Mandatory "Morale Building" Team events at work

[SamSpade]

I wasn't sure where to put this, but this is as good a place as any.

30 some years working as a professional - I have *ALWAYS* hated these. If you like your co-workers and work well with them, this accomplished nothing.
If you love your job - or utterly hate your job - this accomplishes nothing.
If you rarely interact with co-workers as part of your job - this accomplishes nothing.

I see nothing to be gained by this - and my job has a new wrinkle.....

They make them mandatory. If you have a vacation planned, if it's your day off, if it's your day to telecommute - too damned bad. You must come in to do lots and lots
of
*FUN*.

Yeah right. You want to improve morale? Bring back bonuses. Reward us with more than attaboys. Did a great job on that project? Give us all the day off.
Nothing crushes morale like treating us like sheep.

 

[Larry Gude]

"Zee beatings shall continue until zee morale improves..."

 

[SamSpade]

"Zee beatings shall continue until zee morale improves..."

They don't treat us *BAD*. They just don't reward us, and they are concerned that people don't bother to respond to surveys asking what they can do to improve, and that people largely don't show up to events intended to improve esprit de corps and they even GIVE AWAY stuff like ice cream or hot dogs. Workers aren't demoralized - they just don't care.

And I maintain it's the management thinking they must COMPEL us to have fun.

 

[stgislander]

I wasn't sure where to put this, but this is as good a place as any.

30 some years working as a professional - I have *ALWAYS* hated these. If you like your co-workers and work well with them, this accomplished nothing.
If you love your job - or utterly hate your job - this accomplishes nothing.
If you rarely interact with co-workers as part of your job - this accomplishes nothing.

I see nothing to be gained by this - and my job has a new wrinkle.....

They make them mandatory. If you have a vacation planned, if it's your day off, if it's your day to telecommute - too damned bad. You must come in to do lots and lots
of
*FUN*.

Yeah right. You want to improve morale? Bring back bonuses. Reward us with more than attaboys. Did a great job on that project? Give us all the day off.
Nothing crushes morale like treating us like sheep.

Your thread timing is great. My wife has a 5-hour mandatory "retreat" scheduled tomorrow... in Thurmont, MD!!! And she has a part time job!!! She'll be on the road longer than the retreat is being held.

 

[DEEKAYPEE8569]

They don't treat us *BAD*. They just don't reward us, and they are concerned that people don't bother to respond to surveys asking what they can do to improve, and that people largely don't show up to events intended to improve esprit de corps and they even GIVE AWAY stuff like ice cream or hot dogs. Workers aren't demoralized - they just don't care.

And I maintain it's the management thinking they must COMPEL us to have fun.

Have you ever been to a company picnic where required/mandatory training that you have to sign an attendance sheet, is to be held; or an awards ceremony? THAT'S how management "compels" folks to have fun. If you choose not to attend, you get smacked on the wrist for not attending the training. Me: 'Well, I didn't want to go to the summer picnic.' Supervisor: 'You missed the required training.' >:-o Me: :shrug: <:-|

 

[officeguy]

Memo:

Management is planning to do something to boost team morale and cohesion. Do you wish to

[ ] Attend a retreat 2hrs away and hear some expensive motivational speakers
[ ] Receive an unscheduled bonus of 2 days of your regular salary/hourly with the next paycheck

 

[SamSpade]

Your thread timing is great. My wife has a 5-hour mandatory "retreat" scheduled tomorrow... in Thurmont, MD!!! And she has a part time job!!! She'll be on the road longer than the retreat is being held.

You know, I still come back to the meme of the cargo cult - that thing that happened during WW2 where primitive tribesman were in awe of the technology shown by the US Navy, and when the planes left, they created bamboo planes and wooden headsets and went through the motions of landing a plane, but of course, the planes don't land - because they are imitating the visuals but contain none of the substance. They don't know why it works, but they think if they imitate it, they will get the same results.

I've seen this in my workplace through COUNTLESS cycles of software engineering where management thinks if they just follow the paperwork and processes of the software life cycle - the software will improve. If they just get everyone to account for all of their hours and tightly manage the accounting - that savings will result. And if they just do a few bread and circuses the people will LIKE it.

I've BEEN part of successful teams. I've occasionally been a part of bad teams. Mostly I've been a part of teams that pump out adequate work but it's clear the members don't care. And the don't care crew always seem to be the ones where extra effort is never rewarded, where ideas aren't entertained (even though they profusely say they will be), where promises of different kinds are routinely broken (a heads up to me - when management says "We will NEVER do this...", bet your whole fortune they will do it the moment it becomes convenient to do so).

