rwethereyet
Yeah, okay.
For Potomac Speedway could use some work IMO.
Your heading starts off with "Williams win highlights...". So I start reading your article, and you first mention Barry Williams making a comment about the track surface. I read on down and get to the SLM section.
You first start out with this - "Jamie Lathroum, with his impressive win in the Super Late Model feature, started on the pole of the SLM Feature." So I'm thinking Lathroum won the SLM class. But if you keep reading the article, this is incorrect. So I'm assuming now you meant to say "with the impressive win in the SLM Heat"?
The next thing I had a problem understanding in the SLM section is that you mention some drivers at the beginning, all using their first and last name.
Then you have "On the third lap 9 restart, Williams drove around Lathroum on the inside line...". Lathroum, I knew who you meant because you stated his first name a few sentences earlier. But Williams, you never mention his first name. So at first, I thought it was Barry Williams because you mention his name at the very beginning of the article. But if you keep reading, you then say David Williams wins. When you first mention David Williams in the article, you should mention his first name so readers know who you are referring to.
I highly doubt you are getting paid to write these articles and just do it for fun, but you should still have someone proof your stuff. You are attaching your name to this stuff. There were other things about the article that bothered me. If you are interested in the feedback, PM me and I will let you know some more stuff.
Your heading starts off with "Williams win highlights...". So I start reading your article, and you first mention Barry Williams making a comment about the track surface. I read on down and get to the SLM section.
You first start out with this - "Jamie Lathroum, with his impressive win in the Super Late Model feature, started on the pole of the SLM Feature." So I'm thinking Lathroum won the SLM class. But if you keep reading the article, this is incorrect. So I'm assuming now you meant to say "with the impressive win in the SLM Heat"?
The next thing I had a problem understanding in the SLM section is that you mention some drivers at the beginning, all using their first and last name.
Then you have "On the third lap 9 restart, Williams drove around Lathroum on the inside line...". Lathroum, I knew who you meant because you stated his first name a few sentences earlier. But Williams, you never mention his first name. So at first, I thought it was Barry Williams because you mention his name at the very beginning of the article. But if you keep reading, you then say David Williams wins. When you first mention David Williams in the article, you should mention his first name so readers know who you are referring to.
I highly doubt you are getting paid to write these articles and just do it for fun, but you should still have someone proof your stuff. You are attaching your name to this stuff. There were other things about the article that bothered me. If you are interested in the feedback, PM me and I will let you know some more stuff.
