Equating a job to marriage

[vraiblonde]

A Fan Asks Mike Rowe For Life Advice… His Response Is Truly Brilliant.

Hey Mike!

Your analogy sucks. Claire is not looking for *a* man, she is looking for THE man. It's not like finding a job where any one will do because you can leave after a year if you don't like it. If the goal is simply to get married, hell, just pull some idiot off a bar stool and head for the courthouse. If the goal is true love and companionship, that takes a little longer and you have to be patient.

And let me tell you, genuine love and compatibility does exist and is absolutely worth waiting for. There is nothing as wonderful as finding the right seat for your ass.

 

[warneckutz]

A Fan Asks Mike Rowe For Life Advice… His Response Is Truly Brilliant.

Hey Mike!

Your analogy sucks. Claire is not looking for *a* man, she is looking for THE man. It's not like finding a job where any one will do because you can leave after a year if you don't like it. If the goal is simply to get married, hell, just pull some idiot off a bar stool and head for the courthouse. If the goal is true love and companionship, that takes a little longer and you have to be patient.

And let me tell you, genuine love and compatibility does exist and is absolutely worth waiting for. There is nothing as wonderful as finding the right seat for your ass.

 

[vraiblonde]

All that popcorn is going to make you fat.

 

[warneckutz]

All that popcorn is going to make you fat.

It's too late for that... I've given up on the gym and everything healthy... too much SoMD influence.

 

[MMDad]

A Fan Asks Mike Rowe For Life Advice… His Response Is Truly Brilliant.

Hey Mike!

Your analogy sucks. Claire is not looking for *a* man, she is looking for THE man. It's not like finding a job where any one will do because you can leave after a year if you don't like it. If the goal is simply to get married, hell, just pull some idiot off a bar stool and head for the courthouse. If the goal is true love and companionship, that takes a little longer and you have to be patient.

And let me tell you, genuine love and compatibility does exist and is absolutely worth waiting for. There is nothing as wonderful as finding the right seat for your ass.

Nope, he's right. Claire is looking for the one and only ideal man, and is not willing to consider anything but a 100% match. I work with someone who has done this - set his standards at unreasonable levels and refused to consider anyone who doesn't live up to them, even though he's not anywhere close to being on par with his targets. So he is 50, lonely, and bitter.

He's not saying she should shack up with the next guy that buys her a drink. He's saying consider the 80% match, and you might just find 100% happiness.

 

[vraiblonde]

set his standards at unreasonable levels and refused to consider anyone who doesn't live up to them,

But if that's what he wants, why should he settle for someone he doesn't want? As far as him being lonely and bitter, most of the lonely and bitter people I know are in passionless marriages to people they never fell in love with and are now too embedded to leave.

 

[MMDad]

But if that's what he wants, why should he settle for someone he doesn't want? As far as him being lonely and bitter, most of the lonely and bitter people I know are in passionless marriages to people they never fell in love with and are now too embedded to leave.

If it's unrealistic? He wants the Playboy Playmate, and is unwilling to consider anything less. And I'm not talking about giving up and taking anything that comes along, but he's the type who won't consider someone with a normal body. And if she puts on 10 pounds, she's too fat for him to consider. He's rejecting anything that is not a 100% match with his fantasy.

Fantasy is great as long as you don't mistake it for the real world. I can close my eyes and imagine my ideal woman, but in reality there's no chance of it happening. So I can make a choice - hold out for something that will never happen or take risks, expand my horizons, and just maybe find something that's better than the fantasy.

And leave my marriage out of this.

 

[ZARA]

A Fan Asks Mike Rowe For Life Advice… His Response Is Truly Brilliant.

Hey Mike!

Your analogy sucks. Claire is not looking for *a* man, she is looking for THE man. It's not like finding a job where any one will do because you can leave after a year if you don't like it. If the goal is simply to get married, hell, just pull some idiot off a bar stool and head for the courthouse. If the goal is true love and companionship, that takes a little longer and you have to be patient.

And let me tell you, genuine love and compatibility does exist and is absolutely worth waiting for. There is nothing as wonderful as finding the right seat for your ass.

Mike didn't equate marriage to a job, It was looking for the right match. Be it the right romantic match or the right career match.

I agree with Mike. Claire is bitching she can't find what she needs but Claire isn't making any changes to increase her chances...
She refuses to work for it...she just wants Mr. Right to fall in her lap without taking any chances...as if!

“Look at me,” she said. “I take care of myself. I’ve put myself out there. Why is this so hard?”
...
“Have you tried a dating site?” I asked.”
“Are you kidding? I would never date someone I met online!”
“Alright. How about a change of scene? Your company has offices all over – maybe try living in another city?”
“What? Leave San Francisco? Never!”
“How about the other side of town? You know, mix it up a little. Visit different places. New museums, new bars, new theaters…?”
She looked at me like I had two heads. “Why the hell would I do that?”

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

The whole point is to put yourself out there and see what you can find. And she will never find THE MAN if she doesn't give A MAN a chance...unless she truly wants a woman instead that is.

 

[Misfit]

Claire should marry Parker.

