It must be tough being a republican in 2004

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Sparx

New Member
It Must Be Tough Being a Republican in 2004, since somehow, you have to believe concurrently that:

Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing U. N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body but the government can.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, but then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him and Rumsfeld reassured him he was our buddy, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, but then a bad guy again when Bush junior needed a prop for his re-election campaign as the "war president"
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying about WMD's existence is somehow, solid "defense" policy in a "War against Terrorism".
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which should include "banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet".
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's Harken Oil stock trade should be sealed in his Daddy's library, and is none of our business.
What Bill Clinton or John Kerry did in the 1960's was of vital national interest but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a "spirit of international harmony".
You are a conservative, but it is OK to spend like there is no tomorrow and run up deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same refunding as much tax money as possible to rich people who do not need it.
 
T

tlatchaw

Not dead yet.
It must be tough to be a Democrat in 2004.

You're candidate has no message or charisma.

You can only get traction from issues by mistating them and setting up a Republican strawman.

Your favorite president finally develops a shred of character or at least puts on a good lie about how bad he feels about lying. But its too late, his legacy is settled.

You have to hope that the economy tanks, thousands of sodiers are killed and that the terrorists commit a big strike in the USA in order to get re-elected.

You need to act like Michael Moore is sexy and intelligent.

You need to act like Al Franken is funny.

You have to believe that all perspectives (except those of Republicans) are equally correct and moral.

Since you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything.

Your last great hope is a "strong woman" that owes her career to her husband and stood by her man just like Tammy Wynette even though the whole world knew he was a dirty liar, philanderer, and perjurer.

These folks need our sympathy! Make your checks out to npr.org
 
Toxick

Toxick

Splat
Originally posted by Sparx
It Must Be Tough Being a Republican in 2004, since somehow, you have to believe concurrently that:

Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body but the government can.

You are a conservative, but it is OK to spend like there is no tomorrow and run up deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same refunding as much tax money as possible to rich people who do not need it.
Click to expand...

funny.jpg
 
soul4sale

soul4sale

New Member
Originally posted by tlatchaw
It must be tough to be a Democrat in 2004.

You're candidate has no message or charisma.

Good, but misspelled. The judges will have to deduct points.

You can only get traction from issues by mistating them and setting up a Republican strawman.

Excellent newsspeak, but an awful counterattack. You see, the genius of the original post was the focus on specific issues and facts. This is just, well, your unsubstantiated opinion, and terribly vague at that. Need to get specific.

You need to act like Al Franken is funny.

Zing! MUCH BETTER! Gotta write that one down...

Since you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything.

Bumber sticker philosophy is best suited for the jingoists and those lacking in long-term memory. Not good argument.

Your last great hope is a "strong woman" that owes her career to her husband and stood by her man just like Tammy Wynette even though the whole world knew he was a dirty liar, philanderer, and perjurer.

OH NO! A COUNTRY MUSIC REFERENCE! Don't go down that path, man. It just buttonholes you further. Oh, and you might want to back off the whole personal Clinton attack thing. Bush's skeletons are piling up as well, and then we'll get into the "who stole the election, huh?" debate and that's just boring.
 
V

Voter2002

"Fill your hands you SOB!
I get a kick out of it when Sparx spouts garbage right out of the Democrat handbook on "How to lie, cheat and steal your way into office" :nono:
 
T

tlatchaw

Not dead yet.
You're candidate has no message or charisma.

Good, but misspelled. The judges will have to deduct points.

Ohhh! You got me! Should be "Your." Thanks, and see below where I return your editing wit!

Excellent newsspeak, but an awful counterattack. You see, the genius of the original post was the focus on specific issues and facts. This is just, well, your unsubstantiated opinion, and terribly vague at that. Need to get specific.

Interesting argument but a non-sequitor since Sparx was speaking in generalities and lumping everyone into the same group of thought. You see, I believe in a God that loves all people regardless of sexuality, although some practices are not condoned because they are physically and spiritually unhealthy. (for instance). I did not want to take the time to dissect his every specious argument along this line.

You need to act like Al Franken is funny.

Zing! MUCH BETTER! Gotta write that one down...

Truth hurts, don't it?

Since you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything.

Bumber sticker philosophy is best suited for the jingoists and those lacking in long-term memory.

I enjoy hearing spelling criticism from people who cannot spell "bumper." Thanks!

Your last great hope is a "strong woman" that owes her career to her husband and stood by her man just like Tammy Wynette even though the whole world knew he was a dirty liar, philanderer, and perjurer.

OH NO! A COUNTRY MUSIC REFERENCE! Don't go down that path, man. It just buttonholes you further. Oh, and you might want to back off the whole personal Clinton attack thing. Bush's skeletons are piling up as well, and then we'll get into the "who stole the election, huh?" debate and that's just boring.

Whoah! Speaking of a lack of long term memory, SOMEBODY seems to have forgotten the famous Hillary quotes relating to what a strong minded woman she was during the election of 1992. She specifically mention Tammy Wynette by name and said she wouldn't be waiting around the house baking cookies and standing by her man.

Nobody stole the election. You're right. There's nothing worth arguing about there.

Now sit down and try to relax. The shrill liberal act is really unbecoming.
 
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S

Shanobi

Guest
When you assure that the US will find Osama Bin-Whats-his-name
who has been allusive for years yet you cant find the White House leak on Valarie Plame when all fingers point to the VP's staff.

When you push for sneak and peak privelages to fight the war on terrorism and use the Sectre Service to fly all Bin Laden family members in the US back to Saudi Arabia after 911 to protect them from any vigilantee retaliation.



...I like this game....
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Well, it could be worse...

It Must Be Tough Being a Republican in 2004
Click to expand...

We could be stuck trying to sell John Kerry. :killingme:

And, for the record, God hates us all. He just hates us a little less because we are at least trying.
 
soul4sale

soul4sale

New Member
Originally posted by tlatchaw
Whoah! Speaking of a lack of long term memory, SOMEBODY seems to have forgotten the famous Hillary quotes relating to what a strong minded woman she was during the election of 1992. She specifically mention Tammy Wynette by name and said she wouldn't be waiting around the house baking cookies and standing by her man.

Yes, I guess that quote would stick out to a person who listens to county music. I see your point. For me, it got lost in the rest of the bad noise.

Now sit down and try to relax. The shrill liberal act is really unbecoming.

So is psychological projection. Only it's also kinda rude too.
 
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