Chinese Fortune Cookies

OrneryPest

lower life form
My wife and I just got back from dining at China Harbor in Solomons. Hey, folks, it's walking distance so we can have as many of their generous drinks as we want to without contributing to Our Fair Isle's already generous reputation as Drunk Driving Capital of the World.

As usual, the food was absolutely the greatest and service was a trifle rushed at one point (in the China Harbor tradition, of course) but otherwise great. We had Hong Kong Shrimp and Eggplant in Garlic Sauce, both of which were great.

But anyhow, the fortunes in the fortune cookies seriously need a real makeover. Mine was, "You could prosper in the field of medical research." Hey, folks, I'm a retired rocket scientist and I've already done all the prospering I'm gonna do in a field vastly adrift from medical research!

My wife's fortune was, "Handsome is that handsome does." Er, ah, okay, whatever.

One of these days I'm gonna go into business making Misfortune cookies. Stuff like, "The Smithsonian Institute will soon discover that you are the world's first living proof that cave men performed acts of carnal knowledge upon slime molds." Or maybe, "The fleas of a thousand camels will soon pitch their tents amongst your eyelashes." Or perhaps, "You will be forced to watch one hundred reruns of the Green Bay Packers trouncing your favorite team 376-to-Zero."

Hey, don't you think that'd sell? At least it'd give the customers a good laugh!
 

Nickel

curiouser and curiouser
OrneryPest said:
"You will be forced to watch one hundred reruns of the Green Bay Packers trouncing your favorite team 376-to-Zero."
That's not misfortune! Brett Favre is delish!
 

OrneryPest

lower life form
I'll hafta think about that. Maybe the PIN numbers of Bill Gates's or J. Paul Getty's ATM accounts or something like that.
 

camily

Peace
OrneryPest said:
I'll hafta think about that. Maybe the PIN numbers of Bill Gates's or J. Paul Getty's ATM accounts or something like that.
Sounds like a great little business then :yay: Good luck! :lmao:
 

fttrsbeerwench

New Member
I love fortune cookies.....


When ever you open one up... Finish off your profound fortune with the phrase, "in bed. "


:lmao: They all sound better that way!

"You could prosper in the field of medical research, in bed." :twitch:
"Handsome is that handsome does in bed." :confused:

:killingme:
 
L

ladylara

Guest
i had take out from there last night. yummy shrimp fried rice and egg drop soup! i like what they've done with the front of the building!

my cookie was lame. i agree - they need to spice it up. maybe something mysterious... "there is a fat man on the corner, tell him the goose flies east at sunset" or "you know what you did. now go do something about it"
 

OrneryPest

lower life form
Or maybe something like: "A queer dwarf with bad breath and smelly armpits will fall hopelessly in lust with you."
 

camily

Peace
OrneryPest said:
Or maybe something like: "A queer dwarf with bad breath and smelly armpits will fall hopelessly in lust with you."
Why do I see a new Tonio siggy in there?
 

Nickel

curiouser and curiouser
OrneryPest said:
And here I thought my very own wife was the only Packers fan in this part of the country.
Oh, I'm not a Packers fan, I don't like football.
 

OrneryPest

lower life form
Nickel said:
Oh, I'm not a Packers fan, I don't like football.

Hey, no problem! I know absolutely nothing about football. I hope all the teams do lotsa nice Home Runs, or whatever they do.

My wife is from Wisconsin so her relatives keep me well supplied with Packers fan goodies and I don't even know what to do with most of the stuff.
 

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
camily said:
Why do I see a new Tonio siggy in there?
:lol:

camily said:
How shall I describe Tonio? A queer dwarf with bad breath, stinky armpits, delirium tremens, and a "So Sue Me" tattoo on his pot belly. I slapped him upside the head when he told me how nice my hair smelled.
 
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