Page 2 of 30 FirstFirst 123412 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 297

Thread: I am the mother of "that child"

  1. #11
    Registered User lovinmaryland's Avatar
    Member Since
    Mar 2007
    Location
    on cloud nine
    Posts
    16,155
    Is this one of the children you've adopted from foster care? If so... This may sound cold hearted but have you thought of turning him back over to the state? For the protection of your other children.
    "You die and go to heaven, I'll stay here in Bermuda".

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by black dog View Post
    How come he hasn't been arrested for assaulting others and yourself and gone through the system and been placed in a institution where he can receive the help he needs.
    Cheltenham youth center is full of children like this.
    He has been arrested, multiple times - but his behavior isn't "bad enough."

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Gilligan View Post
    I admit it's all anecdotal (though some of it directly from the folks working in juvenile services) but I've heard Cheltenham referred to as "Future Repeat Offenders Academy" and "Future Criminals U".... When my youngest found himself in legal trouble a few years ago, his "parole counselor" made it pretty crystal clear that she wanted to help keep him out of Cheltenham at all costs.
    Yes, we're trying to get him help, and keep him out of jail - and worse influences - as long as we can, though I fully admit it's going that way.

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by vraiblonde View Post
    You certainly have an extreme situation and I'm not sure why anyone would want to "shame" you for something that isn't your fault, and that you're trying to deal with. There should be sympathy, not condemnation. I like to reserve my condemnation for those whose children aren't mentally ill and only need a firm parental hand that they're not getting.

    I have no advice for you, sounds like you've covered every avenue available. It's stupid that we don't have a mechanism to deal with situations like yours. The law says you have to wait until he injures or kills someone, then they'll treat it as a criminal offense and off to baby prison he goes.

    Are you medicating him? I didn't see that in your story, but it seems to me that the first thing they'd do is diagnose him and drug him up. <--That came off sounding harsher than I meant. Clearly he has a chemical imbalance in his brain, and that is typically treatable.

    Anyway, I'm sorry this is happening to you.
    Yep, the current hospitalization is working on med #8 (not all at the same time!)...meds keep getting heavier and in higher dosages. Potentially unavoidable, though it's not the life I want for him.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by inkah View Post
    You won't believe me, but I had the same.
    I did two things:
    1. Refused labels and medications and gave up (eventually)
    2. told him his past sucked more than most but that he had to chose to control himself. (This is a summary - I hate summaries)
    Two things happened:
    1. time passed
    2. he chose to control himself

    I've heard similar stories from others about boys this age range.
    Peace to you and your family :(.
    Unfortunately, he can't (or won't) deal with what happened before he came to us, so he doesn't even know why he's so angry. I truly believe that, until he comes to grip with his past, we can't move forward - and he can't do that safely in an unsecured setting.

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by lovinmaryland View Post
    Is this one of the children you've adopted from foster care? If so... This may sound cold hearted but have you thought of turning him back over to the state? For the protection of your other children.
    We have - doing research.

  7. #17
    Have you specifically asked the state or judge to place him in a treatment facility because you fear for your safety & the other kids safety?

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Lovely View Post
    Have you specifically asked the state or judge to place him in a treatment facility because you fear for your safety & the other kids safety?
    Haven't been in front of a judge yet - no idea how to do that, short of 1) him violating his probation or 2) us "abandoning" him, either at the hospital or with the police. As far as our family's safety - I am honestly not sure that factors in at all.

  9. #19
    Thank you all for your kind words - I honestly worried that someone would be critical, saying that I've overlooked a resource or am not trying hard enough or am a failure as a parent, or...

  10. #20
    Registered User lovinmaryland's Avatar
    Member Since
    Mar 2007
    Location
    on cloud nine
    Posts
    16,155
    Quote Originally Posted by foxxynhounds View Post
    We have - doing research.
    This is the route I'd go asap. If he's as bad as your telling us I'd also think your other children and yourselves will need some counseling to deal w/ the stress of all this
    "You die and go to heaven, I'll stay here in Bermuda".

Members who have read this thread: 204

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Search:     Advanced Search
Search HELP

| Home | Help | Contact Us | About somd.com | Privacy | Advertising | Sponsors | Newsletter |

| What's New | What's Cool | Top Rated | Add A Link | Mod a Link |

| Announcements | Bookstore | Cafe | Calendar | Classifieds | Community |
| Culture | Dating | Dining | Education | Employment | Entertainment |
| Forums | Free E-Mail | Games | Gear! | Government | Guestbook | Health | Marketplace | Mortgage | News |
| Organizations | Photos | Real Estate | Relocation | Sports | Survey | Travel | Wiki | Weather | Worship |