withrespect
:wr:
My husband has been away all week. When he got home last night at 9:45-ish, I was shampooing my son's carpet. When I explained to him WHY I was shampooing the carpet so late, he laughed hysterically. 
ANYWAY, I figured since I haven't shared a story in a while, I would vent here.
After work yesterday, my 6-year-old son asked if we could get some fruit from the store. He loves all fruits and vegetables so this wasn't a surprise to me considering he ate the last peach and the last banana in his lunch.
I get a 2 cantaloupe, a honeydew melon, some peaches, bananas, apples, and oranges.
Bubba is happy.
We get home and Bubba throws his lunchbox and backpack on the bench by the door (he goes to daycare during the summer) and hauls ass to his room. Ok, whatever... I didn't think much of it.
I unload the bags and head upstairs to change out of my work clothes. When I come downstairs, Bubba keeps coming out of his room, going into our computer room, and then running back to his room. I am still not concerned because I just figured he was getting his charger, or fidget spinners, or whatever random thing he left in there the day before. He comes in and out 3 times while I am cooking dinner.
About an hour passes and he comes out of his room with a scared look on his face. Upon further examination, I see seeds, and orange crap all over his shirt, in his hair, stuck to his sock, on his face, EVERYWHERE.
"Bubba, why are you covered in cantaloupe?"
He looks down and starts crying. "I exploded the cantaloupe like they did on YouTube."
"WHAT??!?!?!??!"
I run to his room to see what the HELL he is talking about.
To my HORROR, I walk in to see his bed, walls, carpet, stuffed animals, and TV COVERED in cantaloupe.
I ALSO see an orange, a tomato, and a squished banana with rubber bands wrapped around them.
(He was going back and forth from the computer room to get handfuls of rubber bands.) He pulled out his tablet and showed me the video.
I was pissed but also confused as to how he even knew about YouTube. And then I remember there are 3 other boys at his dad's house when he goes there. He is learning ALL SORTS of crap from them.
I give him a loud and long lecture about having food in his room and trying experiments like this that are OBVIOUSLY going to make a huge mess. I would have done the experiment with him OUTSIDE if he would have just asked me.
I tell him to start FINDING the huge chunks of cantaloupe all over his room and proceed to get a bucket of soapy water to wipe down the walls, his toys, his bedframe, etc. I had to strip the bed and put on new sheets (which I JUST did the day before)... and I break out the carpet shampooer.
I know I am still going to come home to an ant farm because there is going to be a rogue piece of cantaloupe somewhere.
This is my life. It's so beautiful.
ANYWAY, I figured since I haven't shared a story in a while, I would vent here.After work yesterday, my 6-year-old son asked if we could get some fruit from the store. He loves all fruits and vegetables so this wasn't a surprise to me considering he ate the last peach and the last banana in his lunch.
I get a 2 cantaloupe, a honeydew melon, some peaches, bananas, apples, and oranges.
Bubba is happy.
We get home and Bubba throws his lunchbox and backpack on the bench by the door (he goes to daycare during the summer) and hauls ass to his room. Ok, whatever... I didn't think much of it.
I unload the bags and head upstairs to change out of my work clothes. When I come downstairs, Bubba keeps coming out of his room, going into our computer room, and then running back to his room. I am still not concerned because I just figured he was getting his charger, or fidget spinners, or whatever random thing he left in there the day before. He comes in and out 3 times while I am cooking dinner.
About an hour passes and he comes out of his room with a scared look on his face. Upon further examination, I see seeds, and orange crap all over his shirt, in his hair, stuck to his sock, on his face, EVERYWHERE.
"Bubba, why are you covered in cantaloupe?"
He looks down and starts crying. "I exploded the cantaloupe like they did on YouTube."
"WHAT??!?!?!??!"
I run to his room to see what the HELL he is talking about. To my HORROR, I walk in to see his bed, walls, carpet, stuffed animals, and TV COVERED in cantaloupe.
I ALSO see an orange, a tomato, and a squished banana with rubber bands wrapped around them.
(He was going back and forth from the computer room to get handfuls of rubber bands.) He pulled out his tablet and showed me the video.I was pissed but also confused as to how he even knew about YouTube. And then I remember there are 3 other boys at his dad's house when he goes there. He is learning ALL SORTS of crap from them.
I give him a loud and long lecture about having food in his room and trying experiments like this that are OBVIOUSLY going to make a huge mess. I would have done the experiment with him OUTSIDE if he would have just asked me.
I tell him to start FINDING the huge chunks of cantaloupe all over his room and proceed to get a bucket of soapy water to wipe down the walls, his toys, his bedframe, etc. I had to strip the bed and put on new sheets (which I JUST did the day before)... and I break out the carpet shampooer.
I know I am still going to come home to an ant farm because there is going to be a rogue piece of cantaloupe somewhere.
This is my life. It's so beautiful.
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I bet you'll be glad when he "can elope".
I am not smart enough to think pumpkins. :kickingcanteloupes: