Teen Pregnancy Prevention in St Marys

[Heretic]

Ever since Ive moved here Ive noticed the most teenage girls with babys of anywhere that I have ever lived. A good friend of mine now has a pregnant 14 year old that was always a good kid. I wonder is this county doing enough, or anything to help prevent this?

 

[Heretic]

It sure seems higher here. The county could do a little thing called education.

Let me edit this a bit cause it didnt come out right.

Ok I also believe the parents are ultimately responsible and believe in accountability for ones actions, but due to the fact that this is happening to people who are not legally responsible adults yet the county will end up supporting them etc etc and if the county can do anything to lessen this it should agressively persue it.

Teaching abstinance might have been ok in 1950 where the same of being an unwed mother pretty much prevented it but today there is no shame (nor should there be). So they need to teach preventive methods, make them available, but highly encourage abstinance.

 

[Ken King]

Originally posted by Heretic
Ever since Ive moved here Ive noticed the most teenage girls with babys of anywhere that I have ever lived. A good friend of mine now has a pregnant 14 year old that was always a good kid. I wonder is this county doing enough, or anything to help prevent this?

Pregnant 14 year old does not equal a good kid. She was obviously doing things in a way to keep the parents from noticing her (unless we are talking rape here).

The school system teaches sex-ed and the health department will give them free condums, isn't that enough (sarcastic)? I think her parents let her down.

 

[Heretic]

Ken I would normally think that, however knowing her mother I know that isnt the case.

The girl did it to please a guy....she had low self esteem (slightly handicapped wanted to fit in) This girl cleaned the house top to bottom for her mom and would often fix the family dinner.

 

[Ken King]

Originally posted by Heretic
This girl cleaned the house top to bottom for her mom and would often fix the family dinner.

What does this have to do with anything? Many kids live one life at home and another when out amongst their friends.

Do you know if the Mom ever had the discussion with her child about what all us guys want from a girl and the consequences of giving in to that pressure?

 

[Athena1078]

I never had a sex talk with my parents. My dad tried once. It consisted of "We know you are older now, and seeing boys. Your mom and I don't want to see you turn out like Krissy(who was 16 with a baby) or Aunt Laurie (who has HIV)." I said, "I know dad." That was that. I really think a lot of times it has to do with the children, and how much they respect their parents. I knew that if I were to be a teen age mom they would have been very disappointed in me, and I didn't want that.. I am 25 now, and still the thought of having a baby out of wedlock bothers me, knowing my parents would be disappointed. A lot of the girls around here give in to peer pressure, if one girl is going to have a baby, sometimes her friends will follow suit, because it would be "really fun to have kids the same age."

 

[Heretic]

Ken that I dont know.

But my whole point to the topic was why is there so much of that here.

I moved here from what some would consider backwoods or the south where you would expect that sort of thing but it was actually less prevelant there than it is here. Here you have a higher household income, a greater percentage of high school students going to college, and higher SAT scores....things that generally are a pretty good predictor of things like this.

 

[vraiblonde]

This is my worst nightmare - with 3 daughters, the odds are stacked against me. So I'm not going to pass judgement on your friend lest I jinx myself.

But I'm not sure how you can say the county needs to do something? They already have extensive sex ed, with an emphasis on abstinence, and birth control is readily available. What more can they do?

today there is no shame (nor should there be)

I disagree with that. I think there should be enormous shame attached to teen pregnancy. I don't think they should be allowed to attend public school and I think social workers should make them feel like dirt when they go to pick up their welfare check. When something loses its stigma, it becomes more prevalent.

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by Athena1078
I really think a lot of times it has to do with the children, and how much they respect their parents.

God, I hope so! Our kids fear disappointing us and we like to keep it that way.

Some hoochie that goes to school with our 13 year old was out sucking face with her boyfriend in the parking lot after a school function. Her mother is the President of our PTA and was right there at the event. When Larry's ex-wife passed them, she made a remark and the kids didn't even come up for air. Then she flashed her car lights on them and that didn't even phase them. This kid obviously had no fear of her Mom seeing her or finding out.

 

[Oz]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
But I'm not sure how you can say the county needs to do something? They already have extensive sex ed, with an emphasis on abstinence, and birth control is readily available. What more can they do?

Hmmm... Maybe transfer the responsibility back to the parents?

6th grade sex ed. Condoms. And that is justified by saying that times are different than when we grew up. And that's a good thing?

A pregnant 14 year old is exactly why abortion is legal in this country. So a child can have a second chance in a system that has failed her.

 

[Ken King]

Originally posted by Oz
So a child can have a second chance in a system that has failed her.

I don't think it was the system that spread her legs apart.

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by Ken King
I don't think it was the system that spread her legs apart.

I think what he means is that we've taken the stigma off of teen sex by offering them birth control. The old, "They're gonna do it anyway" defense.

 

[Ken King]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
I think what he means is that we've taken the stigma off of teen sex by offering them birth control. The old, "They're gonna do it anyway" defense.

