Ask A Ninja

pingrr

Well-Known Member
If there are any questions anyone would like to ask a ninja please ask.


Here are a few basic facts about Ninja's

Ninja don't sweat. Not even during ninja sex. Ever.
Bullets can't kill a ninja. Even 1 million bullets can not kill a ninja.
The Fart of a Ninja is a million times deadlier than the venom of a rattlesnake. With the right wind, a single fart can wipe out a small village.
Ninja invented skateboarding.
Only a ninja can kill a ninja. Regular humans are useless against a ninja.
Ninja never wear headbands with the word "ninja" printed on them.
Ninja can breath underwater anytime they want.
Ninja can change complete wardrobes in less than 1 second.
Ninja don't smoke, but they do use smoke bombs.
Ninja always land on their feet. If they don't have feet they will land on their nubs.
Ninja invented the internet. All of it.
Ninja don't eat or drink very much, and they never have to go to the bathroom.
Ninja always move to America when making a new start as a non-assassin.
Ninja don't play sports. Unless killing is a sport. They always win.
Ninja can crush golfballs with 2 fingers, any two fingers.
Ninja have a bad temper when they lose at anything. They will usually cut off the winners head before they have time to brag.
Ninja lie all the time. Even when the truth serves better, ninja will lie anyway.
Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always. Curves are for girls.
Whenever a ninja masturbates people get hurt.

If there is anything else about the art on Ninjitsu please let me know. I am a Ninja so I am speaking from experience..
 
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morganj614

New Member
pingrr said:
Whenever a ninja masterbates people get hurt.

If there is anything elso about the art on Ninjitsu please let me know. I am a Ninja so I am speaking from experiance..

What does this have to do with Life In Southern Maryland? :confused:
 
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pingrr

Well-Known Member
morganj614 said:
What does this have to do with Life In Southern Maryland? :confused:

I am a Ninja living in SOMD. If there are any questions I woul dbe happy to answer them. If I posted this in the wrong section somone can move the post.
 

nomoney

....
pingrr said:
I am a Ninja living in SOMD. If there are any questions I woul dbe happy to answer them. If I posted this in the wrong section somone can move the post.

no you move it
 
pingrr said:
I am a Ninja living in SOMD. If there are any questions I woul dbe happy to answer them. If I posted this in the wrong section somone can move the post.
I have some pesky Samurai that keep trying to take my village and people from under my ruling fist. As a ninja I know you are sworn enemies of the Samurai and would like to ask for you assistance in dealing with these minor annoyances.
 

pingrr

Well-Known Member
Here are some examples of Ninja Etiquette

Ninja never bring a gun to a sword fight. Ninja don't use guns. Ever.

The only way to end a ninja clan is to break the head ninja's sword.

Ninja never show their real face. If the need to show a face arises, it should be a very shiny mask. This is the only possible substitute.

Bullets can't kill a ninja. Even 1 million bullets can not kill a ninja.

When attacking a single ninja with a clan of ninja (more than 4, less than that is only a posse), it is proper ninja etiquette to fight with only one ninja at a time. This makes for a much nicer fight to the death.
NOTE: if you are planning to fight the mack daddy ninja, be sure to bring lots of lesser ninja to warm him up for your grand entrance.

When fighting with bow and arrows, a proper ninja will always destroy his bow if one of his arrows is cought in mid-air, and then broken over one knee of another ninja.

Ninja stars and sake are a perfectly good currency for ninja payments.

Ninja always use 4 pointed ninja stars. The fancy stars with more than for
points are for the lesser ninja.

Ninja can only use their special dissapearing powers in combination with a smoke bomb. This is not negociable.

When training with other ninja, it is proper to group off into different colors. Stay with your color at all times! Failure to keep with your color results in a circle kicking, where you are in the center of the circle.

Ninja always wear tabi boots. Even when they sleep.

When confronting other ninja, always try to wear a different color than that of the ninja you are attacking. It is proper ninja-ettiquette to give "home" color to the defending ninja.

Ninja don't sleep. I know I said they do above, but I lied.

It's expected that ninja will lie from time to time.

When encountering large falls and leaps it is appropriate to always give the right-of-way to the first ninja to jump.
With that said it is equally appropriate to give the needed time and space for the following ninja to jump and catch up.

Ninja never wear headbands with the word 'ninja' printed on them. This would be a dead give away when trying to blend in. NOTE: Sometimes as a joke the elder ninja make the geek of the clan wear such a headband. Sort of like a "dunce" cap.
 

pingrr

Well-Known Member
nomoney said:
did you used to play dungeons and dragons at the gaming store on friday nights?

Ninjas fight all the time. They do not play dungeons and dragons. A ninja would be out choping heads off instead pretending by playing some stupid game.
 

chernmax

NOT Politically Correct!!
pingrr said:
False. Ninjas never have to use the bathroom.

Explains why you're so full of it!!! :coffee:

But again, you made me laugh...

Ninja baby... <img src="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b31/chernmax/Avatars/avatar152_21.gif">
 
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