Misfit
Lawful neutral
http://metro.co.uk/2014/05/03/27-things-men-do-in-bed-that-women-hate-4717030/
1. ‘When they try to recreate sex positions that they’ve obviously seen on some online porn site, and you end up basically doing a headstand, looking a mess and having to listen to them say: “You’re loving that aren’t you babes?” Err, no.’
2. ‘When you’re on top and they’re just staring at you and it’s like, ahhh what face do I pull? So you just close your eyes and hope for the best.’
3. ‘When they ask YOU to put the condom on. Just no.’
4. ‘When they think it’s sexy to spank you so hard that you just want to turn around and punch them in the face.’
5. ‘When they just stop, and it’s like, “hello? Did you hear me orgasm?” No.’
6. ‘Asking “do you like that?” How about just don’t talk and see if I look like I don’t want to kill myself/watch Family Guy over your shoulder.’
7. ‘When you give them a BJ and they act as if you don’t have a gag reflex. How about I’m sick all over your penis?’
8. ‘When they ask you to strip (which is always awkward – what music do you put on?) and then your skinny jeans get stuck round your ankles.’
9. ‘When they see random things they’ve read online and think they’re a good idea. Err no, I don’t want ice rubbed all over my body.’
10. ‘When you’re in the middle of foreplay and they thrust a finger up your bum with NO warning.’