Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners

[The Jackoholic]

Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners
>
>How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and
>Southerners?
>
>Pose the following question:
>
>You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
>children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
>around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
>knife,
>and charges.
>
>You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
>seconds before he reaches you and your family.
>
>What do you do?
>
>Liberal Answer:
>
>Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
>look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
>inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What
>about
>the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife
>out
>of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock
>have an appropriate safety built into it?
>
>Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
>this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with
>just killing me?
>
>Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
>me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
>while he was stabbing me?
>
>Should I call 9-1-1?
>
>Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
>weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
>such behavior.
>
>This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a
>few days and try to come to a consensus.
>
>Conservative Answer:
>BANG!
>
>Southerner's Answer :
>BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
>click...! (sounds of reloading).
>
>Wife: "Hun, he looks like he 's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"
>Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."
>BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
>Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?

 

[TripleJ]

A southerner with a glock? and, an expert with it as well? I'd believe this more if it were a shotgun........., then I'd have to know if it was loaded for duck season restrictions. Then again, it doesn't matter how many times it was reloaded and fired, as long as the culprit is moving he represents a threat and should be fired upon. I would also think that this criminal, after he stopped moving, would be kicked a few times with a few explicit deletives express by the family in general. This would be justified by the intense anguished state that the criminal put this family in.

 

[Bruzilla]

I've spent a lot of time living in Florida, and Glocks are a weapon of choice down there since they are less prone to rust.