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Thread: For Dale Earnhart Fans - She's A Keeper

  1. #1
    I Need a Life b23hqb's Avatar
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    For Dale Earnhart Fans - She's A Keeper

    THE REDNECK AND THE GORILLA:

    A small zoo in North Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

    Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

    Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.


    The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.

    Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
    The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

    "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

    "Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' t-shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

    "Third", he said, "You can't never tell nobody about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

    "Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

    And last, Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00."

    "In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress." John Adams

  2. #2
    INGSOC GURPS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by b23hqb View Post
    THE REDNECK AND THE GORILLA:

    A small zoo in North Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

    Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

    Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.


    The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.

    Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
    The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

    "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

    "Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' t-shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

    "Third", he said, "You can't never tell nobody about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

    "Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

    And last, Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00."

    Weíre tempted to suggest a conspiracy here ó but itís just liberals agreeing yet again that conservatives have hidden, evil motives, because modern liberals simply canít conceive of any other reason to disagree with the liberal consensus.

  3. #3
    You'd go to jail for this gemma_rae's Avatar
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    Nonsense, as if you could ever get Michelle to wear a Dale Earnhardt T-shirt? Puh-leez!
    Don't f**k with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo. ~ Joan Crawford

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