Best places to practice driving for extremely fearful teen

gretchen

New Member
I need to take my daughter to practice driving today,but she is a VERY nervous driver. Crying,panic attacks,the works. She witnessed an extremely bad and graphic accident and has been fearful ever since. Driving instructor references who are good with this situation would help too.
 

Roman

Active Member
At the beginning of teaching driving skills to my kids, I went to the High School until I felt as though they gained confidence in themselves, and learned the car. Has your Daughter seen someone for PTSD? Having been a Paramedic, I know what she witnessed was not a good thing, and maybe if she talked to someone about it, it might help her with panic attacks.
 

PeoplesElbow

Well-Known Member
I think you should address her issues before putting her behind the wheel or you may make it worse. A mall parking lot on a sunday evening after everything closes is a good place.
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
I think you should address her issues before putting her behind the wheel or you may make it worse. A mall parking lot on a sunday evening after everything closes is a good place.

ITA. Having a panic attack in the middle of driving is not a good idea - especially when they can come on suddenly and can be hard to manage. It's a dangerous situation to be in, for sure.

If one of the local high schools doesn't have any activities going on, then they are usually big enough areas to practice driving around, parking, backing up, etc.
 

gretchen

New Member
I think you should address her issues before putting her behind the wheel or you may make it worse. A mall parking lot on a sunday evening after everything closes is a good place.

We've tried therapy,and she is on Elavil,the dr thought this was good for her to take the edge off and as migraine prophylaxis as well. But it has been brought up that she needs "exposure therapy" and they wanted her to try in isolated places.
 

PeoplesElbow

Well-Known Member
We've tried therapy,and she is on Elavil,the dr thought this was good for her to take the edge off and as migraine prophylaxis as well. But it has been brought up that she needs "exposure therapy" and they wanted her to try in isolated places.

Ah ok, personally I would be afraid because teen drivers naturally do dumb things. I would think even a small accident could make it way worse.

Is there any problem riding in a car?
 

Goldenhawk

Well-Known Member
I would go for the high school parking lot, and after that, a very low traffic road far, far away from main roads. But while that would be a good start, I would bet that traffic itself is probably not the whole issue - crashing doesn't require another car/driver, after all. At the core, it may be the whole idea of being in control of something that could cause such carnage. So you need a place where sudden stops won't hurt anything.
 

gretchen

New Member
This has all kind of snowballed to the point that we don't know what exactly the fear is. She starts crying and freaking out at the thought of driving,and while she can calm herself down some she drives EXTREMELY slow and white knuckles it the whole time. We do the school parking lots but some weekends there is still quite a bit of traffic. We drive on the road sometimes very early in the morning,when no one else is out there. She witnessed a very bad accident two years ago and this stuck with her,and caused a lot of nervousness. Then,just a few months later we were driving talking about her phobia and a car was hit only about three cars ahead of us. I jumped out to help and while doing so,she stayed in the vehicle. A third car then hit one of the vehicles that was stationary and pushed it a little and she said later that she thought it was going to hit her. Essentially,she said odds are she will be in an accident and has no way of knowing if or how bad she might get hurt. She says her life plan is to move to DC and take the Metro. Because that's safer. I know. Rolled my eyes too. She even lost it in Disney World on the test track ride,came off in tears because she said part of the ride simulated a collision with a truck.
 

RPMDAD

Well-Known Member
Wow, sorry to hear that. I am siding with PE on this one " I think you should address her issues before putting her behind the wheel or you may make it worse." Maybe explain to her, that in your opinion, she just isn't ready yet to start driving, and let her tell you when she feels a little better about it. I think someone else already asked does she have problems riding in a car?
 

gretchen

New Member
Wow, sorry to hear that. I am siding with PE on this one " I think you should address her issues before putting her behind the wheel or you may make it worse." Maybe explain to her, that in your opinion, she just isn't ready yet to start driving, and let her tell you when she feels a little better about it. I think someone else already asked does she have problems riding in a car?

No,she rides in a car fine. She says it isn't her favorite thing to do,but she trusts me. And we've tried waiting for her to be ready. She's almost 19. I'm of the belief that the longer she is allowed to indulge in her fear,the more it will have a hold on her.
 

tuffenuff2

Active Member
My son is also a nervous driver but not to the same extent. My husband takes him on the base at the weekends.
 

RPMDAD

Well-Known Member
gretchen, please don't get me wrong here at all, i mean no disrespect, i was guessing your daughter was younger maybe 16. Have you and her thought about maybe going to and talking to a therapist, i am not sure this will help but it might.
 

PeoplesElbow

Well-Known Member
No,she rides in a car fine. She says it isn't her favorite thing to do,but she trusts me. And we've tried waiting for her to be ready. She's almost 19. I'm of the belief that the longer she is allowed to indulge in her fear,the more it will have a hold on her.

I think you slowly need to take her out of her comfort zone, like you and her ride with someone else and progress from there.
 

gretchen

New Member
gretchen, please don't get me wrong here at all, i mean no disrespect, i was guessing your daughter was younger maybe 16. Have you and her thought about maybe going to and talking to a therapist, i am not sure this will help but it might.

No offense taken at all! We've tried a therapist. Everyone agreed she just needs more exposure to driving to learn to trust herself. Does anyone know if there are any therapists that specialize in this sort of issue or even driving schools that deal with this issue specifically? Surely there are plenty of nervous kids out there,if not as bad as mine.
 

Chasey_Lane

Salt Life
Parking lot to get a "feel" for the car, then a big neighborhood (houses spread out). Gradually increase the level of interferences and traffic.
 

keekee

Well-Known Member
Therapists are not always right - I'd go with my parental instincts.

Does she have a definite need to have a license right now?

Maybe giving her a couple more years to heal would be helpful.
How would she react if she was faced with a stressful situation while driving?
Would it put your daughter, and others at risk if she was behind the wheel?

Plenty of people survive without having a driver's license...
Why push her if she isn't ready?
 

lovinmaryland

Well-Known Member
I took my teens to an empty parking lot their first time driving. That way they get the feel of the car (brakes, gas, etc...)

I'm the exact opposite of your daughter though. I'm the one who has panic attacks when other people drive. This weekend was an experience letting him drive me from Leonardtown to Brandywine & back :yikes: :bawl:
 

Gilligan

#*! boat!
PREMO Member
Surely there are plenty of nervous kids out there,if not as bad as mine.

My missus has a niece that sounds a lot like your daughter. When she turned 22 or 23, she apparently grew out of her phobia enough to go ahead and get her license on her own.
 
The general approach here is that she has to drive. Why? I know many people who don't drive. My mother is a good example, exhibited many of the traits your daughter is displaying. After a few sessions with a learner's permit, she quit and never tried again. Her choice.

If the daughter is THAT uncomfortable doing this, pushing her against her will to do something she is not happy doing will never make it better, drugs and therapy included. Chances are she will be more of a danger on the road and might never grow out of it. She has to be willing and ready on her own terms.

Unless there is a commanding reason for her to drive, I'd back off. Her plan to move to DC and use Metro isn't all that far fetched.
 

bilbur

New Member
You could try anyplace in St Mary's that is at the end of the Earth. What I mean is places like Pt. Lookout or 7th District where the traffic will be light. There are many back roads in the county that have light traffic but the only draw back is most of the time there is no shoulder so she might panic because of not having a place to bail out. You could also try Breton Bay, once you pass the Golf course clubhouse there is very little traffic with a slow speed limit. You can also try Google maps to find secluded roads around the county. Good luck, I hope she overcomes her fears but remind her never to get too comfortable, a little fear can be a good thing because it reminds you that driving demands 100% of your attention.
 
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