SmallTown
Football season!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road????
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed
access to the other side of the road.
JACQUES CHIRAC
We will veto any resolution regarding non-compliance of the chicken
whether it
has or has not crossed the road!
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication.
We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens
to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases
like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The
chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
AND, MORE chicken answers:
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
PANCHO VILLA
Chickens? We don't need no stinkin' chickens!
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed
access to the other side of the road.
JACQUES CHIRAC
We will veto any resolution regarding non-compliance of the chicken
whether it
has or has not crossed the road!
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication.
We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens
to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases
like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The
chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
AND, MORE chicken answers:
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
PANCHO VILLA
Chickens? We don't need no stinkin' chickens!
