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Thread: Military stories no one would ever believe

  1. #41
    Awww, jeez Monello's Avatar
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    While I was at aircrew training in Pensacola we mustered and were told that there was a death at the pool the previous day. They told us not to talk to any press and if approached were told to tell them to contact the PAO.

    Kid tried to quit rescue swimmer school but was tossed back in the pool and had a fear induced heart attack. Things went back to normal until the local newspaper printed a detailed story of how the kid died. The navy was forced to investigate. A few heads rolled. An E-5 went to prison while the officers were acquitted.
    "Is Uncle Monello homeless?"

    Monello thinks he is king of the forum, now. Just keep that in mind.
    What bad thing did you do?

  2. #42
    INGSOC GURPS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsbob View Post
    He was awake when the tank settled enough to suffocate, but he couldn't get out of his bag.



    Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
    - Robert J. Hanlon.

    “There is a deeply anti-democratic undercurrent to much of the criticism of the new president, borne aloft by an assumption that democracy is too important to be left to the voters.”

    And if a statue can oppress you, then I submit that you have greater issues. - A West.

  3. #43
    Power Chord Homer J's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DoWhat View Post
    Waiting in the chow line on the hangar deck on board the USS Saratoga.
    A sailor walks over to one of the elevators that was up.
    Takes off his boots, steps over the stanchion cable and does a swan dive into the Mediterranean Sea.
    Now they call man over board and general quarters.
    Mess deck shuts down.
    I didn’t get to eat.
    When were you on the Saratoga? I was there 89-91. Wearing this at work today.

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    Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

  4. #44
    Quote Originally Posted by Homer J View Post
    When were you on the Saratoga? I was there 89-91. Wearing this at work today.

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    What year was it when the Saratoga accidently shot up the Turkish ship?
    Found it.
    1992
    http://www.nytimes.com/1992/10/02/wo...killing-5.html

  5. #45
    I bowl overhand itsbob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GURPS View Post
    87-88 Korea:

    one of the enlisted guys in an Infantry Company - out for an evenings fun in one of the local bars
    ... gets a STD from the hooker he spent the night with
    ... restricted to barracks while he gets cleaned up
    ... 6 weeks he was on lock down
    ... goes back to the same girl as soon as he is allowed and over night pass again

    ... gets the #### all over again
    When I was a Section SGT one of the Privates got crabs.. but didn't want to go to sick call for them (supposedly being told that it would go on his personal file and he'd never get promoted).. so these same BFFs told him to go get a canteen cup of diesel to soak his junk in... a known cure for crabs.

    So now I have private with crabs and serious chemical burns on his privates..
    Nero played the fiddle, Obama danced the Tango.

    Quote Originally Posted by BadGirl
    Bob is the bestest lookin and smartest man I've ever met.

  6. #46
    Visualize whirled peas Merlin99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsbob View Post
    When I was a Section SGT one of the Privates got crabs.. but didn't want to go to sick call for them (supposedly being told that it would go on his personal file and he'd never get promoted).. so these same BFFs told him to go get a canteen cup of diesel to soak his junk in... a known cure for crabs.

    So now I have private with crabs and serious chemical burns on his privates..
    We were in Subic Bay when A gang went out to play smile every one of them got the clap except one, he got rabies.
    ‎"I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake"

  7. #47
    I bowl overhand itsbob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merlin99 View Post
    We were in Subic Bay when A gang went out to play smile every one of them got the clap except one, he got rabies.
    They were playing Smile with a Raccoon??
    Nero played the fiddle, Obama danced the Tango.

    Quote Originally Posted by BadGirl
    Bob is the bestest lookin and smartest man I've ever met.

  8. #48
    I bowl overhand itsbob's Avatar
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    Worst one.. as an individual tragedy.

    Young Soldier was a ground guide for an M60 tank.. a LOT of rules when you are a ground guide.. like, never walk backwards.. never lose eye contact with the driver.. NEVER, EVER get between the tank and another obstacle/ vehicle Tank.

    Not 100% sure went wrong but the front edge of an M60 tank isn't a bumper, the 50 tons of metal comes to a sharp point, almost like a knife edge.


    On this day, a beautiful sunny day at Ft Knox Ky, everything that could go wrong did.

    This young soldier ends up getting pinned between the front edges of two tanks. Practically cut in half slightly above the waist, but alive and still conscious.

    They call the medics, who call the Emergency Surgeon who decides that there is nothing they can do.. as long as the tanks stay he'll live awhile, but as soon as they pull the tanks apart they will not be able to save this young man..

    The call goes out: Get his wife, let them say their goodbyes..

    The wife is found, brought to the motor pool where this VERY young couple (I don't know if they had any children, don't really want to know) got to say their goodbyes. The wife stayed, I know she was there, while they pulled the tanks apart and she watched her husband take his last breath.
    Nero played the fiddle, Obama danced the Tango.

    Quote Originally Posted by BadGirl
    Bob is the bestest lookin and smartest man I've ever met.

  9. #49
    INGSOC GURPS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsbob View Post

    This young soldier ends up getting pinned between the front edges of two tanks. Practically cut in half slightly above the waist, but alive and still conscious.

    I was going to mention this story, but I only had 2nd [5th, 20th who knows how many times it was retold] hand knowledge @ Fort Carson.
    It was brought up as a reminder not to be between vehicles when they are going to start up.
    Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
    - Robert J. Hanlon.

    “There is a deeply anti-democratic undercurrent to much of the criticism of the new president, borne aloft by an assumption that democracy is too important to be left to the voters.”

    And if a statue can oppress you, then I submit that you have greater issues. - A West.

  10. #50
    American Beauty RoseRed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsbob View Post
    Worst one.. as an individual tragedy. Young Soldier was a ground guide for an M60 tank.. a LOT of rules when you are a ground guide.. like, never walk backwards.. never lose eye contact with the driver.. NEVER, EVER get between the tank and another obstacle/ vehicle Tank. Not 100% sure went wrong but the front edge of an M60 tank isn't a bumper, the 50 tons of metal comes to a sharp point, almost like a knife edge. On this day, a beautiful sunny day at Ft Knox Ky, everything that could go wrong did. This young soldier ends up getting pinned between the front edges of two tanks. Practically cut in half slightly above the waist, but alive and still conscious. They call the medics, who call the Emergency Surgeon who decides that there is nothing they can do.. as long as the tanks stay he'll live awhile, but as soon as they pull the tanks apart they will not be able to save this young man.. The call goes out: Get his wife, let them say their goodbyes.. The wife is found, brought to the motor pool where this VERY young couple (I don't know if they had any children, don't really want to know) got to say their goodbyes. The wife stayed, I know she was there, while they pulled the tanks apart and she watched her husband take his last breath.
    How tragic.
    Quote Originally Posted by kom526 View Post
    Dear Baby Jesus lying in a crib in Bethlehem,
    I thank your divine intervention that I was not drinking anything when I read this post.

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