"About a week ago, my father came to visit me at college and being the loving son that I am, while he was here I took him to every expensive looking restaurant in town and let him pay.
One night we went to a place called Tink's in the upscale gaslight district after catching a movie. Tink's is a really nice establishment, much too nice for college students, which is why we were easily the two youngest people in the place, outside of the attractive wait staff. It was a busy night and the place was filled with small groups of senile profs and their geriatric ilk. This was on about the 4th day of my father's visit so, after making fun of all the people with walkers or hearing aids, the conversation topics started to wear a tad thin. I decided to do what I always do in such situations, excuse myself and go to the restroom, because frankly sometimes a bit of silence is nice.
For being such a posh place, the men's room was disgusting, a single toilet floating in a sea of wet paper towels. I alighted upon the crapper and went to work at mustering a reason for being in there. After about a minute someone else tried to enter the room and, with my luck being what it is, it turns out the push button lock was purely ornamental. Low and behold in comes one of the shuffling grandpas with a walker. Evidently, he was the most senior senior in the place because he had the posture of a jumbo prawn and using his walker took such complete jedi-like mind focus that he didn't even see me. After a second I began to wave my hand and then politely and with ever increasing desperation exclaim, 'Um, excuse me, I'm in here already.'
This had no effect whatsoever and at this point, I realized that I had a twofer on my hands: walker and massive hearing aid, with the former working slightly better than the latter, and by that I mean at all. As a result of being completely deaf and staring directly at his own feet, he spent four minutes shuffling the three feet to the toilet before he noticed I existed, all the while with me protesting with all the effectiveness of a horror movie victim. But this gentleman was nothing but class, and when the circumstances finally dawned on him he had the quick thinking and reserve to loudly shout at the top of his lungs, 'Ahhhhh! Oh my goodness!' The wait staff ran over to look, thinking I assume that maybe he had fallen, and they had the decency to continue to monitor his safety through the open door for the following four minutes it took Mr. Greatest Generation to turn around and exit the bathroom. The entire time this was happening, I was still sitting petrified on the john with my pants down, and I swear, when he finally made it through the door he turned around and winked before closing it.
Well, at least for the rest of dinner my dad and I had something to talk about."