mary’s doing? I don’t think they’re doing much of anything.”

Last month, both Rosela and Moreland attended a rally in Washington, DC for “Fed Up,” an organization seeking a federal response to the nation’s opiod epidemic. Rosela said she is hoping to start a support group for families who have been touched by drugs.

According to Calvert County Health Officer Dr. Laurence Polsky, the county has indeed seen a significant increase in heroin use, as individuals craving their prescription opiate of choice transition to a substance that is now available at a cheaper price. Polsky explained the potency of the illegal drug “is very dramatic,” and heroin is sold on the streets in differing levels of potency. He added that very often the street drugs “are cut with other substances.”

While the service offered to addicts at Calvert Substance Abuse Services comes with a cost, Polsky said the rates are on a “sliding scale,” determined by an individual’s income. No one who seeks help is turned away.

Polsky admitted the recidivism rate for individuals hooked on opiates is high. “The greatest problem is they go back to the same environment and the same temptations are there again. They are welcome to come back in.” Polsky said the Substance Abuse Services staff members “know the realities” of fighting addictions and often it takes several efforts at rehab to finally break free of the habit.

“Every six minutes, somebody overdoses,” said Rosela, a staggering statistic she learned from speaking with other grief-stricken family members and advocates at the Fed Up rally.

Despite losing her son in a battle with addiction, Rosela indicated she was ready to go to war to eradicate the nation’s prescription drug scourge.

“He had a disease and the disease won,” she said. “I don’t feel guilty because our family tried everything.”
 

pelers

Active Member
I have very little sympathy for self inflicted "diseases." This article is begging for sympathy for the son, but it doesn't mention any of his victims. How many wrecks was he in? Were they all only single vehicle wrecks? I'm on my phone so I can't really do the research, but I'd be interested to know.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
I have very little sympathy for self inflicted "diseases." This article is begging for sympathy for the son, but it doesn't mention any of his victims. How many wrecks was he in? Were they all only single vehicle wrecks? I'm on my phone so I can't really do the research, but I'd be interested to know.

I'll come sit next to you. :huggy:

The kicker is this line:

“Not everyone can afford that,” said Rosela. “There needs to be more help out there. What’s Calvert and St. Mary’s doing? I don’t think they’re doing much of anything.”

What, Ms. Rosela, do you want the county to do? YOU are the parent. What can the county give him that you cannot? Support? Supervision? It costs nothing to look up NA groups in this area and attend their meetings.

I get so tired of everyone thinking that it's up to the government to solve their problems and make their choices for them. I have sympathy for the parents of any kid who goes astray (unless the parent is a POS who is part of the problem), but at some point your kid needs to take responsibility for himself.

This is why I also get tired of the old "addiction is a disease" saw. No, it's not. Diabetes is a disease. Cancer is a disease. Addiction is a choice. Calling it a disease removes all responsibility from the addict, which is 9/10ths of their problem in the first place.
 

