The neighbors kid

[StadEMS3]

My house used to be completely isolated by the trees/brush in the old railroad path. Now that the rail trail is being put in, all the trees were cleared and I see all my neighbors for the first time. One of the neighbors, a single mom, has a specials needs 14yr old kid that rides his lawn tractor all the time. Well, he found my house and comes over all the time asking for things, wants to go for rides in my Mustangs, follows me around, and asks tons of questions. He’ll get on his tractor, ride over to my driveway and just sit there staring at my house for a while then go home. Saturday, I was working in my garage, I heard the tractor coming, he pulled up, wanted to know if had paint for his tractor wheels, I gave him some then he wanted me to fix the mess he made while I was busy doing my things. Then he would follow me everywhere in my garage. Sunday he started riding his tractor to the backside of my house to see if he can see into my windows if I’m home. Last night at 8pm he’s ringing my door bell with his face pressed against the glass looking in. Being it was late I assumed something might be wrong, no, he just wanted more paint for his tractor. He's also asked for me to go over his house and fix things.

I can’t be mean to him and I try to be understanding but it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m being stalked and trapped in my own home. I cringe when I hear his tractor start up.

I really need some honest advice on this. I feel bad about the whole situation and I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[KevinSully]

My house used to be completely isolated by the trees/brush in the old railroad path. Now that the rail trail is being put in, all the trees were cleared and I see all my neighbors for the first time. One of the neighbors, a single mom, has a specials needs 14yr old kid that rides his lawn tractor all the time. Well, he found my house and comes over all the time asking for things, wants to go for rides in my Mustangs, follows me around, and asks tons of questions. He’ll get on his tractor, ride over to my driveway and just sit there staring at my house for a while then go home. Saturday, I was working in my garage, I heard the tractor coming, he pulled up, wanted to know if had paint for his tractor wheels, I gave him some then he wanted me to fix the mess he made while I was busy doing my things. Then he would follow me everywhere in my garage. Sunday he started riding his tractor to the backside of my house to see if he can see into my windows if I’m home. Last night at 8pm he’s ringing my door bell with his face pressed against the glass looking in. Being it was late I assumed something might be wrong, no, he just wanted more paint for his tractor. He's also asked for me to go over his house and fix things.

I can’t be mean to him and I try to be understanding but it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m being stalked and trapped in my own home. I cringe when I hear his tractor start up.

I really need some honest advice on this. I feel bad about the whole situation and I don't know what to do anymore.

I'd call his mother and set some boundaries. Specific times when he can come over, or only come over if invited. If you don't want him around at all, well that's your right too, but it seems like you want a more tolerable friendship.

 

[BernieP]

i'd call his mother and set some boundaries. Specific times when he can come over, or only come over if invited. If you don't want him around at all, well that's your right too, but it seems like you want a more tolerable friendship.

qft

 

[KevinSully]

qft

wtf?

 

[withrespect]

wtf?

Quoted for Truth.

 

[KevinSully]

Quoted for Truth.

I'm not savvy enough to get that. Thank you.

 

[withrespect]

I'm not savvy enough to get that. Thank you.

 

[bilbur]

Has one of his parents or a care taker, who ever is responsible for his care, ever come up to you to make sure he is not an inconvenience? I know, at least with kids that roam the neighborhood in my parents community, the kids parents would tell my parents to let them know if the kids are being a pain or overstepping their bounds. My parents have been told on more then one occasion to send the kids home if they don't want them there at a particular time. Boundaries had to be set with one of the neighborhood boys and they were told if none of the grandchildren are there then he was not allowed in the house or on certain parts of the property. Other than having to remind him of the rules on occasion the system seems to work pretty well. I would definitely go to the parents and maybe set up a system so his feelings don't get hurt. Get their number and call them if he is being a pain then have them call him back onto their property and let them make the excuse why he had to leave. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable on their own property, hopefully his parents understand that and don't guilt trip you into an arrangement you are uncomfortable with.

 

[Bann]

I'd call his mother and set some boundaries. Specific times when he can come over, or only come over if invited. If you don't want him around at all, well that's your right too, but it seems like you want a more tolerable friendship.

^This^

I hate that the kid isn't being supervised properly, but that is what it appears. It is quite likely he lacks appropriate social skills, and also has boundary issues. This is the perfect scenario for people to take advantage of him and that is disconcerting to me. I would talk to her, and ask if she realizes what he's doing. I hope she receives you well and is not nasty. If she is, then I would report her to CPS.

 

[FED_UP]

Yep, have a conversation with the mother so it will seem like it did not come from you, staring and peeking in the window is getting creepy. Furthermore explain to her that the kid is trespassing as well and you don't want the situation to get ugly. If the mother is a decent person she should understand. Also the kid has no father figure. I don’t know if you are a lady or man? I assume a man, anyway I think he wants that father figure attention. Someone mentioned boundaries, many teens these days don't give a shiet about boundaries especially if the parent is just as bad. He has gotten closer to your house because he was getting comfortable with you not chasing him away IMO. Next thing you know he will be sitting at your dinner table. You're doing the right thing, nip it in the butt now. I would think his mom would say ( little Jonny I see you going over that house too much and I would not want a kid bothering me like that, I don't want to see you in that yard except maybe once a week or that's your azz.)