I once had a manager send out a memo mandating compliance with something - and when he wanted to be emphatic, he put in all caps AND RED LETTERING. Later he said he didn't mean to be that way, but the damage was done. It's been years - no one likes the guy. We don't matter to him.

I'm not mad. Been in this business almost forty years and I am used to management coming up with "new" ways to improve things - long enough for stuff thirty years ago to come BACK as "new".
I just don't care.

 

[FED_UP]

Have you ever been to a company picnic where required/mandatory training that you have to sign an attendance sheet, is to be held; or an awards ceremony? THAT'S how management "compels" folks to have fun. If you choose not to attend, you get smacked on the wrist for not attending the training. Me: 'Well, I didn't want to go to the summer picnic.' Supervisor: 'You missed the required training.' >:-o Me: :shrug: <:-|

Training at a picnic, WTF, never heard of that one. Morale builder for sure.

Memo:

Management is planning to do something to boost team morale and cohesion. Do you wish to

[ ] Attend a retreat 2hrs away and hear some expensive motivational speakers
[ ] Receive an unscheduled bonus of 2 days of your regular salary/hourly with the next paycheck

I will take the pay, haha

 

[SamSpade]

Memo:

Management is planning to do something to boost team morale and cohesion. Do you wish to

[ ] Attend a retreat 2hrs away and hear some expensive motivational speakers
[ ] Receive an unscheduled bonus of 2 days of your regular salary/hourly with the next paycheck

This is what I don't get - see, I KNOW that my area gets a LOT of cash for stuff. I know that these little soirees they throw are chump change.
We have mandatory meetings that MAY be attended in person, or remotely from the desk.
Most people choose desk.

You want morale? Hand out 100 bucks to everyone who shows up in person and signs out at the end.
You'll get everyone in the building and it will just cost 10 grand. A pittance.

 

[Gilligan]

Your thread timing is great. My wife has a 5-hour mandatory "retreat" scheduled tomorrow... in Thurmont, MD!!! And she has a part time job!!! She'll be on the road longer than the retreat is being held.

Hmmm. That's what is missing around here. Ahma put together our own "Team Building" seminar/event. It will be great...so much winning. Morale will be through the roof.

 

[Wishbone]

... - long enough for stuff thirty years ago to come BACK as "new".

Those are always my favorites!

 

[Larry Gude]

Hmmm. That's what is missing around here. Ahma put together our own "Team Building" seminar/event. It will be great...so much winning. Morale will be through the roof.

I was just thinking what you'd do for moral building! Kegs, guns, BBQ, dance poles and CHARGE your guys $100 each to be able to attend.

 

[Gilligan]

I was just thinking what you'd do for moral building! Kegs, guns, BBQ, dance poles and CHARGE your guys $100 each to be able to attend.

That's a good start.... ;-)

 

[Larry Gude]

That's a good start.... ;-)

OK, fine. $200 .

And BYOAmmo

 

[GWguy]

The best morale builder I ever experienced was the day I retired. I hated those 'pep sessions' with a passion. I worked alone, the only member of my local 'team' at my site, all contacts to my peers was a weekly telecon. It was completely pointless to have team building exercises.

 

[DEEKAYPEE8569]

The best morale builder I ever experienced was the day I retired. I hated those 'pep sessions' with a passion. I worked alone, the only member of my local 'team' at my site, all contacts to my peers was a weekly telecon. It was completely pointless to have team building exercises.

So what did you do during these TBE's? Hide? Wait.....long lunches?

 

[RoseRed]

Training at a picnic, WTF, never heard of that one. Morale builder for sure.

"Training" so you don't have to take leave to attend the picnic.

 

[stgislander]

Hmmm. That's what is missing around here. Ahma put together our own "Team Building" seminar/event. It will be great...so much winning. Morale will be through the roof.

You want to see so much winning... just restocked the keg cooler in the Tiki bar. Now we're talking morale.



Just sayin.

 

[Grumpy]

"new" ways to improve things - long enough for stuff thirty years ago to come BACK as "new".

Just had someone in the past week come up with "Quality Circles" as a new thing...believe it was late 70s, early 80s thing.

 

[DEEKAYPEE8569]

"Training" so you don't have to take leave to attend the picnic.

The 'training" is usually shortly after the start of the festivities, because management knows most folks will grab a bite, do just enough "face time" to ensue a boss see's them; then slide out early.