At what age would you stop helping your adult kid financially?

catlingirl

Member
would you help them if they were across country trying to get home because they lost their job thru no fault of their own?
 

Monello

Awww, jeez
PREMO Member
A lot of factors in play here. Hoping they get another job quickly.

Is this for a plane ticket, uhaul rental or gas/hotel/food to drive Xcountry? How old? How long have they been out of the nest? Are you flush with cash or are you watching your pennies? The fact that you asked leads me to think you are apprehensive. I often think it's good practice to go with your first instinct. I know this is a hard decision to make. Best of luck with this situation.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
Staff member
PREMO Member
Once I turned 18 and was an adult, that was it. I've never asked my Mom for a thing since and was always able to figure it out. That is not the norm, and I have helped my own kids financially into their late 20s. This was a mistake and if I had it to do over again, I'd refuse and make it clear to them that they are expected to take care of their business. Lose your job, find another one - that's what adults do.

But to each their own. You have to make the decision that's comfortable for you.
 

catlingirl

Member
A lot of factors in play here. Hoping they get another job quickly.

Is this for a plane ticket, uhaul rental or gas/hotel/food to drive Xcountry? How old? How long have they been out of the nest? Are you flush with cash or are you watching your pennies? The fact that you asked leads me to think you are apprehensive. I often think it's good practice to go with your first instinct. I know this is a hard decision to make. Best of luck with this situation.
Thank you I don’t mind helping, he’s 23 but his father won’t help at all. So that’s why I was asking opinions. I was thinking maybe up to the age of 24, 25. I know how it feels to not have any money and needing help and not getting it. Thank you.:)
 

luvmygdaughters

Well-Known Member
Depends, is the kid responsible, how many times have you had to bail him/her out, did they pay you back, all or partial, do they have children? I have helped my oldest daughter a few times, she was married to a S.O.B who was less than reliable when it came to child support.
 

Gilligan

#*! boat!
PREMO Member
Very situation/context dependent...I've helped out my grown kids financially a few times over the years (in their 30s even) when the situation called for it. They've never "abused" the knowledge that I'd always be there in pinch and never took it for granted.
 

Toxick

Splat
At what age would you stop helping your adult kid financially?


18.

In fact, I've been keeping receipts, and I expect them to pay me back for their childhood.

So far, my oldest owes me $424,405.07












In all seriousness, I'll help them when they're 50 if they need it, and I'm still alive. I hope they're successful and independent enough that they won't need it - but I won't stop being their father, and fathers are there to make sure things are alright.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
Staff member
PREMO Member
In all seriousness, I'll help them when they're 50 if they need it, and I'm still alive. I hope they're successful and independent enough that they won't need it - but I won't stop being their father, and fathers are there to make sure things are alright.
For discussion's sake, what happens after you die? Or when they're the parent? Who will make sure things are alright then?
 

Toxick

Splat
For discussion's sake, what happens after you die? Or when they're the parent? Who will make sure things are alright then?


I'm pretty sure that I raised them with enough wits to fend for themselves. Even still, I'm not going to tell them to **** off if they run into a snag as an adult, or if they need help, and I'm capable of providing it.

If I'm dead - well, I guess they'll have to figure something else out.




And if they're the parent - then it's their job to make sure things are alright for their kids, and they better damn well do it.
 

Homer J

Power Chord
My soon to be 27 year old son recently came back home after four years in the USMC. I was more than happy to give him a roof over his head and food on the table until he got on his feet. In turn, he cleaned the house every two weeks, mowed the lawn, and made the trash runs, all while job hunting and still making his car payment and insurance payments. He is now gainfully employed and moved out of the house last weekend. He also still comes and mows the lawn and makes the trash run.

I would do it again.
 

catlingirl

Member
Depends, is the kid responsible, how many times have you had to bail him/her out, did they pay you back, all or partial, do they have children? I have helped my oldest daughter a few times, she was married to a S.O.B who was less than reliable when it came to child support.
This is his first time asking for any help. His father finally decided to help out, so that's good also. No kids at the time
 

black dog

Free America
PREMO Member
would you help them if they were across country trying to get home because they lost their job thru no fault of their own?
I thought that was a parents job.
Like Homer posted above, my son has had a job since he was 14. When his enlistment is done and he wants to move back here, his room is just like he left it a year ago when he left for basic.
 

littlelady

God bless the USA
I will help. Can’t take it with you. Money is not important in life. I want to die knowing I did all I could for my children. That was the whole point of having children. I will not write them off. I/we gave birth to them. They are the future. And, don’t forget the love factor. If you abandon your child, you should never have been a parent. My parents helped me. That was later in my life when things fell apart with the father of my children; he abandoned me, and the children; they were 3 and 5. Now, they are 30 and 32, and I am remarried for 20 years to the greatest man, ever. My parents helped me restart. They are gone, now, but I thank them every.single.day.
 
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catlingirl

Member
I will help. Can’t take it with you. Money is not important in life. I want to die knowing I did all I could for my children. That was the whole point of having children. I will not write them off. I/we gave birth to them. They are the future. And, don’t forget the love factor. If you abandon your child, you should never have been a parent. My parents helped me. That was later in my life when things fell apart with the father of my children; he abandoned me, and the children; they were 3 and 5. Now, they are 30 and 32, and I am remarried for 20 years to the greatest man, ever. My parents helped me restart. They are gone, now, but I thank them every.single.day.
Oh I will keep helping them if I’m able to. I know how it feels to need help financially and not getting it.
 
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