Page 1 of 7 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 67

Thread: Military stories no one would ever believe

  1. #1
    Giggity giggity! Misfit's Avatar
    Member Since
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Lusby
    Posts
    13,854

    Military stories no one would ever believe

    A co-worker and I were at the bar swapping stories, laughing about some of the crazy, unbelievable, things that happened while we were in the service and after a few hours I wondered if anyone had ever written any of that madness down…

    I remember sitting in the back of a military van while covering a jump where we watched a guy in our platoon’s parachute not open just like Wile E. Coyote…we ate his lunch.

    I remember a line of at least 20 guys outside the barracks in San Diego. I asked the guy at the end what the line was for and he said some girl wanted to see how many men she could do.



    I went to a party where some sailor was duct taped to a cross in the back yard and being force fed liquor. I wasn’t there long because I went chasing skirts, but he wasn’t at quarters Monday morning because he died.

    Trying to wave goodbye to the genie without spilling my 3 giant milkshakes

  2. #2
    Not exactly what they want shown down at the recruiters, is it?
    ADHD; Interdisciplinary

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Member Since
    May 2016
    Posts
    1,427
    #2 is exactly why I had to repeatedly remind my son never to date any women in the military. While I may just be an unenlightened old man, I have heard too many stories from too many people about how these ladies comport themselves once surrounded by hordes of horny single (or at least unaccompanied) young men.

  4. #4
    INGSOC GURPS's Avatar
    Member Since
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Peoples Republic Of Maryland
    Posts
    31,947
    Quote Originally Posted by Clem72 View Post

    .... heard too many stories from too many people about how these ladies comport themselves .....

    When I was @ Ft. Carson in 1985, the story goes:

    .... one guys wife was seen down at the enlisted club, while our unit was out on Field Training Exercises ....
    .... drunk on the dance floor pointing to this big brother, saying how she wanted him, and was going to have him tonight ....

    there were some interesting things that went on .....
    Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
    - Robert J. Hanlon.

    “There is a deeply anti-democratic undercurrent to much of the criticism of the new president, borne aloft by an assumption that democracy is too important to be left to the voters.”

    And if a statue can oppress you, then I submit that you have greater issues. - A West.

  5. #5
    Awww, jeez Monello's Avatar
    Member Since
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Canaryville AKA St. Monello
    Posts
    6,879
    Blog Entries
    7
    I'll try to keep this readable for civilians.

    Most of the story was told to me by some of the involved parties. The ship's engines use fuel injectors. These are usually serviced by contractors in port. The chief of the enginemen encourage his charges to procure extra injectors when the contractors were on board. They would take them out of their tool boxes when they were distracted. The chief would keep them in his locker and change them out when the ship was underway when they clogged up.

    So the chief leaves. The new chief tells the master at arms their is a theft problem. They open up a kids locker and find the stolen injectors. Kid claims he was just following the previous chief's orders. Kid goes to mast. He claims the chief engineer of the ship was aware of the arrangement. The chief engineer does a Sgt. Schultz imitation. Kid gets busted and restricted to the ship.

    A couple of weeks later the can't be found on board. Seems he either jumped overboard and swam to shore(unlikely) or at night he shimmied down the ship's lines unnoticed then hit the pier and ran(likely).
    "Is Uncle Monello homeless?"

    Monello thinks he is king of the forum, now. Just keep that in mind.
    What bad thing did you do?

  6. #6
    I bowl overhand itsbob's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Patuxent, Maryland, United States
    Posts
    40,866
    Blog Entries
    1
    Do you know the difference better a fairy tale and a war story?
    Last edited by itsbob; 01-17-2017 at 10:08 PM.
    Nero played the fiddle, Obama danced the Tango.

    Quote Originally Posted by BadGirl
    Bob is the bestest lookin and smartest man I've ever met.

  7. #7
    Visualize whirled peas Merlin99's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2006
    Location
    California, MD
    Posts
    12,811
    Quote Originally Posted by itsbob View Post
    Do you know the difference better a fairy tale and a war story?
    One starts "this is no ####".
    ‎"I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake"

  8. #8
    I bowl overhand itsbob's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Patuxent, Maryland, United States
    Posts
    40,866
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Merlin99 View Post
    One starts "this is no ####".
    Once upon a time

    versus

    You ain't going to believe this ####..
    Nero played the fiddle, Obama danced the Tango.

    Quote Originally Posted by BadGirl
    Bob is the bestest lookin and smartest man I've ever met.

  9. #9
    I bowl overhand itsbob's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Patuxent, Maryland, United States
    Posts
    40,866
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by GURPS View Post
    When I was @ Ft. Carson in 1985, the story goes:

    .... one guys wife was seen down at the enlisted club, while our unit was out on Field Training Exercises ....
    .... drunk on the dance floor pointing to this big brother, saying how she wanted him, and was going to have him tonight ....

    there were some interesting things that went on .....
    Fulda Germany.. young soldier finds out wife was having an affair while she was in the hospital giving birth..

    He delivers her boyfriends head to her.. freshly detached from his body.
    Nero played the fiddle, Obama danced the Tango.

    Quote Originally Posted by BadGirl
    Bob is the bestest lookin and smartest man I've ever met.

  10. #10
    Throwing the deuces RareBreed's Avatar
    Member Since
    Mar 2008
    Location
    On the out-skirts of persnickety
    Posts
    6,714
    Quote Originally Posted by Clem72 View Post
    #2 is exactly why I had to repeatedly remind my son never to date any women in the military. While I may just be an unenlightened old man, I have heard too many stories from too many people about how these ladies comport themselves once surrounded by hordes of horny single (or at least unaccompanied) young men.
    Former neighbor's daughter joined the Navy. She ended up not liking it and found out she could get kicked out for getting pregnant. That ended up being her mission and it was completed. This is the same girl who was so lazy, she'd back her car down to the end of the Court to get the mail and then drive back to the house. Her parent's house was the second one on our Court so the mailboxes were close by.

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Search:     Advanced Search
Search HELP

| Home | Help | Contact Us | About somd.com | Privacy | Advertising | Sponsors | Newsletter |

| What's New | What's Cool | Top Rated | Add A Link | Mod a Link |

| Announcements | Bookstore | Cafe | Calendar | Classifieds | Community |
| Culture | Dating | Dining | Education | Employment | Entertainment |
| Forums | Free E-Mail | Games | Gear! | Government | Guestbook | Health | Marketplace | Mortgage | News |
| Organizations | Photos | Real Estate | Relocation | Sports | Survey | Travel | Wiki | Weather | Worship |