15 things never to say when arguing with a woman

Kyle

Kyle

Beloved Misanthrope
PREMO Member
When you are arguing with the woman you love, be sensitive,
restrained...and don't say anything stupid. There are times, your life just might depend on it.



1. "Don't you have some laundry to do, or something?"

2. "No, really, I was laughing about...this joke I heard one time."

3. "Ooh, you are so cute when you get all upset."

4. "You're just upset because your caboose is starting to spread."

5. "Wait a minute, I get it... What time of the month is it?"

6. "Are you gonna cry? {Force lip to quiver mockingly}

7. "You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?"

8. "Sorry, I was just picturing you naked."

9. "That reminds me. Next time you go to the store, could you add 'giant cork' to the shopping list?"

10. "Whoa, time out honey, Frasier's back."

11. "Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning."

12. "Is there anyway we could do this via e-mail?"

13. "Hey baby-if I want a lecture about commitment, I can get one from my real wife."

14. "I could so use some oral sexual stimulation right now."

15. "Whom are you kidding? We both know that thing isn't loaded."
 
BuddyLee

BuddyLee

Football addict
Kyle said:
When you are arguing with the woman you love, be sensitive,
restrained...and don't say anything stupid. There are times, your life just might depend on it.



1. "Don't you have some laundry to do, or something?"

3. "Ooh, you are so cute when you get all upset."

4. "You're just upset because your caboose is starting to spread."

5. "Wait a minute, I get it... What time of the month is it?"

6. "Are you gonna cry? {Force lip to quiver mockingly}

14. "I could so use some oral sexual stimulation right now."
Click to expand...
Used these plenty, I'll be sure to try the others for this will ensure my doom.:yay:
 
Tonio

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
:killingme

16. "Your sister has a bigger rack than you."

17. "Your sister is a better lay than you."

18. "Hey, last night you were moaning my name in ecstasy."

19. "I heard that Tonio gives you the screaming thigh sweats."
 
Dupontster

Dupontster

Would THIS face lie?
The Guys' Rules or The Do What Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 
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