 

[luvmygdaughters]

I agree with everyone else here. It makes me wonder why the mother hasn't approached you to see if her kid is welcome there. I mean no offense, but how does she know you're not some perv in the neighborhood. You gotta wonder about some parents.

 

[Bann]

Yep, have a conversation with the mother so it will seem like it did not come from you, staring and peeking in the window is getting creepy. Furthermore explain to her that the kid is trespassing as well and you don't want the situation to get ugly. If the mother is a decent person she should understand. Also the kid has no father figure. I don’t know if you are a lady or man? I assume a man, anyway I think he wants that father figure attention. Someone mentioned boundaries, many teens these days don't give a shiet about boundaries especially if the parent is just as bad. He has gotten closer to your house because he was getting comfortable with you not chasing him away IMO. Next thing you know he will be sitting at your dinner table. You're doing the right thing, nip it in the butt now. I would think his mom would say ( little Jonny I see you going over that house too much and I would not want a kid bothering me like that, I don't want to see you in that yard except maybe once a week or that's your azz.)

I referred to the lack of boundaries because, a lot of times, special needs people with developmental issues do have a problem recognizing personal space things and other types of things of that nature. Likewise, with peeking into a window. A child of 7or 8 maybe, but it's unusual to see that in a 14-ish yo. I would say they might be on the spectrum, or delayed in some way developmentally. In which case, it might seem creepy to US, but perfectly logical to them. If you can see in a window, you look into it. :shrug:

NOT condoning - just saying. I have had to teach my own son about things he doesn't "get" on his own, so I can see this as (maybe being) a similar thing.

 

[GWguy]

Besides everything everyone else has said about boundaries, I'd be real leery of him on a tractor on your property. He can cause damage to your things, or hurt himself. The legal ramifications are not something I'd want to consider.

 

[vraiblonde]

I'd call his mother and set some boundaries. Specific times when he can come over, or only come over if invited. If you don't want him around at all, well that's your right too, but it seems like you want a more tolerable friendship.

I think we're all unanimous that this is the best answer.

 

[3CATSAILOR]

Besides everything everyone else has said about boundaries, I'd be real leery of him on a tractor on your property. He can cause damage to your things, or hurt himself. The legal ramifications are not something I'd want to consider.

Obviously he wants some friendly company. You are correct though. If he becomes injured on her property, she would be subject to a law suit.

 

[StadEMS3]

Thanks all, his mother never set any boundaries or asked if he is bothering me. It appears he does the same to the houses on his street too. I only met her once when he got his legs stuck in deep mud and it took us a hour to get him out. It was total drama and they didn't even thank me. I'll go talk to her. He is every bit of 200+lbs, has a skin condition, wears sweat pants that are always falling down half his crack..just uncomfortable with the whole thing. (oh, Fed Up, I am a guy, lol)

 

[Tito]

Thanks all, his mother never set any boundaries or asked if he is bothering me. It appears he does the same to the houses on his street too. I only met her once when he got his legs stuck in deep mud and it took us a hour to get him out. It was total drama and they didn't even thank me. I'll go talk to her. He is every bit of 200+lbs, has a skin condition, wears sweat pants that are always falling down half his crack..just uncomfortable with the whole thing. (oh, Fed Up, I am a guy, lol)

Just pet him every so often and leave a bowl of water outside your garage,

 

[littlelady]

Thanks all, his mother never set any boundaries or asked if he is bothering me. It appears he does the same to the houses on his street too. I only met her once when he got his legs stuck in deep mud and it took us a hour to get him out. It was total drama and they didn't even thank me. I'll go talk to her. He is every bit of 200+lbs, has a skin condition, wears sweat pants that are always falling down half his crack..just uncomfortable with the whole thing. (oh, Fed Up, I am a guy, lol)

From your further description of the situation, it seems to me the parents don't want to be bothered, so they let their son roam the neighborhood; which keeps him out from under them. GW and 3CAT are right. The poor boy is a liability to the neighborhood. Maybe, a group of you could approach the parents and nicely, but firmly tell them it has to stop. I think even if you invited the boy over now and then, it wouldn't remain that way for long. Good luck with the situation.

 

[FED_UP]

I referred to the lack of boundaries because, a lot of times, special needs people with developmental issues do have a problem recognizing personal space things and other types of things of that nature. Likewise, with peeking into a window. A child of 7or 8 maybe, but it's unusual to see that in a 14-ish yo. I would say they might be on the spectrum, or delayed in some way developmentally. In which case, it might seem creepy to US, but perfectly logical to them. If you can see in a window, you look into it. :shrug:

NOT condoning - just saying. I have had to teach my own son about things he doesn't "get" on his own, so I can see this as (maybe being) a similar thing.

Understandable, could end up getting shot peeping in windows, that would not be good. Good thing Stad is taking action to smooth things out early.

Thanks all, his mother never set any boundaries or asked if he is bothering me. It appears he does the same to the houses on his street too. I only met her once when he got his legs stuck in deep mud and it took us a hour to get him out. It was total drama and they didn't even thank me. I'll go talk to her. He is every bit of 200+lbs, has a skin condition, wears sweat pants that are always falling down half his crack..just uncomfortable with the whole thing. (oh, Fed Up, I am a guy, lol)

I sort of figured that when you mentioned fixing things, if something needs fixing usually the man is called. I even looked at your profile to see if you had any curves.

 

[ginwoman]

Wow - what an unpleasant situation to deal with. I am so so so grateful to not have neighbors close by