You might be a Redneck if.....

[(((echo)))]

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. jameo this applies to you

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines. "

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

 

[OrneryPest]

18. Your pickup truck is jacked up so high you can walk under it without stooping.

19. You think "paper or plastic" refers to your choice of luggage.

20. You've got a three-week-old rotting deer carcass strapped to the front fender of your pickup truck.

 

[Jameo]

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. jameo this applies to you

Well I only put $20 in it at a time cause at any minute she is gonna fall apart on me

 

[calamity jane]

Somebody says "Hoedown" and your wife falls on the ground.

 

[(((echo)))]

Well I only put $20 in it at a time cause at any minute she is gonna fall apart on me

I just gagged on my tato chips

 

[Mousebaby]

18. Your pickup truck is jacked up so high you can walk under it without stooping.

19. You think "paper or plastic" refers to your choice of luggage.

20. You've got a three-week-old rotting deer carcass strapped to the front fender of your pickup truck.

21. Your shotgun in your truck cost more then your trucks worth!

 

[Sheardelight]

Your daddy's name is Bucky!!

 

[SLIM]

21. Your shotgun in your truck cost more then your trucks worth!

22.You bought your wife earrings for an anniversary present that doubles as fishing lures!
23. Your 2yr old has more teeth than you do!

 

[SLIM]

24)You have to cut your grass to find your truck!

 

[Dutch6]

24)You have to cut your grass to find your truck!

25. Your rich uncle ivites you over to help take the wheels of his new house.

 

[Mousebaby]

25. Your rich uncle ivites you over to help take the wheels of his new house.

26. If your able to raise your own worms in the bed of your truck.

 

[Kain99]

Ya might be a redneck if ya let your 9 year old niece fall face first in your brand neww fru-fru garden pond!

 

[czygvtwkr]

If you wake up with redman in your hair

 

[SLIM]

26. If your able to raise your own worms in the bed of your truck.

27. If you've never been to bed with an ugly woman but you've waken up with a few!


S#it happens don't it?

 

[unixpirate]

Who's your daddy :shrug:

:fixed:



Oh, sorry wrong thread.

 

[RadioPatrol]

if the engine in your car is made up of parts from 3 others ............

(actually did this to my mom some yrs a go when we put a rebuilt motor in her 88 Plymouth Grand Voyager) I have some parts off the original motor and parts from a 3rd from an 88 New Yorker)

later Jeff Foxworthy came out with that one ...........

 

[High EGT]

25. Your rich uncle ivites you over to help take the wheels of his new house.

If your Mom keeps a spit cup on her ironing board.

 

[Mousebaby]

If your Mom keeps a spit cup on her ironing board.

If your cousins favorite pet is a rooster named Cracker!

(oh wait, that's for real! Maybe I shouldn't have shared this tidbit of info )

 

[Cowgirl]

Well I only put $20 in it at a time cause at any minute she is gonna fall apart on me

When I wrecked my Jeep it had a full tank of gas. There was $60 down the drain.

I asked the adjuster if she took that into consideration when she appraised it. She didn't.

 

[bohman]

If you sight in your new rifle on the stop sign down the street...