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Thread: Old Lazarus

  1. #1
    Registered User b23hqb's Avatar
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    Old Lazarus

    I come home and find the dog sitting on the porch covered with dirt and a dead rabbit next to him covered with dirt. I think, oh crap, that is one of the blue ribbon prize winners that my neighbors raise for show. I get all the dirt off the rabbit, no blood, just dirt, and sneak over into the neighbors yard and place the rabbit in an empty cage. A bit later, I hear the neighbor kids wailing and the mother screaming in the back yard. I rush over, ask them what's wrong and the mother pointed at the rabbit, said hysterically "the rabbit died and we buried it three days ago, and now it's back in its cage".

    Who knew?
    "In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress." John Adams

  2. #2
    You better not cry! gemma_rae's Avatar
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    He must have kicked all his dirt off.

    On a similar note;

    The two town drunks are drinking at the local bar when one realizes he was supposed to be home an hour before, "My wife is going to kill me" he proclaims. Trying to help, his buddy chimes in, "She probably won't kill ya, but you better go. Just take the short cut through the cemetery and you can be home in half the time! I go that way too but I'm going to have a few more first".

    So off goes the tardy drunk, but in his haste through the darkened cemetery he slips on the wet grass and falls into an opened plot and no matter how hard he tries he keeps slipping back in. His only hope is to cry out, " Help me, I'm cold and I'm wet!".

    Hours pass and true to his word here comes his drinking buddy, albeit completely inebriated. As he nears the plot he can hear the wailing of his friend and approaches cautiously until his buddy can see him and cries, "Help me, I'm cold and I'm wet!"

    "Well of course you are! You all ready kicked all your dirt off!"
    Don't f**k with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo. ~ Joan Crawford

  3. #3
    Registered User b23hqb's Avatar
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    Good one!
    "In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress." John Adams

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