Board as a doctor, leave as a patient.

And you thought legroom was an issue

Early boarding, late boarding, water boarding, all the same with us.

If we cannot beat our competition, we beat our customers

We have a new meaning for "drag and drop"

After flying United, you'll never want to fly another airline again.

Eeny, Meeny, Miny Moe, which passenger has to go? Just issue a
hard head blow and they'll sure to let go.

Not enough seating, prepare for a beating

May the odds be in your favor

Where fists fly free

We have first class, business class, and no class

We have red eye and black eye flights

Fly the unfriendly skies

We have an offer you can't refuse. No really.

If we overbook, you'll catch a left hook.

The only airline offering carry-on luggage and carry-off passengers

We overbooked but you pay the price.

Not enough seating? Time for a beating.

We put the hospital in hospitality.

Volunteer or we'll make you volunteer.

New pamphlets in the seat pouch:

Please cover your head and brace yourself for a beating.

If you are in the aisle, please lean forward so we can beat
the person in the window seat.

We can re-accommodate you the easy way ... or the hard way.

Southwest Airlines Slogan: We beat the competition ... not you

We have the Sky Club and the Fight Club.

Did you want a window seat or a concussion?

Come for the seating, stay for the beating.

Beat it, beat it, beat it. No one likes to be deseated.

You can run but you can't fly.

Where the customer is never right, just beaten.

Now serving punch

You are now free to be thrown around the cabin

Though our prices are unbeatable, we can't say the same thing about
our passengers.

Now offering one free carry off

First beating is free, $25 for each additional beating

Your seat cushion can be also used as a defensive advice.

Jet lag isn't the only thing you'll need to recover from.

You carry on, we carry off

You can take the $800 for another flight, or risk it all for our
big surprise

The captain has turned on the no passenger sign

Unseat ... beat ... repeat.

Just imagine how we treat your luggage

Keep your feet out of the aisle, we need dragging room

She's got a ticket to ride, she's got a ticket to riiiide, she's
got a ticket to ride, and we don't care

We'll beat any price and customer

Welcome to our new fight club and express checkout services

Comply with us.