Dakota

~~~~~~~
I have very little sympathy for self inflicted "diseases." This article is begging for sympathy for the son, but it doesn't mention any of his victims. How many wrecks was he in? Were they all only single vehicle wrecks? I'm on my phone so I can't really do the research, but I'd be interested to know.

I think the article supports what many of us have been saying all along... the heroin problems have started with the over prescribing of pain pills.
 

MarieB

New Member
"Rosela recalled the doctor advising that for the short amount of time he would be on the drug, “you’ll be fine.” "


Wow, that was a mistake. :(

Sad story, and I agree that there is a lack of rehab facilities in some areas, and the ones that exist tend to be very expensive.
 

bilbur

New Member
I think the article supports what many of us have been saying all along... the heroin problems have started with the over prescribing of pain pills.

I don't agree with this. The problem is with the individual not the prescription pain meds. If someone has to take pain killers for an extended period of time due to an accident or surgery any responsible doctor will wean them off of the medication when they no longer need it. Most of the problem is with the person taking the pain killers, they allow themselves to take more than they need to get the feeling of euphoria and then they are chasing that feeling and will selfishly try and get it by any means necessary. Doctors may be quick to give these meds out but blaming them is like blaming McDonalds for making me fat. When will people start taking personal responsibility and stop calling self inflicted situations a disease which is nothing more than a crutch.
 

MarieB

New Member
There are also genetic variables involved, and your brain actually changes when you become addicted to xyz
 

luvmygdaughters

Well-Known Member
"Rosela recalled the doctor advising that for the short amount of time he would be on the drug, “you’ll be fine.” "


Wow, that was a mistake. :(

Sad story, and I agree that there is a lack of rehab facilities in some areas, and the ones that exist tend to be very expensive.

So are the drugs they use.
 

my-thyme

..if momma ain't happy...
Patron
I really struggle with calling addictions a disease.

I will concede that there are genetic factors involved, chemicals in the brain then say "Hey, that feels great, do it some more".

And it would certainly appear that addictions run in families, further pointing to genetics. "Great Grandpa, Great Uncle Bill, Uncle Jim, Aunt Jane, mom are all alcoholics, so I better watch it" is the moto for as many people as "Hey, it's in the family, I can't help it" is the moto for others.

Looks like a choice, just like taking that first cigarette from your buddy.

I think education is the best step, convincing kids to not take that first cigarette or drink. The Dare program has the basic idea, but doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

Sorry parents, but your example is looking to really be the key. I look around at my friends and family. Parents that don't smoke and drink moderately seem to have kids that follow that example. Even when only one parents smokes or drinks (heavily), seems that about half the kids follow that example. Of course, that's just my experience.

And I don't believe anyone starts with heroin. A cigarette as a teen, some alcohol, and then on to whatever someone offers you. The genetic tendencies probably kick in at that point.

As for help, I strongly agree that it is not up to the government. But, parents/family members/friends of an addict need a support system. I personally didn't find AlaNon helpful at all.
 

itsbob

I bowl overhand
Wow, I can't believe you people..

REALLY?

You can't make the connection and see, staring you right in the face the dangerous product that led to his demise?

It's the bicycle.. we need to outlaw ALL bicycles...
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
And it would certainly appear that addictions run in families, further pointing to genetics. "Great Grandpa, Great Uncle Bill, Uncle Jim, Aunt Jane, mom are all alcoholics, so I better watch it" is the moto for as many people as "Hey, it's in the family, I can't help it" is the moto for others.

But I wonder how much of that is biological and how much is learned behavior. My mother tried that line because her father was a drunk - "Oh, it's hereditary..." but she's the only alcoholic out of five siblings, and my grandmother almost never drank.

I am the product of not one, but TWO! alcoholics, and my forays into liquid self-soothing are brief and to the point.

"They" always try to make it the parents' fault, whatever goes wrong with your kid, but that is not always the case.
 

luvmygdaughters

Well-Known Member
While I feel bad for this poor woman, I cannot sympathize with her. There are too many kids in this world who dont get a fair break, live thru hell and still manage to turn out okay and become productive members of society. As long as we continue to treat self induced addictions as a "disease" there will always be a crutch to lean on and excuses to be made for them. Its not up to the county, state, or federal government to get your kids off of the drugs. I dont know how any sane person can tie a tourniquet around their arm, stick a needle full of drugs into their body and then want me to feel sorry for them.
This kid may have loved animals, poetry and been a gentle soul, but, he also was involved in accidents and fled the scene. He was stopping people on the street to get money or drugs, was he also breaking into peoples homes? Robbing gas stations?

The war on drugs needs to be increased, tougher penalties for pushers and users. Tougher sentencing for crimes involving drugs. Thats the only alternative I see. Warehousing drug users with rehab isnt going to do it.
 

my-thyme

..if momma ain't happy...
Patron
But I wonder how much of that is biological and how much is learned behavior. My mother tried that line because her father was a drunk - "Oh, it's hereditary..." but she's the only alcoholic out of five siblings, and my grandmother almost never drank.

I am the product of not one, but TWO! alcoholics, and my forays into liquid self-soothing are brief and to the point.

"They" always try to make it the parents' fault, whatever goes wrong with your kid, but that is not always the case.

Again, this looks like a choice to me.

So, do you think your parents "examples" help you to make this choice?
 

my-thyme

..if momma ain't happy...
Patron
And I certainly am not saying it is the fault of parents, and hope that no one sees my son's addictions as my or my husband's fault (we blame ourselves enough, thanks).

But, kids will follow parents examples, like it or not.
 

MarieB

New Member
But I wonder how much of that is biological and how much is learned behavior. My mother tried that line because her father was a drunk - "Oh, it's hereditary..." but she's the only alcoholic out of five siblings, and my grandmother almost never drank.

I am the product of not one, but TWO! alcoholics, and my forays into liquid self-soothing are brief and to the point.

"They" always try to make it the parents' fault, whatever goes wrong with your kid, but that is not always the case.

You do smoke though, right?


Just like any genetic trait, the gene isn't passed to every child. Just to be clear, I'm not saying it is all genetics and that personal responsibility doesn't come into play, but that it is part of the equation and possibly a trigger
 

bilbur

New Member
But I wonder how much of that is biological and how much is learned behavior. My mother tried that line because her father was a drunk - "Oh, it's hereditary..." but she's the only alcoholic out of five siblings, and my grandmother almost never drank.

I am the product of not one, but TWO! alcoholics, and my forays into liquid self-soothing are brief and to the point.

"They" always try to make it the parents' fault, whatever goes wrong with your kid, but that is not always the case.

My grandfather was an alcoholic but my dad gets ill if he as more than a beer or 2. He says it is mental because he saw firsthand what alcohol did to his father. I didn't know my grandfather because he died before I was born. I don't have an aversion to alcohol like my dad but I also only drink a beer maybe only once a month and my sisters are the same way as me. So if alcoholism is genetic it skipped 2 generations.
 

my-thyme

..if momma ain't happy...
Patron
My grandfather was an alcoholic but my dad gets ill if he as more than a beer or 2. He says it is mental because he saw firsthand what alcohol did to his father. I didn't know my grandfather because he died before I was born. I don't have an aversion to alcohol like my dad but I also only drink a beer maybe only once a month and my sisters are the same way as me. So if alcoholism is genetic it skipped 2 generations.

Did it skip generations, or did ya'll make a choice?

Are you and your siblings following your father's minimal drinking example?
 
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