Why I'm a Democrat

[Sparx]

What You Need To Believe To Be a Republican

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

 

[Pete]

How is the AFL-CIO these days? Are you working the Delphi deal? Maybe Delta airlines?

 

[Larry Gude]

What you need to believe to be a Democrat...

What You Need To Believe To Be a Republican

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

...all of this gibberish because the truth hurts too much.

 

[virgovictoria]

 

[dems4me]

What You Need To Believe To Be a Republican

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

Sparx!!! Did ya' get my PM?

 

[Pete]

Sparx!!! Did ya' get my PM?

A PM is probably not going to get through the tin foil helmet. Perhaps you could try zapping him with your radar detector.

 

[Kerad]

What You Need To Believe To Be a Republican

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

That's a good start!

 

[dems4me]

A PM is probably not going to get through the tin foil helmet. Perhaps you could try zapping him with your radar detector.

No he probably has a detector, detector detecting my detector And : he doesn't have a tin foil helmet

 

[aps45819]

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

Wasn't that instituted by a Democrat?

 

[Toxick]

What You Need To Believe To Be a Republican

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Ironically - it's posts like these that are the reason I'm NOT a democrat.

 

[tomchamp]

As a Democrat:

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand at any point in the pregnancy

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity and jobs.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady

17. You have to believe that after 40 years of trying, the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge, and that big government always knows better than you.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail; but a liar, sex offender and draft dodger belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe Mr. Clinton "did not have sex with that woman". (Try telling that to your wife or husband.

22. You have to believe Richard Nixon obstructed justice by having an 18 1/2 minute gap in one tape of his recorded conversations, but that it was only an innocent mistake that one year's worth of Al Gore's e-mails got erased. (And wouldn't you know that these e-mails of Al's just happen to be the ones subpoenaed by a White House committee and a federal grand jury in their continuing investigation of campaign finance abuses and other matters)


23. And lastly...... You have to believe Hillary's Rose Law Firm's billing records, under subpoena, could not be found for three years, but suddenly turned up on a coffee table in the White House.

 

[vraiblonde]

What you need to believe to be a Democrat:

Somehow, you have to believe that:
1. Jesus loves you, and wants you to show it by aborting your unborn child.

2. The United States should let the United Nations rule our country. I mean, who could do it better than the Ghanans and the Libyans?

3. "Standing Tall for America" means rioting in the streets whenever you don't get your way.

4. A woman can be trusted with decisions about
her own body, and somehow we've decided that a woman's child IS her own body to suck the brains out of as she sees fit.

5. Being a drug addict is the preferred method of dealing with your problems, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then
we'll do everything in our power to have you executed.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to
call them "baby killers".

7. Group sex and drug use are what you should be doing. If you're not doing these things, you're a prude and out of touch with reality.

8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex. And we want adolescents to have sex more than anything in the world. How else are we supposed to keep the welfare roles filled?

9. A good way to fight terrorism is to ignore it, because if we don't, they won't like us anymore.

10. HMOs and insurance companies are the saving grace of the health industry. I mean, look at Canada and how well it's working over there.

11. Providing health care to all Iraqis is stupid. We got rid of their leader - what more do they want?

12. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are real, no matter what the scientists say.

13. It's okay that Bill Clinton pardoned terrorists, campaign contributors and his own brother.

14. Saddam was a bad guy when Clinton lobbed a few missiles at him. Then he became a good guy when Bush did the same.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is to be expected. After all, EVERYONE lies about sex.

16. Government should limit itself to complete and total rule of the life of every American. Unless the President is a Republican. Then all government officials should resign and let the Democrats rule.

17. The public has a right to know exactly how many minutes George Bush spent in the National Guard, but no right to probe into Bill Clinton taking campaign money from the Chinese.

18. You support states' rights, unless that state wants to limit abortion. Then that state should be invaded, it's leaders killed and every citizen of that state should be "re-educated"..

19. What George Bush did in January of 2001 is of vital national interest. What Bill Clinton did in December of 2000 is irrelevant.

20. Trade with Cuba is wrong, unless we can trade Fidel Castro for George Bush.

AND 21. Voting Democrat is the ONLY way for blacks to get ahead. And by "ahead", we mean getting Democrats elected and putting money in Jesse Jackson's pocket.

BO-ring..... You could at least be original and post something we haven't already seen 6 bazillion times.

 

[dems4me]

: Y'all chased him away again :

 

[Mikeinsmd]

: Y'all chased him away again :

It was easy. Besides, he ran. If he had the brains to post something original that can't be torn apart by 7th graders, he'd hang out & spar. Instead, he's a

 

[Kerad]

Just knowing that Larry, Vrai, 2A, SHARAB, and tomchamp/JollyRoger/gay-prison-sex-bang-boy are Republicans are enough to make me a Democrat for life.

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Just knowing that Larry, Vrai, 2A, SHARAB, and tomchamp/JollyRoger/gay-prison-sex-bang-boy are Republicans are enough to make me a Democrat for life.

...and you're in such great company. Are you McKinnys hair stylist??

 

[Kerad]

...and you're in such great company. Are you McKinnys hair stylist??

You're just mad cause you feel left out...aren't ya!

OK...add Mikeinsmd too.

 

[Mikeinsmd]

You're just mad cause you feel left out...aren't ya! OK...add Mikeinsmd too.

I'm very proud to be a member of the common sense party. I'll profess my allegiance any day. Dems continue to make fools of themselves daily. I love it!!

 

[Kerad]

I'm very proud to be a member of the common sense party. I'll profess my allegiance any day. Dems continue to make fools of themselves daily. I love it!!

We've all seen what your party has accomplished since 2000. If you are proud of THAT record...then you are the eternal optimist. The perfect sheep.

I've said it before, and say it here again. Ignorance IS bliss.

While I'm here..I've noticed all of you have failed to mention the news of the day. I will mention it tomorrow.

Of course I already know your response.

"Baaaahhhhhh"

 

[Otter]

We've all seen what your party has accomplished since 2000. If you are proud of THAT record...then you are the eternal optimist. The perfect sheep.

I've said it before, and say it here again. Ignorance IS bliss.

While I'm here..I've noticed all of you have failed to mention the news of the day. I will mention it tomorrow.

Of course I already know your response.

"Baaaahhhhhh"

Duh...2000?? I believe there was a master at eff-ups in the White House all of 2000..or make that two..talk about sheep, you got the wool over your eyes from DU,methinks..Hows it feel to be used??