Young Child Behavior

KDENISE977

New Member
This is nothing more than a PSA for any parents who are having a hard time with their young children listening. This isn't a sermon on parenting or what anyone is doing wrong or right. I'm merely sharing what worked for ME. My son is an only child, 3 years old...enough said, only child... I know. His school recently reached out to us and said they were really having a hard time with him and he wasn't listening and basically disrupting the entire classroom. Not much they can do in the form of discipline because everything is considered "abuse". He wasn't acting like a fool at home because he knows we will give him a spanking (rarely) or time outs. SO, at the suggestion of the daycare/school director, we implements a "smiley face" chart. I honestly wasn't on board at first...BUT IT WORKS !!! The kiddo gets smiley faces or sad faces(when he's bad) on his chart every day. Both at home and at school. At school it's taped above his cubby and at home it on the fridge. He's since done a COMPLETE 180. We don't reward for the smileys, just a big hug or "I"m so proud of you" and make a HUGE deal out of the smileys....but if he gets 3 sad faces :mad: we take away something for the day, for us, it's his TV time..he loses his television and cartoons the entire evening. It's been working brilliantly. We haven't actually had to use the no TV nights because he's not had 3 sad faces at all. He's actually ASKING can he do this or can he do that, where as before he was just up and ON the table dancing around like a crazy person :lol:
Again, I'm just sharing what is working for us and if it helps anyone else...
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Again, I'm just sharing what is working for us and if it helps anyone else...

That's what my daughter did with my grandson, too, and it really made a huge difference in his behavior. He actually got something for x-many smilies, though - usually an outing type of thing. She let him become part of the process (you want this thing, how many smilies should it cost you?) and that worked well, too.

Good for you, KD, in coming up with a solution. They're a handful at that age. :yay:
 

KDENISE977

New Member
That's what my daughter did with my grandson, too, and it really made a huge difference in his behavior. He actually got something for x-many smilies, though - usually an outing type of thing. She let him become part of the process (you want this thing, how many smilies should it cost you?) and that worked well, too.

Good for you, KD, in coming up with a solution. They're a handful at that age. :yay:

Exactly, it was recommended that he get a treat or a visit to Sweet Frog if he got all smiley faces for the entire week (yet to happen).

It's hard for a child to grasp the thought of "I'm not the only one" when in a classroom with 20 other kids and he really is "the only one" in his home atmosphere, not as in letting the world revolve around HIM but that he really DOES have the attention of mommy or daddy all to himself when he's not at school...it was/is a hard lesson for him to learn at a young age.
 

Monello

Smarter than the average bear
PREMO Member
An episode of Wife Swap used the same technique to get a brat to fall in line. It shifts the responsibility to the little person, where it belongs.

I remember having a very large kindergarten class in the 60s. I also don't recall anyone really acting up. Now I read stories of pre-k kids biting staff and throwing chairs. Could it be that we feared the physical wrath of our teachers and parents enough to keep us in line?
 

KDENISE977

New Member
An episode of Wife Swap used the same technique to get a brat to fall in line. It shifts the responsibility to the little person, where it belongs.

I remember having a very large kindergarten class in the 60s. I also don't recall anyone really acting up. Now I read stories of pre-k kids biting staff and throwing chairs. Could it be that we feared the physical wrath of our teachers and parents enough to keep us in line?

I've never seen any episode of Wife Swap where kids are less than totally spoiled on ONE side.

Also, let me be clear, my kiddo wasn't being physically violent with anyone, I DO think that's totally different.

My kid was striving for the attention of the teacher... distracting the whole class because the teacher wasn't just paying attention to him... nothing violent. And for any reason it was WRONG and not okay and we were trying to find a way to correct that. He needs to know he's not the only one. Not the only kid in the room sort of thing. I don't want him to be that annoying adult who thinks the sun rises and sets with his moods or whatever he wants to do or NOT do.
 
I'm curious.... is it a personal reflection (gee, I didn't get many smilies today...) or a comparison (gee, my classmates got LOTS more smilies than me, I need to be good to catch up and not look stupid..) that gets them motivated?
 

dontknowwhy

New Member
Whatever happened to the good ol days of dad knocking back a few before delivering the daily beatings....whether we needed it or not?
 

ArkRescue

Adopt me please !
I was in DSW Saturday and there was a small child in there throwing a tantrum screaming at the top of his lungs - very annoying. The mother kept telling him to stop and he just screamed more. Finally she had her female friend/relative? take him outside. What in the world is going on for a child to act like that in a store? I wondered if it was bad parenting or just a difficult child. How would one best deal with that kind of scenario? Just thought I'd throw this out there since I was wondering what the parent could have done in this case?
 
I was in DSW Saturday and there was a small child in there throwing a tantrum screaming at the top of his lungs - very annoying. The mother kept telling him to stop and he just screamed more. Finally she had her female friend/relative? take him outside. What in the world is going on for a child to act like that in a store? I wondered if it was bad parenting or just a difficult child. How would one best deal with that kind of scenario? Just thought I'd throw this out there since I was wondering what the parent could have done in this case?

Injectable tranquilizer.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
What in the world is going on for a child to act like that in a store?

Clearly you don't have children because they all lose their sh*t at some point, just some more frequently than others. The biggest catalyst of insanity in normally well-behaved children is when Mommy has ignored Rule #1: Do not take your child out when it is tired or hungry. ALWAYS obey naptime, and ALWAYS bring a snack for just in case.
 

ArkRescue

Adopt me please !
Clearly you don't have children because they all lose their sh*t at some point, just some more frequently than others. The biggest catalyst of insanity in normally well-behaved children is when Mommy has ignored Rule #1: Do not take your child out when it is tired or hungry. ALWAYS obey naptime, and ALWAYS bring a snack for just in case.

I do have 1, he rarely ever cried, and I really don't recall him acting up much either (he's learning disabled, but I don't think that makes them more difficult?). I guess I was lucky because he did very well playing alone, except now he's a video-game-a-holic.
 

somdfunguy

not impressed
I was in DSW Saturday and there was a small child in there throwing a tantrum screaming at the top of his lungs - very annoying. The mother kept telling him to stop and he just screamed more. Finally she had her female friend/relative? take him outside. What in the world is going on for a child to act like that in a store? I wondered if it was bad parenting or just a difficult child. How would one best deal with that kind of scenario? Just thought I'd throw this out there since I was wondering what the parent could have done in this case?

LOL, most if not all children do this at one point or another. Until I had children I didn't get it either.
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
Again, I'm just sharing what is working for us and if it helps anyone else...

Token economy. :yay: :yay:

This is what Thing1's teachers used with him all throughout elementary school. He was SpEd throughout, as well, and sometimes prone to negative behaviors. The positive reinforcement charts worked most of the time to help him stay on track. We also incorporated the use of them at home, too. They do work and can help modify behaviors quite well when used consistently. :clap:
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
Clearly you don't have children because they all lose their sh*t at some point, just some more frequently than others. The biggest catalyst of insanity in normally well-behaved children is when Mommy has ignored Rule #1: Do not take your child out when it is tired or hungry. ALWAYS obey naptime, and ALWAYS bring a snack for just in case.

:yay:

In Thing1's case, we never went out after 4pm. I found out that he could not maintain behavior after that hour if we went out in public. To dinner, shopping, or anything more than just a quick run to the store for milk, bread, etc. 5 mins in and out, for example. He was just overloaded by that time of the day and he didn't need to be dragged around on errands.

Thing2 was more laid back & didn't have the same issues as his older brother, but he NEEDED his naps, and snacks, so I paid attention to the time when we went places, too. :lol:
 
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