1st Time mom

[newlife_09]

Does anyone have advice for a first time mom to be? I am due in Jan and I am more nervous than ever! I stress about things everday...newcar, nursery, work etc. What is a good way to stay stress free and just enjoy being pregnant?

 

[Chain729]

Does anyone have advice for a first time mom to be? I am due in Jan and I am more nervous than ever! I stress about things everday...newcar, nursery, work etc. What is a good way to stay stress free and just enjoy being pregnant?

1. Memorize your Mom's phone number. You survived to adulthood, so she had to know something.

2. Don't expect the Dad to be as emotional as you. It just doesn't happen, but you'll ignore me and still expect it.

3. Don't believe everything the Doc tells you. "The best thing to do" changes every month.

4. Get everything you can get ready, ready now. You'll never be completely ready, but it's good to minimize the "oh craps." Do not postpone. Once that kid pops out, time is non-existent and for awhile, NOTHING will get done.

5. No matter how bad the pregnancy is, once you look at the kid, it all "poofs."

6. The poofed things morph a bit and return in a few weeks.

7. For the first few months after birth, Dad won't be too attached to the kid. To him, it's doll baby on steroids. Attachment doesn't really begin to set in until the kid smiles and laughs. See #2 about expecting him to be emotional.

 

[Mousebaby]

Does anyone have advice for a first time mom to be? I am due in Jan and I am more nervous than ever! I stress about things everday...newcar, nursery, work etc. What is a good way to stay stress free and just enjoy being pregnant?

Try not to stress too much, I know it's hard, but it all really does just come naturally. Not to mention you will have friends and family to call on to give you advice as you need it. You will be fine.

I remember those days like it was yesterday, and now my oldest is going to be 16 next month. So far so good. You'll be fine. and Congrats!!

 

[poster]

1. Memorize your Mom's phone number. You survived to adulthood, so she had to know something.

2. Don't expect the Dad to be as emotional as you. It just doesn't happen, but you'll ignore me and still expect it.

3. Don't believe everything the Doc tells you. "The best thing to do" changes every month.

4. Get everything you can get ready, ready now. You'll never be completely ready, but it's good to minimize the "oh craps." Do not postpone. Once that kid pops out, time is non-existent and for awhile, NOTHING will get done.

5. No matter how bad the pregnancy is, once you look at the kid, it all "poofs."

6. The poofed things morph a bit and return in a few weeks.

7. For the first few months after birth, Dad won't be too attached to the kid. To him, it's doll baby on steroids. Attachment doesn't really begin to set in until the kid smiles and laughs. See #2 about expecting him to be emotional.

I think that pretty much sums it up!
Give or take the Dad comment, my husband was hands on from day one but all guys are different. And #4 is a must, prepare as much as possible. Then you can sit back and enjoy the wait.

Just listen to your body, if you're tired, rest. Drink as much water as you can stand and then 2 more glasses. Everything else just pretty much happens, at least it did for me.

 

[Sweet 16]

Does anyone have advice for a first time mom to be? I am due in Jan and I am more nervous than ever! I stress about things everday...newcar, nursery, work etc. What is a good way to stay stress free and just enjoy being pregnant?

Relax as much as possible, read a book, drink some tea, daydream about your new baby and PLAN, PLAN, PLAN ahead! The more you get done now while you are still a manageable size means less stuff you gotta stress about later when you're waddling around with swollen ankles. Seriously, make a checklist of things you think you'll need and things you need to do and start now tackling them one by one. Believe me, it is less overwhelming that way and a stress-reliever to see the list get shorter. There are books out there to help you with this. Go window-shopping for baby clothes (they're sooooooo cute!) maybe even buy a few things. Remember, there will never be enough time or money to do all the things you want to but just try to relax and enjoy it for what it is. Congrats and good luck!

 

[RareBreed]

I was also due in January (2001) and you might want to come up with a "What if..." plan. My biggest concern was mostly snow/blizzard/ice. How will you get to the hospital in the roads are covered? Does your housing development plow side roads, or just main roads? Is there a neighbor who has four wheel drive vehicle if needed? How fast do ambulances get to where you are located?

I was lucky. No snow and he was 2 wks late so I was induced. No mad dash to the hospital. Neither with my second. I was 3 wks early with him and 7cm dialated when I went for a dr's visit after work. Never felt a thing. Didn't have anything set up as far as where to put Kid #1 when we left for hospital and had not packed. Ended up going home and waiting another day before heading to the hospital.

 

[DQ2B]

Nothing you read or hear from others can really prepare you for what is to come, but...

that said, things WILL eventually work themselves out.

Lack of sleep will leave you semi-catatonic for a while, especially if you are exclusively breast-feeding since your DH won't be able to help out with the nightime feedings.

You'll feel completely disoriented and unorganized for a while. Things that seemed simple before will suddenly become major obstacles.

Leaving the house for errands will be an overwhelming process at first, do it anyway, you'll learn as you go.

The amount of "stuff" you now have to lug around anytime you leave the house will expand exponentially.

If you can, prepare as many frozen meals ahead as your freezer will hold. Trying to figure out how to get dinner prepared while caring for a newborn will need to be completely re-learned.

Don't "lose" yourself in becoming a mother. A happy mom makes for a happy baby.

There's tons more I could say but honestly, everyone is different and your experiences may be very different from someone elses. Try not to get too worked up over everything. Time takes care of most of the adjustments to becoming a parent.

Good luck!

