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Thread: Grammar Bar Jokes

  1. #1

    Grammar Bar Jokes

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    A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

    A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

    An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

    Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

    A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

    Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

    A question mark walks into a bar?

    A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

    Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

    A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

    A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

    Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

    A synonym strolls into a tavern.

    At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

    A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

    Falling slowly, slowly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

    A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

    An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

    The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

    A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

    The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

    A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

    An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

    A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

    A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

    A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

    *Author(s) unknown

  2. #2
    Board Mommy vraiblonde's Avatar
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    "Too much agreement kills a chat."
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  3. #3


    There is hope for you...
    "Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it." - J. Stalin

  4. #4
    Awww, jeez Monello's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jazz lady View Post


    A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
    "Is Uncle Monello homeless?"

    Monello thinks he is king of the forum, now. Just keep that in mind.
    I do this #### all day long, deal with freaks and wackjobs - BM

    Veterans before illegals

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Gilligan View Post


    There is hope for you...
    :curtsy:

  6. #6
    Registered User Yooper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jazz lady View Post
    A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
    This I will not forget. Thank you!

    --- End of line (MCP)
    I'm with Flynn.

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