B
BRVIZ
Guest
Do you remember these two and their famous "Who's on First?"
> > Here is a modern day "Who's at the computer?" in their style:
> >
> > ABBOTT: Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. Can I help you?
> >
> > COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den,
> > and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Mac?
> >
> > COSTELLO: No, the name is Bud.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Your computer?
> >
> > COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Mac?
> >
> > COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Bud.
> >
> > ABBOTT: What about Windows?
> >
> > COSTELLO: Why? Does it get stuffy?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
> >
> > COSTELLO: I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Software that runs on Windows?
> >
> > COSTELLO: No, on the computer! I need something I can use to
> > write proposals track expenses. You know, run a business.
> > What have you got?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Office.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
> >
> > ABBOTT: I just did.
> >
> > COSTELLO: You just did what?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Recommended something.
> >
> > COSTELLO: You recommended something?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Yes.
> >
> > COSTELLO: For my office?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Yes.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Office.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Yes, for my office.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Office for Windows.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I already have an office and it already has
> > windows! Let's say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to
> > type a proposal. What do I need?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Word.
> >
> > COSTELLO: If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots
> > of words. But what program do I load?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Word.
> >
> > COSTELLO: What word?
> >
> > ABBOTT: The Word in Office.
> >
> > COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
> >
> > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Which word in "office for windows?"
> >
> > ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I'm going to click your big W if you don't give me
> > a straight answer. Let's forget about words for a minute.
> > What do I need if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?
> >
> > ABBOTT: RealOne.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch
> > is none of your business. But what do I need to watch it?
> >
> > ABBOTT: RealOne.
> >
> > COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels
> > two,three and four. Can I watch reel four?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Of course.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Great! With what?
> >
> > ABBOTT: RealOne.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to
> > watch a movie. What do I do?
> >
> > ABBOTT: You click the blue 1.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
> >
> > ABBOTT: The blue 1.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The blue W is Word.
> >
> > COSTELLO: What word?
> >
> > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> >
> > COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"
> >
> > ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
> >
> > COSTELLO: It is?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other
> > Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words.
> >
> > COSTELLO: And that word is the real one?
> >
> > ABBOTT: No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne
> > isn't even part of Office.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Never mind; I don't want to get started with that
> > again. But I also need something for bank accounts, loans,
> > and so on. What do you have to help me track my money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: No, not really. It comes bundled with your computer.
> >
> > COSTELLO: What comes bundled with my computer?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Money comes bundled with my computer?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Exactly. No extra charge.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer at no
> > extra charge? How much money do I get?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Just one copy.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?
> >
> > ABBOTT: No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Microsoft can license you to make money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Why not? They own it.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money,
> > but I'll still need to track it. Do you have anything for
> > managing your money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Well, what do you sell in its place?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: You sell money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get
> > it for free.
> >
> > COSTELLO: That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a
> > business. Do you have any software for, you know, accounting?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Simply Accounting.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
> >
> > ABBOTT: If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
> >
> > COSTELLO: M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Mind Your Own Business.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I beg your pardon?
> >
> > ABBOTT: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home
> > business. You know-- accounting? You do it with money.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you
> > may need more.
> >
> > COSTELLO: More money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: More than Money. Money can't do everything.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about
> > money for the moment. I'm worried that my computer
> > might...what's the word? Crash. And if my
> > computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?
> >
> > ABBOTT: GoBack.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Okay. I'm worried about my computer smashing and I
> > need something to restore my data. What do you recommend?
> >
> > ABBOTT: GoBack.
> >
> > COSTELLO: How many times do I have to repeat myself?
> >
> > ABBOTT: I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said
> > was GoBack.
> >
> > COSTELLO: How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere?
> > Okay, I'll go back. What do I need to write a proposal?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Word.
> >
> > COSTELLO: But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.
> >
> > ABBOTT: No, you only need one Word - the Word in Office for Windows.
> >
> > COSTELLO: But there's three words in...Oh, never mind.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Hello? Hello?
> > Customers! Why do they always hang up on me? Oh, well.
> > Ultimate SuperDuper
> > Computer Store. Can I help you?
> > Here is a modern day "Who's at the computer?" in their style:
> >
> > ABBOTT: Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. Can I help you?