That wasn't the message I gave to my kids, that stigma is still alive in our household (granted I no longer have any teens, but my thought process hasn't changed). This is a family matter and should be handled by parents and not our schools, county, state or the Fed.

 

[Heretic]

I believe the parent should be responsible, however there are many that are not nor will ever be and the life of their kid is f'ed up either way. We cant just say sorry kid your mom and dad are dirt bags have a f'ed up life too bad

There is also nothing to do in this county for kids, the schools are so far apart and so big I wager that has something to di with it.

My highschool was only 400 students and only 10 minutes away from just about everyone that attended it, you could walk to school and after activities. Most of the girls that got knocked up at my school were the ones who didnt participate in after school activities. Now the one school in the county that had kids come from all over had almost no after activity participation and I think it had the highest teen pregnancy, drug, and incarceration rate. Just points to ponder.

Single parent or two working parent homes have alot to do with it too.

 

[Heretic]

Originally posted by Ken King
That wasn't the message I gave to my kids, that stigma is still alive in our household (granted I no longer have any teens, but my thought process hasn't changed). This is a family matter and should be handled by parents and not our schools, county, state or the Fed.

Ken you know darn well that there are parents that wont handle it....is it just tough ####?

 

[Kirsten]

Ok I grew up knowing if I became pregnant as a teenager that

A) my parents would be HIGHLY disappointed

B) I would be allowed to make a decision based on ALL the options available.

C) I would want to keep the child and that was not going to be possible so I always protected myself.

1) the joke here is I would not be able to become pregnant if I had wanted to so the protection was in actuality more from STD's

Now the same town I grew up in and am living in has seen a HUGE increase in teen pregnancy, and what kills me are the girls who decide once they have one then they should just keep having them and a majority of their children do not have the same fathers.

I have a friend who became pregnant towards the end of our senior year in high school, and gave birth a month early so had not totally prepared herself for giving her child up as she had planned and ended up keeping him. However she learned her lesson on how life really was and did not have another child for 11 years!

I think the problem is some girls have low self esteem and poor self image. Also some realize they can become emancipated minors and get welfare to put them in an apartment and give them food stamps so if they are having tough times at home(which all teenagers do at one point or another), they get pregnant as a way out of what they see as a horrible and terrible situation. Just my observations from what I see going on up here and it sounds like the same down there.

 

[Ken King]

Originally posted by Heretic
Ken you know darn well that there are parents that wont handle it....is it just tough ####?

Sure there are, but does that make it the governments responsibility? As far as tough sh!t, that about sums it up. The family needs to handle this.

Now, just to be clear, I wasn't saying we need to remove what is already in place, like sex-ed. What I am saying is that as long as the government provides the handouts to most of those teens that have a child or takes greater responsibility away from the parents the problem will continue to grow. If that's the system OZ was talking about I agree with him, it's broken.

We have so much intervention by the government nowadays that raising a child isn't considered important by many. You know, the mindset that says "Why worry about it even if it does happen, there is a crutch (welfare) to fall back on."

 

[Heretic]

Originally posted by Ken King
Sure there are, but does that make it the governments responsibility? As far as tough sh!t, that about sums it up. The family needs to handle this.

Now, just to be clear, I wasn't saying we need to remove what is already in place, like sex-ed. What I am saying is that as long as the government provides the handouts to most of those teens that have a child or takes greater responsibility away from the parents the problem will continue to grow. If that's the system OZ was talking about I agree with him, it's broken.

We have so much intervention by the government nowadays that raising a child isn't considered important by many. You know, the mindset that says "Why worry about it even if it does happen, there is a crutch (welfare) to fall back on."

Ken my point is we already pay for the welfare if this does happen...ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure. I think Maryland already has more than enough people on welfare.

 

[Bertha Venation]

Originally posted by Ken King
I don't think it was the system that spread her legs apart.

I don't think it was the system that made a boy let his hormones override whatever decency he might otherwise exercise so he could get off with a girl instead of Mr. Hand. Remember, in the instance Heretic is talking about, the girl is slightly disabled and has low self-esteem. I realise "low self-esteem" seems to some people like liberal code for "no self-restraint," but I assure you, having been there, this is not the case.

Let us never forget that whatever "dirtiness" or "stigma" or "shame" we wish to attach to teenage pregnancy must be given both barrells to the boy as well!

It's not just the girl who is at fault!!

 

[Ken King]

Bertha,

Of course it takes two to tango, but I haven't even addressed the male that impregnated her. With her only being 14 (and I am unsure of what "slightly handicapped" means) the boy obviously felt he could persuade her into the act. He and his family should share the burden that the acts of the children have created. If within legal guidelines he should be prosecuted.

What I have been trying to say is, that beyond the two children the parents need to accept the fact that they were contributing factors to what happened. The boys parents for not teaching him the morals of life and the girls for not teaching her about the animals she will come into contact with.

Heretic,

How did we already pay for something that hasn't happened yet? I understand that this could result in another one on the doles and it might increase the expenses that are paid for by our taxes, but I wouldn't say we have already paid for it.

I also don't think that the state should pay for a lot of things that it does, this being one of them.