Recent content by GopherM

  1. GopherM

    Bubba Goes To Mass

    Bubba showed up at Mass one Sunday, and the priest nearly fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life except for funerals and weddings. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, “bubba, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" Bubba said, "I...
  2. GopherM

    BULLFROGS & BJERS

    (Hope this doesn't get me banned or a time out) A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she really didn't want to spend a fortune. 'Well,' said...
  3. GopherM

    The Whole Truth

    At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole...
  4. GopherM

    Yoga

  5. GopherM

    New Driver's License Requirement?

    That was probably true several years ago but since then the federal ID requirements have changed causing states to adopt new rules to prove positive identity to acquire a driver's license or state-issued identity card. Some of it has to do with making the cards more difficult to counterfeit...
  6. GopherM

    New Driver's License Requirement?

    I think all states are moving to licenses that are federally recognized forms of ID. When we moved to GA we had to have birth certificates, documents to prove our SSN (they accepted a valid tax return), our passport (if you have one), and proof of residence. So it was not as simple as giving...
  7. GopherM

    Ornery Game Warden

    A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like hillbillies. The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and...
  8. GopherM

    Wanna know what I think?

    Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary...
  9. GopherM

    Wedding Planning

    Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89), living in The Villages, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way, they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter, “Are...
  10. GopherM

    Flowers

  11. GopherM

    Stud Fee

  12. GopherM

    Investment by the Wife …

    The lawyer says to the wealthy "art collector" business tycoon: “I have some good news and, I have some bad news….” The tycoon replies: "I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first?" The lawyer says: “Well your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures this week that she thinks are worth...
  13. GopherM

    Sezmee Street

  14. GopherM

    All night long,,,all night...all night

  15. GopherM

    ARROGANCE OF OLD AGE.......

    Yesterday morning I bought two six-packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store. I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home. I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. It was very warm and she was wearing...
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