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Thread: The center square

  1. #1
    Awww, jeez Monello's Avatar
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    The center square

    People below a certain age won't understand these.

    Peter Marshall: True or false...there are more psychiatrists in Beverly Hills than plumbers.Paul Lynde: When my toilet's backed up, I don't care who fixes it.
    Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher recently stated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them both.” Who or what was he referring to?
    Paul Lynde: His fans.

    Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
    Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

    Peter Marshall: If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene?
    Paul Lynde: You mean he doesn't have the right part?

    Peter Marshall: According to Tony Randall, "Every woman I've been intimate with in my life has been..." What?
    Paul Lynde: Bitterly disappointed.

    Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?
    Paul Lynde: I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.

    Peter Marshall: What do you call a man who gives you diamonds and pearls?
    Paul Lynde: I'd call him "darling"!

    Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?
    Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!

    Peter Marshall: Fred Astaire says, his mother has been trying to get him to do this since he was 35. But he hasn't done it and says he won't do it until he's ready. Do what?
    Paul Lynde: Move out of the house!

    Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body—what is it?
    Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!

    Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor calls it 'the Big One.' What is it?
    Paul Lynde: They both look the same to me!

    Peter Marshall: Lana Turner recently said, "I won't do it because I haven't stopped living my life by a long shot." What won't she do?
    Paul Lynde: The Merv Griffin Show.

    Peter Marshall: Paul. a recent navy picture had Admiral Zumwalt kissing Admiral Duirk. Why?
    Paul Lynde: Too long at sea!

    Peter Marshall: When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a Geisha House, now how did he spent his time in the Geisha House?
    Paul Lynde: Negotiating for peace.

    Peter Marshall: Nathan Hale, one of the heroes of the American Revolution, was hung. Why?
    Paul Lynde: Heredity!

    Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul...during the time of the hula hoop, the yo-yo, and Davy Crockett hats, who was in the White House?
    Paul Lynde: I'll say the yo-yo.

    Peter Marshall: Glen Campbell recently stated, “Love to me is something you ..." Something you what?
    Paul Lynde: Purchase.

    Peter Marshall: Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
    Paul Lynde: Loneliness.

    Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
    Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

    Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
    Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    Peter Marshall: Who are more likely to be romantically responsive. Women under thirty or women over thirty?
    Paul Lynde: I don’t have a third choice…?

    Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
    Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

    Peter Marshall: Oh, Paul, what would we ever do without you?


    Paul Lynde: Replace me with Charles Nelson Reilly.
    Even if Donald Trump wins all the toss up states, he would still lose - R. Madcow 11/16

    Monello thinks he is king of the forum, now. Just keep that in mind.
    Be kind to the unhappy progressives and Democrats in your life.

  2. #2
    I Need a Life luvmygdaughters's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monello View Post
    People below a certain age won't understand these.
    Loved Hollywood Squares and Paul Lynde!! Used to love the Match Game too.

  3. #3
    Wow, SOME of those, I remember.

    (Incidentally - a picture is hung - a person - when talking about execution - is *hanged*. Maybe people say it a lot, but I always laugh).

    It does however, serve to confirm what they either said at the beginning of the show or during the closing credits - the stars were told the answers beforehand so they could come up with funny lines or a clever bluff.
    Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong". Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  4. #4
    Registered User PeoplesElbow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SamSpade View Post
    Wow, SOME of those, I remember.

    (Incidentally - a picture is hung - a person - when talking about execution - is *hanged*. Maybe people say it a lot, but I always laugh).

    It does however, serve to confirm what they either said at the beginning of the show or during the closing credits - the stars were told the answers beforehand so they could come up with funny lines or a clever bluff.
    Speak for yourself not being hung.
    If what I say offends you then you really don't want to hear what I keep to myself.

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