My mother told her parents she was pregnant so that she could get married (she wasn't). She did get pregnant shortly after she got married and had a daughter. She got divorced shortly after she gave birth, and depending whose story you believe, she either left my half sister with her mother and went on her merry way, or her mother tricked her and stole her daughter. Either way, my mother didn't speak to her mother or her daughter or supposedly know their whereabouts until my sister was in her 20's with children of her own. They got back in touch - my sister made the phone call to my mother (I was in grade school, so I don't know gory details,) and until the day before my sister came to visit, I never knew she existed. Don't know if my father did or not. They visited us every few years and called back and forth a few times a year. When my mom divorced my father (after being married 30 years), she moved to St Louis, obstensibly to be near my half sister, but after a few years, they pretty much stopped talking.
My half sister came out to visit me a few years ago. She's old enough to be my mother - she filled me in on my mom's history and a little bit about my grandmother, whom I never met, and about growing up with her as a mother. I'll never forget her turning to me and asking "why did Mom want you guys, but didn't want me?" I guess that sort of question never leaves someone who is separated from their birth mother, no matter the circumstances. I will tell you that my brother and sister have no interest in having a relationship with her - she has no other siblings - I don't feel any kind of familial bond, but I know how desperately she wants to be part of the family, so I do my best to remember her and drop her a card or call her from time to time. (Our mother passed about 15 years ago). Hope that addresses whatever question you're not asking.
Anyway, she lives in CO and has become a dear part of the family. She was a lost soul and now has connections to family. It was awkward at first, but has worked out. Her name is Jane, but my hub teases her, and calls her Pita! 
She loves it. I guess what I am trying to say is there is nothing wrong with reaching out, and there is nothing wrong with not reaching out. As I said in another thread tonight. Life is too short. I am a firm believer in everything works out; even if you don't see it in the present. You have to decide what is comfortable for you; you obviously made prior decisions that you thought were right. No easy answers, but I am sure hearing from others helps. Good luck in your decision. Whatever you decide should be the right thing to do for you. Do what your heart tells you to do. 
