I could really use your help. Democrats are fleeing like i have the plague. They are even going after my power hungry wife. Hook a brother up and get on the Weiner wagon. Give me some spin. I am much too talented, intellectual and sexy to go down like this.
I have some ideas to plant in the news to get them off my ass.
Maybe Bristol Palin could get knocked up again. Maybe even Sarah herself, preferably not by that macho manly ass she is married to. Michael Moore would be good!
What about those rich brothers the Koch or Conk's, you know the ones. Maybe we could link them to something sinister.
Maybe we could shoot another black kid and try to pin it on that Zimmerman guy.
I know, Todd Palin gets Kim Kardashian pregnant, in a fit of anger Kanye attacks and is gunned down by Sarah.