This isn't really about dating or marriage, it's about relationships in general. I should probably change the name of this forum...
Anyway, what I'm thinking about today is something Zig Zigler used to say in his seminars:
"You can have anything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want."
That is an adage that has served me well over the years because it's true that if you help people get what they want, they will typically in turn help you get what you want. The hardest part of that is figuring out what they and you want, because so many people really don't know what they want.
There are exceptions, though. Certain personality types, you can't be nice to them or you'll live to regret it. They see niceness or compromise as a weakness and will kick you in the teeth simply because they see you as beneath them and don't fear retaliation. Bullies are like that - you can't be nice to them because they'll see it as weak and victimize you even further. The nicer you are to them, the ####tier they will be to you. Conversely, if you smack them up - either verbally, emotionally, or physically - they suddenly get real compliant and can't grovel hard enough.
This facet of human behavior has always fascinated me because it seems to fly in the face of best interests. We see nice people get kicked around all the time by friends, family, spouses, kids, etc because they tolerate an infinite amount of bull####, which attracts the bullies in droves. Soft target. And we also see crappy people lauded and kowtowed to with flunkies galore hanging on their every word.
None of this is a new revelation, it's just what I'm thinking about today.
Anyway, what I'm thinking about today is something Zig Zigler used to say in his seminars:
"You can have anything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want."
That is an adage that has served me well over the years because it's true that if you help people get what they want, they will typically in turn help you get what you want. The hardest part of that is figuring out what they and you want, because so many people really don't know what they want.
There are exceptions, though. Certain personality types, you can't be nice to them or you'll live to regret it. They see niceness or compromise as a weakness and will kick you in the teeth simply because they see you as beneath them and don't fear retaliation. Bullies are like that - you can't be nice to them because they'll see it as weak and victimize you even further. The nicer you are to them, the ####tier they will be to you. Conversely, if you smack them up - either verbally, emotionally, or physically - they suddenly get real compliant and can't grovel hard enough.
This facet of human behavior has always fascinated me because it seems to fly in the face of best interests. We see nice people get kicked around all the time by friends, family, spouses, kids, etc because they tolerate an infinite amount of bull####, which attracts the bullies in droves. Soft target. And we also see crappy people lauded and kowtowed to with flunkies galore hanging on their every word.
None of this is a new revelation, it's just what I'm thinking about today.