"The truth is that growing up with two mothers forced me to be confused about who I was and where I fit in the scheme of the world," said Fontana, then 23 years old. "And it became increasingly obvious as soon as I hit school. You would see every other child embracing who they are on mother’s or father’s day. They would be rejoicing and celebrating with their parents and family members."
"And there I was sitting back and wondering what is wrong with me, and why don’t I have that connection with my father?" she said. "Was he such a bad person that that could not be facilitated for me? That is damaging."
She continued, "As time went on and the lies went on – you know, ‘you don’t have a father,’ many different variations of just ‘you don’t have a father’ and ‘you’re not allowed to see your father,’ and ‘ you have another mother’ – as though that statement was enough to conceal the emotions inside me and offer me stability. The reality is that it just wasn’t enough."
"There’s not a moment I looked back and thought I did not crave that male stability and that father in my life," said Fontana. "When I was at age 11, I was finally allowed to meet my father. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt stable and at peace for what was probably the first time in my childhood."
Woman Raised by Lesbians: I Craved That 'Male Stability, That Father in My Life'
"And there I was sitting back and wondering what is wrong with me, and why don’t I have that connection with my father?" she said. "Was he such a bad person that that could not be facilitated for me? That is damaging."
She continued, "As time went on and the lies went on – you know, ‘you don’t have a father,’ many different variations of just ‘you don’t have a father’ and ‘you’re not allowed to see your father,’ and ‘ you have another mother’ – as though that statement was enough to conceal the emotions inside me and offer me stability. The reality is that it just wasn’t enough."
"There’s not a moment I looked back and thought I did not crave that male stability and that father in my life," said Fontana. "When I was at age 11, I was finally allowed to meet my father. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt stable and at peace for what was probably the first time in my childhood."
Woman Raised by Lesbians: I Craved That 'Male Stability, That Father in My Life'