Blonde jokes

[BOP]

Remember when "blonde" jokes replaced "polack" jokes? I swiped this from youtube.

Ok, there's a blonde gets pulled over by a blonde female police officer who says "can I see your license, please?"

The blonde says as shes rummaging through her hand bag, "what's the license look like again?"

The cop says "it's a rectangle shape about this long, this wide, and has a picture of you on it."

The blonde pulls out her compact mirror and says, "oh here it is!"

The cop said "Oh I'm sorry, if I'd known you were a cop, I wouldn't of pulled you over.

 

[b23hqb]

Never enough blonde jokes to go around.......

 

[Tech]

Yes there is.

 

[DEEKAYPEE8569]

A blonde is driving alone on a deserted highway when an old van comes out of nowhere and starts tail-gating her; flashing headlights and blowing the horn. So, the blonde pulls over. The van pulls over behind her and a long-haired, ripped jeans-wearing, bandana-wearing guy gets out, weilding a knife and a piece of chalk.

The wannabe biker walks to the front of the blonde's car, draws a circle on the paved shoulder and orders her out of the car; and to stand in the middle of the circle.

The blonde complies. The guy then proceeds to rip the blonde's car to shreds with the knife; the inside of the trunk, the seats, the dash, the door panels, everything.

When he finishes, he turns around to see the blonde laying on the ground inside the circle dying of laughter. He says, "HEY.....what's so funny?"

Between gasps for air, the blonde says, "I jumped out of the circle three times while you weren't looking."

Edit: This is the other one I just now remembered:

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.

As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting,

"BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BOEING....."

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the ####-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot.

She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,

"OEING! OEING! OEING!...."

 

[luvmygdaughters]

Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.
She also went out and bought a new convertible.
She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.
She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.
"Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.
"Okay.", replied the herder.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheepherder.
So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".
"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right.
Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?", queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"

 

[luvmygdaughters]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little #### on your knee."