Hate your in-laws?

[vraiblonde]

Why'd you marry their kid?

That's a real question. Did you not realize you hated them before you married into their family, or were they okay then and waited to whip out the crazy after you were legally bound?

Not judging, just curious. My first husband, I didn't give it much thought and liked his folks well enough anyway. His dad was a blowhard but his mom was a sweetie and because he was in the military we didn't see a lot of them anyway. Larry's family is great - I liked them better than I did Larry. By then I was older and smarter, so I definitely looked hard at his fam before going any further with him and I still like them very much to this day.

So why did you marry a guy/gal whose parents you can't stand?

 

[kwillia]

My 19 (soon to be 20) year old daughter has stated that it would be a deal breaker if the guy she is dating does not get along with her family or does not want to participate in family events.

 

[Larry Gude]

Larry's family is great - I liked them better than I did Larry. By then I was older and smarter, so I definitely looked hard at his fam before going any further with him and I still like them very much to this day. ?

She actually asked the judge for my family in the settlement...


Bytch....the judge not her. She gave 'em to her. :

 

[Ken King]

Why'd you marry their kid?

That's a real question. Did you not realize you hated them before you married into their family, or were they okay then and waited to whip out the crazy after you were legally bound?

Not judging, just curious. My first husband, I didn't give it much thought and liked his folks well enough anyway. His dad was a blowhard but his mom was a sweetie and because he was in the military we didn't see a lot of them anyway. Larry's family is great - I liked them better than I did Larry. By then I was older and smarter, so I definitely looked hard at his fam before going any further with him and I still like them very much to this day.

So why did you marry a guy/gal whose parents you can't stand?

Married her because I loved her, family wasn't even a consideration.

 

[lovinmaryland]

Ive only had the one and like you didnt pay them much thought at first. Our dating didnt include spending time w/ his or my family. That didnt really happen until we were married & had children... at that point it was too late :shrug:

Its funny I try to explain the situation and how his mother treats him, us, our children and they dont really believe it until they see it themselves. Hell he's even brushed it off or didnt want to believe it until it was so blatant it was hard to deny it anymore.

I just keep telling myself maybe it will one day get better or its only once a year suck it up.

 

[vraiblonde]

She actually asked the judge for my family in the settlement...

You can keep Aunt Elaine.

 

[DoWhat]

She actually asked the judge for my family in the settlement...


Bytch....the judge not her. She gave 'em to her. :

 

[homedepot20]

Married her because I loved her, family wasn't even a consideration.

Same Here !

 

[MMM_donuts]

I assume this thread was inspired in part by my Christmas post.

My husband made it very clear that my MIL is certifiable even though she initially comes off as pleasant. We only have to see her the one time of year and I can live with that. Does it ruin Christmas? Yes, but that's ok. I can deal with that for my husband. He has his own way of coping with her.

If anything, I am mostly disappointed that I haven't figured out how to deal with her. Usually I am very good at handling difficult people on a short term basis but this is a challenge I haven't conquered yet.

 

[RPMDAD]

Sadly my wife's father passed away when she was young. I always got along with my M.I.L., sadly she has passed away also. I also passed the test with all my wife's uncles and aunts and get along with all of them very well.

 

[Larry Gude]

You can keep Aunt Elaine.

I got visitation with all of them, so there.

 

[homedepot20]

I assume this thread was inspired in part by my Christmas post.

My husband made it very clear that my MIL is certifiable even though she initially comes off as pleasant. We only have to see her the one time of year and I can live with that. Does it ruin Christmas? Yes, but that's ok. I can deal with that for my husband. He has his own way of coping with her.

If anything, I am mostly disappointed that I haven't figured out how to deal with her. Usually I am very good at handling difficult people on a short term basis but this is a challenge I haven't conquered yet.

Sounds like my MIL ! Are we related ????

 

[Bann]

My first marriage - he was in the Navy and his family was all in MT. I didn't meet them until we got married. I feel now that I didn't know him long enough, and I definitely didn't know his parents or how they interacted as a family, etc. I don't think I would have done anything different, because even though I wasn't young & naive, (I was 30) I didn't think it would matter how his family was. OH BUT IT DOES. Good thing we always lived far away from them.

I don't presently have "official" in-laws, but I love, love, LOVE Foxhound's mom and dad. I adore them, actually. From the very first day I met them, they have been awesome to me. (I met them the day before my mom passed away) They have welcomed me and my two sons right into their family. I love his sisters, as well - they are all so wonderful to me. It's just one big happy love fest! But seriously, I wish I'd known them longer - they have a great family.

 

[MMDad]

Vrai, your mother is intolerable, no? So why would anyone marry you?

I actually like my inlaws. It's just their daughter/sister that I cannot stand.

 

[kwillia]

Vrai, your mother is intolerable, no? So why would anyone marry you?

Heck, I can answer this... it's because Vrai doesn't insist on inserting herself and therefore a S/O into miserable interactions involving her mother. I remember watching that epiphany unfold.

 

[Larry Gude]

Vrai, your mother is intolerable, no? So why would anyone marry you?

I actually like my inlaws. It's just their daughter/sister that I cannot stand.

Her mom is not intolerable at all. If she's not your mom. Vrai has no issues with my dad but, he rubs me the wrong way.

While I can say, first hand, mother and daughter share some traits, Vrai has a self awareness her mom does not. So, you're inference is not a good one.

 

[LostNFound]

Im of the opinion that when many people are younger they fall deeply in love (or lust- or combo of both) and think nothing in the world matters. Not the opinion of their friends or family, not who likes whom beyond themselves and their significant other. Nothing. I remember in my younger years being told how a man treats his mother matters. Also- dysfunction runs in families... and assorted relationship tidbits like that. I also remember thinking I will make my own decisions and no one will tell me who to love and if their family sucks, well, thats just a sad aside to my life.

Luckily his family doesnt suck - but I say luckily- because now that I know better- the advice I had heard over the years I feel is solid. While I know no one young and in love will listen- I would HIGHLY recommend not getting too tangled up with someone whose family you're always going to want to avoid.

In a nutshell- youngins- they dont care, dont think it through and dont see the future - none of us do, but experience is a good teacher.

 

[Roman]

I was lucky because I loved my in-laws. My husband loved my Parents. Neither of which ever interfered on our relationship. I wish they were all still around.

 

[BadGirl]

I like my in-laws well enough. But I don't know them hardly at all.

I've only laid eyes on them twice in the nine years that Bob and I have been together, and we don't talk on the phone at all.

It's not that I don't like them, because they are fine people. I think distance and the fact that I'm a dreaded "second wife" probably influences them and their opinion of us as a couple.

Both of my parents are dead and never had the chance to know Bob, but if they had met him, they'd have loved him.

That my parents are gone, and Bob's parents are physically and emotionally distant makes me sad for our son, who really has no idea what it's like to have wonderful grandparents. Thank goodness my amazing sisters have pitched in to show him their grandmotherly love and attention.

 

[vraiblonde]

Heck, I can answer this... it's because Vrai doesn't insist on inserting herself and therefore a S/O into miserable interactions involving her mother. I remember watching that epiphany unfold.

That's right. My mom is only really intolerable to me (and actually she's quite pleasant since our little come to Jesus) but if my SO said, "Vrai, your mom ruins holidays for me and I'm not going over there anymore," I'd be like, "Cool! Let's go do something fun instead."