tater
New Member
Just a joke, don't wanna offend any Texans (you know how they get)
Things You'll Never Hear a Texan Say
1 "I'll take Shakespear for 1000, Alex."
2 "Duct tape won't fix that."
3 "Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael."
4 "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."
5 "We don't keep fire arms in this house."
6 "Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?"
7 "You can't feed that to the dog."
8 "I thought Graceland was tacky."
9 "No kids in the back of the truck, its not safe."
10 "Wrasslin's fake."
11 "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?"
12 "We're vegetarians."
13 "Do you think my hair is too big?"
14 "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy."
15 "My bonsai trees need watering."
16 "Who's Richard Petty?"
17 "Give me the small bag of pork rinds."
18 "Deer heads detract from the decor."
19 "Spitting is such a nasty habit."
20 "I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today."
21 "Trim the fat off that steak."
22 "Cappuccino tastes better than espresso."
23 "The tires on that truck are too big."
24 "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad."
25 "I've got it all on floppy disk."
26 "Unsweetened tea tastes better."
27 "Would you like your fish poached or broiled?"
28 "My fiance, Paula Joe, is registered at Tiffany's."
29 "I've got two cases of Zima for the superbowl."
30 "Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams."
31 "Checkmate."
32 "She's too old to be wearing a bikini."
33 "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?"
34 "Hey, here's an episode of ''Hee Haw'' that we haven't seen."
35 "I don't have a favorite college team."
36 "Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side."
37 "I believe you cooked those green beans too long."
38 "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'."
39 "Garth Who?!"
Things You'll Never Hear a Texan Say
1 "I'll take Shakespear for 1000, Alex."
2 "Duct tape won't fix that."
3 "Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael."
4 "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."
5 "We don't keep fire arms in this house."
6 "Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?"
7 "You can't feed that to the dog."
8 "I thought Graceland was tacky."
9 "No kids in the back of the truck, its not safe."
10 "Wrasslin's fake."
11 "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?"
12 "We're vegetarians."
13 "Do you think my hair is too big?"
14 "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy."
15 "My bonsai trees need watering."
16 "Who's Richard Petty?"
17 "Give me the small bag of pork rinds."
18 "Deer heads detract from the decor."
19 "Spitting is such a nasty habit."
20 "I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today."
21 "Trim the fat off that steak."
22 "Cappuccino tastes better than espresso."
23 "The tires on that truck are too big."
24 "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad."
25 "I've got it all on floppy disk."
26 "Unsweetened tea tastes better."
27 "Would you like your fish poached or broiled?"
28 "My fiance, Paula Joe, is registered at Tiffany's."
29 "I've got two cases of Zima for the superbowl."
30 "Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams."
31 "Checkmate."
32 "She's too old to be wearing a bikini."
33 "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?"
34 "Hey, here's an episode of ''Hee Haw'' that we haven't seen."
35 "I don't have a favorite college team."
36 "Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side."
37 "I believe you cooked those green beans too long."
38 "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'."
39 "Garth Who?!"