 

[vraiblonde]

If it's unrealistic? He wants the Playboy Playmate, and is unwilling to consider anything less. And I'm not talking about giving up and taking anything that comes along, but he's the type who won't consider someone with a normal body. And if she puts on 10 pounds, she's too fat for him to consider. He's rejecting anything that is not a 100% match with his fantasy.

What's wrong with that? If a killer body is important to him, that's the way it is and why should he waste the time of a woman he's not going to be physically attracted to? How is that fair to her?

You and I do not get to decide what others want in a mate. We don't even have to agree with their choices.

 

[MMDad]

What's wrong with that? If a killer body is important to him, that's the way it is and why should he waste the time of a woman he's not going to be physically attracted to? How is that fair to her?

You and I do not get to decide what others want in a mate. We don't even have to agree with their choices.

Because someone who is not able to separate fantasy from reality is sick and needs help. Just like Mike Rowe was trying to provide to his friend. He recognized that she was being unrealistic, and attempted to help her.

As I said, living outside the fantasy world can allow you to find something that turns out to be better than the fantasy ever could have been.

 

[vraiblonde]

Because someone who is not able to separate fantasy from reality is sick and needs help.

Are you kidding me? You think this guy is sick because he wants a woman with a great body?

I don't know what to say to that.

 

[warneckutz]

Are you kidding me? You think this guy is sick because he wants a woman with a great body?

I don't know what to say to that.

 

[Larry Gude]

Your analogy sucks. Claire is not looking for *a* man, she is looking for THE man.


And let me tell you, genuine love and compatibility does exist and is absolutely worth waiting for. There is nothing as wonderful as finding the right seat for your ass.

No, she's not. 'Claire' isn't even looking. As per Mike's recollection of the conversation and knowing her as a friend, he is saying she rejects everything out of hand. "Why not him?" "Not my type" "How do you know?"

You didn't find what you've got now by rejecting everything and everyone that came along. That's not to say you didn't have a very strong idea of what you were looking for but, you were at least willing to do test drives even if they didn't seem like your 'type' on the showroom floor.

I'm dying to have a beer with you and hear how you and Mr. Right found one another. I am so happy for you! It would be kewl to meet him and hear his view, too!!!

Hooray for you!!!

 

[Larry Gude]

He's saying consider the 80% match, and you might just find 100% happiness.

No, he's not. He's saying if you're not even in the game, there is no way you can ever win it.

Claire, and your friend, are terrified and, the longer they wait, the more unlikely success will just 'fall' in their lap. And, if they ever do pull the trigger, there probably gonna end up doing what everyone else does to make things work between two people; deal with the imperfections and let all the good outweigh the bad as best they can. Which they will have had ZERO practice at. Imagine setting some construct of how you see things at, what, age 30, and, finally, at 50, you find "it" only to find that you'd spent sooooo much time rejecting everything else that you didn't even notice that the things that matter most to you...have changed.

Bleachers; they make 'em bigger than the field for a reason.

 

[ZARA]

No, she's not. 'Claire' isn't even looking. As per Mike's recollection of the conversation and knowing her as a friend, he is saying she rejects everything out of hand. "Why not him?" "Not my type" "How do you know?"
...
That's not to say you didn't have a very strong idea of what you were looking for but, you were at least willing to do test drives even if they didn't seem like your 'type' on the showroom floor.

Sorry Dear...That part is a bad example. I know guys don't understand this part of the female mentality, but we really do know within 5 seconds of seeing a man if we are willing to have sex with him or not. That's why I left that part of the conversation out of my reply. If we aren't willing to have sex with him, he isn't our type.

 

[MMDad]

Are you kidding me? You think this guy is sick because he wants a woman with a great body?

I don't know what to say to that.

That isn't what I said, was it? I said that someone who is not able to separate fantasy from reality is sick. Do you disagree?

 

[warneckutz]

we really do know within 5 seconds of seeing a man if we are willing to have sex with him or not. If we aren't willing to have sex with him, he isn't our type.

 

[Larry Gude]

Sorry Dear...That part is a bad example. I know guys don't understand this part of the female mentality, but we really do know within 5 seconds of seeing a man if we are willing to have sex with him or not. That's why I left that part of the conversation out of my reply. If we aren't willing to have sex with him, he isn't our type.

Sorry, dear. You don't know that from glancing at a guy at the end of the bar anymore than you know that about the entire internet without at least looking. Every woman's 'soul' mate, at some point, looks like the guy at the end of the bar. There is ZERO telling what was going on with him at that moment. And I've known too many women who've gone on and fell in long and happy love with a guy they couldn't stand at first.

Just because you reject a guy who could have been YOUR ONE before you find out at least a little bit is no indication of the infallibility of women and their first impressions. If you believe it is true, good enough. That's your thing.

 

[Larry Gude]

I agree with Mike. Claire is bitching she can't find what she needs but Claire isn't making any changes to increase her chances...
She refuses to work for it...she just wants Mr. Right to fall in her lap without taking any chances...as if!



Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

The whole point is to put yourself out there and see what you can find. And she will never find THE MAN if she doesn't give A MAN a chance...unless she truly wants a woman instead that is.

So, we're in agreement, then?