To pick up where the other now deleted thread left off (from what I can remember);
Is society so mindless today that we must set reminders to take care of our children?
In the previous thread I’ve read that “it could happen to anyone”, “it was an accident”, it was a tragic “mistake”. As I’ve stated, actions have consequences and one of the consequences of not paying attention to the important things in life, your children, is injury/death.
Now people are saying that it must be nice to be a perfect parent since I’ve never had this situation happen to me, well the thing is, I’m not a perfect parent, far from it, but I strive every day to be one. I consciously think about the welfare of my children, just like millions of parents do, every day, and like other parents, I am aware that my actions directly impact the welfare of my children. This parent didn’t and we are now discussing the results of his actions. I’ve heard the excuse “he was on auto-pilot” and other excuses that justify his actions, well; there is no excuse to justify his actions. Just like a drunk driver has an excuse for his actions (their drinking is a disease), this parent does not have a valid excuse for leaving his child in a hot car, even after he went and drove it a meeting in the middle of the day.
This isn’t about being a perfect parent, there is no such thing as a perfect parent (IMO), it’s an unattainable goal but no matter what, it’s still worth striving to achieve. One must think about one’s actions and how they affect other’s, look at the affect this parent’s actions had, a child is dead, a mother has lost not only her child but her marriage and her life will never be the same, she has probably lost the trust she once had for her husband (that trust will never be regained), the man she loved will never be the same, a brother has lost his sibling, his relationship with his father has forever changed and not for the good, the grandparents have lost a grandchild and are now caught up in the middle of this situation. Your actions just don’t just affect you, it affects everyone around you.
Now people say don’t judge, well if we don’t judge a person’s bad behavior and actions as a society are we ever going to make society a better place? Look at society today, it’s a blameless society, when someone does something bad it’s because of some external reason or disease, hardly anyone takes responsibility for their actions anymore. People say we shouldn’t shame this person, that they already have enough guilt, to that, I say BS. This person should have thought about the consequences of his actions before he did them, afterwards is too late. Part of being held accountable for your actions is taking the punishment, as part of the punishment is being judged by your peers (society) and shaming is a way we as a society voice our displeasure of one’s actions.
As I’ve stated, this is not an accident, an accident is something that can’t be avoided, a mistake is something that is just a harmless inconvenience; a mistake is bouncing a check or forgetting to put gas in your car. When a person is injured or killed due to negligence, that is not an accident or mistake, it’s the actions of an irresponsible person and is 100% avoidable. There were several times this incident could have been avoided, but the father ignored every one of them and now we are discussing the end result.
I feel, as a society, we need to stop making excuses for these kinds of actions, for making excuses alleviates the person of their responsibility and partially absolves them of the guilt. The “it wasn’t his fault, his brain was in auto-pilot”, the “it was an honest mistake”, the “it was an accident” only re-enforces to society that this behavior, while tragic, is acceptable to a degree. There is no acceptance for leaving your child in a hot car because you are too absorbed in something else besides that most important thing in your life, that child.