Part 1
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What a lovely memory to look back on. Im going to see If I can make one for my Mum who passed away Oct 30 2006 Her Tribute follows... Part 1 & 2
Elizabeth ( Betty ) Fogg 30/12/30 – 30/10/06
I would firstly like to thank you all for attending this service today and for your kind thoughts and wishes for the family.
I have agreed to talk about my mum today with the intention of providing you with some insight into her life as a child, a sister and a mum.
She was born on the 30th December 1930 and was one of five children with two brothers (Herbie and Alfie) and two sisters (Rita and Eileen).
Her life as a child was not what you would want for any child. These were difficult times for her, born to, by today’s standards, what can only be considered a bad father but a loving mother.
Evacuated during the War Years to a family in Wales, she began to understand just what a normal loving family was like. She enjoyed this time and often recalled it with great affection.
Eventually, this time ended and she was sent home, back to the dark times. Times when it was safer for a mother and five children to walk the streets at night rather than be at home when her Dad came back from the pub. He must have been a troubled sole.
Her teenage years were much happier, still tough times but the father had moved on. She worked at Tate and Lyle, rotating shifts with her mum, so that there would be someone there to look after the younger brothers and sisters. A big responsibility for someone so young.
These experiences I am sure made her the strong and independent woman we all recognised in her in later life.
Great days eventually came, with dancing, party’s even turning her hand to sewing the odd blouse from parachute silk when clothes were hard to get. A smart woman …………….
Trips out with the girls from the factory to Blackpool were fun times and indeed, when we sat and looked at her old photographs recently, the happiness could be seen in her face.
She married the boy next door, Bob ( dad ), moved in next door with the mother in-law Alice, another formidable woman from all accounts and whilst the fun and the party’s continued she always kept a watchful eye on her Mum, brothers and sisters.
Then just as it was going so well along came the kids!
First Linda, a beautiful girl and we have the photo’s to prove it, then Robert a little *** and then 5 years later came “twins” me and David who sadly died as a baby.
4 years on and guess what ………. “twins” ………… yes, along came Janis and Alan. Mum once said to me when you started coming in “two’s” that was it.
Bringing up five children was a challenge, of that I have no doubt. That said, we had everything we needed which was a credit to Mum and Dad, who both worked very hard to support us all.
Supportive, loving, strict but fair, is how I recall I was treated through my childhood days. A set of values we can all aspire to.
As kids none of us was perfect and Mum would give you a good clip around the ear if you didn’t behave, or she could pick you off with a shoe at 10 yards if you were on the move when she stood up. Now some of us needed this more than others but I will let Janis tell you more about that later.
The experiences of her early life made her the person she was, a loving wife and mother and someone who was very proud of, and very loyal to, all her children. She had developed a strength of character that she would need in later years.
Dad sadly died at the age of 55yrs leaving mum a widow at 50yrs. She needed to muster all her strength to carry on and this she did. It wasn’t easy, she had many difficult times and many tearful nights but eventually she came through these bad times ………………. but never got over them.
Mum subsequently moved to Southport and set up home in a lovely flat in Birkdale. Never settled, never truly happy and never over Dad she carried on. By now she was a grandmother many times over and developed strong supportive and loving relationships with all her grandchildren.
Despite all of this and the love of a growing family she was a lonely woman, who in later life became a little more insecure and vulnerable. Sure she was strong that was in her nature and she needed this because at times she wasn’t always treated the way she should have been.
I can remember visits were she would cry at something that had happened, or something someone had said, she was a sensitive sole too. That said, in most cases she had the strength to pick her self up and forgive, if not forget these things happened.
Having dealt with many bad times and picked herself up, dusted herself down and carried on, she became ill in 2005.
She was a proud woman and someone who didn’t ask for help often. One night though, things must have gotten the better her and she called my house. Mo answered and all I remember is Mo saying, Betty do you want us to come over?
We soon arrived and for the first time I saw her looking frail, she wouldn’t have the doctor out or go to the hospital.
Eventually she went to the doctors and was referred to the hospital.
The next twelve months would show just how strong, determined and proud this lady was.
In September 2005 she was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. Alan and I were with her when the doctor told her…… I recall a nurse said how sorry she was and Mum said, don’t be sorry, it isn’t your fault, it was me who smoked.
Ok she says what do we do now what treatment do I need and when do we start.
She was offered an operation to remove the tumour but this was subject to a week of test at the hospital to check out how strong she was. Knowing the risk she said yes and soon she was in hospital having all her tests, they said then how strong she was both physically and mentally.
The tests finished and they agreed to operate. The day she went down for the operation Rob, Alan and I were with her and stayed all day until she came out of theatre.
Unfortunately for her they said when they had a detailed look at her under anaesthetic that they wouldn’t be able to operate. The surgeon very kindly found the three of us and explained and said Mum was in recovery and would be brought back to the room.
Imagine overcoming the fear of the operation in search of a cure only to wake up and find the operation hadn’t taken place. Again she dug deep and moved on with her only memory of this time being the fact that her three boys were together joking and making fun of each other, something we hadn’t done for some time.
Well we were off again the next plan being chemotherapy treatment. Alan and I would meet at the flat each Wednesday and take her for her treatment.
Once I recall the nurse stopping all three of us Mum with Alan and I either side of her and she said, “ oh Betty you have brought your body guards with you today” …………………. I said “no actually were here to protect you!” and if she had crossed her she would have quickly understood.
The Chemo was hard, if there was a side effect listed she got it but the outcome was quite positive. The tumour had reduced in size by about a 1/3 which was a good result, this gave her some hope.
She started to feel stronger as the side effects started to subside and then we started the next phase, Radiotherapy.
Being of strong mind she decided that Alan and I had been taking too much time of work and she wanted to get some control back, so she decided she would go to the Radiotherapy appointments herself but she would like us to go with her to the appointments with the Doctor when they discuss results or progress.