I Craved That 'Male Stability

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
"The truth is that growing up with two mothers forced me to be confused about who I was and where I fit in the scheme of the world," said Fontana, then 23 years old. "And it became increasingly obvious as soon as I hit school. You would see every other child embracing who they are on mother’s or father’s day. They would be rejoicing and celebrating with their parents and family members."

"And there I was sitting back and wondering what is wrong with me, and why don’t I have that connection with my father?" she said. "Was he such a bad person that that could not be facilitated for me? That is damaging."

She continued, "As time went on and the lies went on – you know, ‘you don’t have a father,’ many different variations of just ‘you don’t have a father’ and ‘you’re not allowed to see your father,’ and ‘ you have another mother’ – as though that statement was enough to conceal the emotions inside me and offer me stability. The reality is that it just wasn’t enough."

"There’s not a moment I looked back and thought I did not crave that male stability and that father in my life," said Fontana. "When I was at age 11, I was finally allowed to meet my father. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt stable and at peace for what was probably the first time in my childhood."

Woman Raised by Lesbians: I Craved That 'Male Stability, That Father in My Life'
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
One of my friends, a gay man, is the bio father of a child with a lesbian couple. He is very much a part of the child's life and operates more as a fun uncle - which he's excellent at - rather than as a true parent (which the two women are very good at). None of this is a secret and it seems to work quite well. This child is so loved and wanted, and the moms aren't man hating crazies or anything like that, so the boy gets the male influence that he needs from a number of different sources.

I think many parental situations can be successful, but it depends on the parents and their stability. God knows we've all seen horribly dysfunctional hetero parenting situations. As for the woman in this piece, there are many kids who grow up without one of their parents for whatever reason. She's making this into a "raised by lesbians" thing, but honestly - had her parents divorced and her dad disappeared when she was young, she'd be in the exact same position. These cherry picked stories don't influence me with regard to same-sex child raising because I've seen just how much a hetero couple can screw up their kid.
 

Monello

Smarter than the average bear
PREMO Member
This isn't a blanket statement for all lesbian couple raising a child. I think this particular mother is missing the point by blowing the kid off when she had questions.
 
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