> >
> > COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den,
> > and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Mac?
> >
> > COSTELLO: No, the name is Bud.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Your computer?
> >
> > COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Mac?
> >
> > COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Bud.
> >
> > ABBOTT: What about Windows?
> >
> > COSTELLO: Why? Does it get stuffy?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
> >
> > COSTELLO: I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Software that runs on Windows?
> >
> > COSTELLO: No, on the computer! I need something I can use to
> > write proposals track expenses. You know, run a business.
> > What have you got?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Office.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
> >
> > ABBOTT: I just did.
> >
> > COSTELLO: You just did what?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Recommended something.
> >
> > COSTELLO: You recommended something?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Yes.
> >
> > COSTELLO: For my office?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Yes.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Office.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Yes, for my office.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Office for Windows.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I already have an office and it already has
> > windows! Let's say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to
> > type a proposal. What do I need?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Word.
> >
> > COSTELLO: If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots
> > of words. But what program do I load?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Word.
> >
> > COSTELLO: What word?
> >
> > ABBOTT: The Word in Office.
> >
> > COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
> >
> > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Which word in "office for windows?"
> >
> > ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I'm going to click your big W if you don't give me
> > a straight answer. Let's forget about words for a minute.
> > What do I need if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?
> >
> > ABBOTT: RealOne.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch
> > is none of your business. But what do I need to watch it?
> >
> > ABBOTT: RealOne.
> >
> > COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels
> > two,three and four. Can I watch reel four?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Of course.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Great! With what?
> >
> > ABBOTT: RealOne.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to
> > watch a movie. What do I do?
> >
> > ABBOTT: You click the blue 1.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
> >
> > ABBOTT: The blue 1.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The blue W is Word.
> >
> > COSTELLO: What word?
> >
> > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> >
> > COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"
> >
> > ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
> >
> > COSTELLO: It is?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other
> > Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words.
> >
> > COSTELLO: And that word is the real one?
> >
> > ABBOTT: No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne
> > isn't even part of Office.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Never mind; I don't want to get started with that
> > again. But I also need something for bank accounts, loans,
> > and so on. What do you have to help me track my money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: No, not really. It comes bundled with your computer.
> >
> > COSTELLO: What comes bundled with my computer?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Money comes bundled with my computer?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Exactly. No extra charge.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer at no
> > extra charge? How much money do I get?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Just one copy.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?
> >
> > ABBOTT: No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Microsoft can license you to make money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Why not? They own it.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money,
> > but I'll still need to track it. Do you have anything for
> > managing your money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Well, what do you sell in its place?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Money.
> >
> > COSTELLO: You sell money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get
> > it for free.
> >
> > COSTELLO: That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a
> > business. Do you have any software for, you know, accounting?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Simply Accounting.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
> >
> > ABBOTT: If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
> >
> > COSTELLO: M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Mind Your Own Business.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I beg your pardon?
> >
> > ABBOTT: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home
> > business. You know-- accounting? You do it with money.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you
> > may need more.
> >
> > COSTELLO: More money?
> >
> > ABBOTT: More than Money. Money can't do everything.
> >
> > COSTELLO: I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about
> > money for the moment. I'm worried that my computer
> > might...what's the word? Crash. And if my
> > computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?
> >
> > ABBOTT: GoBack.
> >
> > COSTELLO: Okay. I'm worried about my computer smashing and I
> > need something to restore my data. What do you recommend?
> >
> > ABBOTT: GoBack.
> >
> > COSTELLO: How many times do I have to repeat myself?
> >
> > ABBOTT: I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said
> > was GoBack.
> >
> > COSTELLO: How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere?
> > Okay, I'll go back. What do I need to write a proposal?
> >
> > ABBOTT: Word.
> >
> > COSTELLO: But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.
> >
> > ABBOTT: No, you only need one Word - the Word in Office for Windows.
> >
> > COSTELLO: But there's three words in...Oh, never mind.
> >
> > ABBOTT: Hello? Hello?
> > Customers! Why do they always hang up on me? Oh, well.
> > Ultimate SuperDuper
> > Computer Store. Can I help you?
I love it!