 

[Toxick]

What is a good way to stay stress free and just enjoy being pregnant?

I've never been pregnant myself, so all I have is second-hand information and observations. And if my wife is any guide, pregnancy is not to be enjoyed.

By anybody.




Actually the best enjoyment that I can remember during the incubation period of each of my spawn, was the first few kicks, and the relief when it's finally over.

The actual births - I still haven't sorted out my feelings about them yet.

Buying baby stuff is fun. Buying maternity clothes was fun. Coming up with names is fun. Guessing who the baby is going to look like is fun. Rubbing and talking to my wife's pregnant tummy was fun.


The psychotic episodes were not fun.

Guessing which personality I was coming home to every day was not fun.


BTW: Congratulations.

 

[Cowgirl]

My only advice: If you're going to ask for advice on here, you better have some thick skin.

 

[newlife_09]

Well, Thanks everyone for your advice and comments. It is very overwhelming at times but in the end it will be worth it!! We find out in 2wks what it is so I think that will halp with the attachment factor and calm me down a bit.....we shall see!!

 

[Sweet 16]

psychotic episodes

See? I had forgotten about those. It's only taken 15 years, but I've finally forgotten them!

 

[morningbell]

Does anyone have advice for a first time mom to be? I am due in Jan and I am more nervous than ever! I stress about things everday...newcar, nursery, work etc. What is a good way to stay stress free and just enjoy being pregnant?

Win the lottery, fall into a a lot of money so you don't have to worry about anything. That way you can spend your days before the baby on a beach somewhere, have the perfect delivery. You'll have nannies to take care of your bundle of joy, hand him/her to you all clean and changed, it'll be perfect.

 

[Dymphna]

1. Memorize your Mom's phone number. You survived to adulthood, so she had to know something.


2. Don't expect the Dad to be as emotional as you. It just doesn't happen, but you'll ignore me and still expect it.
but he's still got a lot going on in his head he's not expressing, including a little bit of jealousy because it's all about you and then it'll be all about the baby and Daddy gets forgotten. His opinion counts too.
3. Don't believe everything the Doc tells you. "The best thing to do" changes every month.
Most kids manage to survive best intentions anyway.

4. Get everything you can get ready, ready now. You'll never be completely ready, but it's good to minimize the "oh craps." Do not postpone. Once that kid pops out, time is non-existent and for awhile, NOTHING will get done.
but remember as long as you have diapers, a car seat and a place for baby to sleep, it's all good. Everything else is optional.

5. No matter how bad the pregnancy is, once you look at the kid, it all "poofs."


6. The poofed things morph a bit and return in a few weeks.

7. For the first few months after birth, Dad won't be too attached to the kid. To him, it's doll baby on steroids. Attachment doesn't really begin to set in until the kid smiles and laughs. See #2 about expecting him to be emotional.
but remember that daddies love their babies too and are just as much a parent as mom is. Your respect for their parenting skills and your expectations for them should reflect that.

...

 

[Chain729]

Nothing you read or hear from others can really prepare you for what is to come, but...

that said, things WILL eventually work themselves out.

Lack of sleep will leave you semi-catatonic for a while, especially if you are exclusively breast-feeding since your DH won't be able to help out with the nightime feedings.

You'll feel completely disoriented and unorganized for a while. Things that seemed simple before will suddenly become major obstacles.

Leaving the house for errands will be an overwhelming process at first, do it anyway, you'll learn as you go.

The amount of "stuff" you now have to lug around anytime you leave the house will expand exponentially.

If you can, prepare as many frozen meals ahead as your freezer will hold. Trying to figure out how to get dinner prepared while caring for a newborn will need to be completely re-learned.

Don't "lose" yourself in becoming a mother. A happy mom makes for a happy baby.

There's tons more I could say but honestly, everyone is different and your experiences may be very different from someone elses. Try not to get too worked up over everything. Time takes care of most of the adjustments to becoming a parent.

Good luck!

Forgot about that part. Quick trips anywhere will only be a memory. And it's best to park close to a cart return, rather than the front door. You'll remember that the first time you have to lug a good 30 pounds from your car into the store.

I think that pretty much sums it up!
Give or take the Dad comment, my husband was hands on from day one but all guys are different. And #4 is a must, prepare as much as possible. Then you can sit back and enjoy the wait.

Just listen to your body, if you're tired, rest. Drink as much water as you can stand and then 2 more glasses. Everything else just pretty much happens, at least it did for me.

Hands on, and being emotionally attached are always the same. I was hands-on, but in reality, I wasn't really attached (beyond the obligation) to a 10 pound item that just laid there and made noise at the worst times.

I've never been pregnant myself, so all I have is second-hand information and observations. And if my wife is any guide, pregnancy is not to be enjoyed.

By anybody.




Actually the best enjoyment that I can remember during the incubation period of each of my spawn, was the first few kicks, and the relief when it's finally over.

The actual births - I still haven't sorted out my feelings about them yet.

Buying baby stuff is fun. Buying maternity clothes was fun. Coming up with names is fun. Guessing who the baby is going to look like is fun. Rubbing and talking to my wife's pregnant tummy was fun.


The psychotic episodes were not fun.

Guessing which personality I was coming home to every day was not fun.


BTW: Congratulations.

I'd finally forgotten about that. And I'd thought she was nuts non-preggo.

But, the rest of it was fun. Especially shopping for maternity clothes.

 

[Kittykat33]

I am going to be a new mom too in Nov. Congrats too you!!