bcp
In My Opinion
Throughout the years much conversation time has been consumed with the topic of flatulence and the male of our society.
It has been noticed that for some reason the male with the strongest bouquet often is coupled with some of the finer women.
Why is this?
Cultural engineer and historian Marcus Spuddle first noticed this phenomenon back in the early 1900s. For many years Marcus in search of the answer spent hours upon hours at BBQs and bars meeting people and judging the aroma that was left behind.
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fficeffice" /><o></o>
The search brought Marcus deep into the African tundra where he had discovered the Mugumba tribe still living in much the same way that they did thousands of years prior.
One of the things that Marcus discovered was the odd way that the tribal leaders would use to protect the tribe from attack from other tribes and wild animals.
He also noticed that the higher up the chain in the tribe, the more pleasing the mate was for each individual studied.
<o></o>
The protection method at first was hard to understand, but with great resolve, Marcus over the period of two decades was able to break down the simplicity of the whole process.
<o></o>
What was first noticed was that when danger was approaching, the tribal leaders would gather all of the tribe in a series of circles. Each circle consisted of a tribal family.
The women and children would sit in the center of the circle, while the male warrior would run around them at a high rate of speed screaming.
During this, the tribal leader would run around the entire group of circles doing the same thing.
When the attackers, or wild animals would rush to the group, the would get as far as the circle then stop, turn back and run screaming as if they had been injured painfully.
<o></o>
What was it about this circle that caused this reaction? Such a simple looking defense but something was missing. Why wouldn’t the attackers just run behind the leader and on to the inner circles?
<o></o>
With new technology Marcus set up monitors around the circle areas and released lions right outside of the tribal village. When the lions approached, the circles were formed and the running began. Although the lions were sent running in the other direction, the equipment finally brought forward the answer that was burning in the minds of the scientific community for years.
<o></o>
Marcus had made his way into the journals of scientific excellence with only one experiment.
<o></o>
As it turns out, when the danger was near the circles would be formed, as the warriors ran around in their circles they were releasing a steady stream of flatulence that created a strong gas barrier that not even the strongest enemy could penetrate.
As all things in nature, the tribal hierarchy was set up so that the warrior with the strongest release was chief, and as the ability to ward off danger diminished with a lesser bouquet, so did the place in the tribe.
Just as with hunting tribes were the most desirable male was the one that could produce the greatest chance of survival, this tribe was no different; the male with the strongest flatulence also was blessed with the best women of the tribe.
<o></o>
Yet, the question still remained, could this same human instinct still be in action today in the civilized world without our even knowing it?
<o></o>
Marcus had to find out.
The flatulence from the chief was collected into various containers and brought back to the United States for further study. Marcus went into bars and nightclubs and released the gas around him while talking to the most beautiful women around.
At first they would give him looks of disgust and leave quickly. But as the night went on, he discovered that they would return time and time again to talk to him. Each time he would release more of the essence into the air.
What happened next surprised even Marcus because in all of his life he never expected to have women of this caliber interested in him. Even with the disfiguration of his face that was caused by a lightning strike in his early years, Marcus found himself leaving with not one, but 23 of the most desirable women in the bar.
<o></o>
Over the next two years Marcus repeated this experiment night after night and each time the results were the same. The strongest flatulence would gain the approval of the best women. Even though they in their own mind did not appreciate the odor, they were unable to control their primitive desire to mate with the dominant male.
<o></o>
Soon after, Marcus passed on due to exhaustion from his experiment, yet he left behind a trail of information that would re shape the partnerships of marriage, as we know it today.
<o></o>
The studies at work for the average male.
<o></o>
It’s obvious that for the average male to practice this in public is a dangerous thing. One is hoping that their bouquet will be the strongest and they will win, but we really can’t know for sure how that will turn out.
<o></o>
In our bedrooms with our wives however we can solidify the bond of marriage by using the technique discovered by Marcus years ago.
Method one.
When in bed and the wife is sleeping on her back, the covers over her body held tight to her by her arms on top of the covers at her side, You, the male can hold the cover tight to you and produce your own brand of flatulence. After your release under the covers, kick your feet into the air then let the cover fall back to the bed.
What happens is that when you kick the cover up the air rushes in through the only available opening that there is, the space between her breasts. The air mixes with your bouquet then is forced back out the opening between her breasts and directly into her nose.
<o></o>
Method two
(Used with caution)
Take a length of fish tank air tube and put just a small amount of warm water into the tube.
Lay on your side with your buttocks against her as if you are spooning and place the tube from your mouth, to between your butt cheeks aiming directly at your loved one.
As you release your gas loudly, blow into the tube, the warm water will spray her and she will think that an accident has occurred. Although she may be initially angered and break the lamp over your head, her subconscious will let her know that you care so much for her that you want her scented wherever she goes.
<o></o>
I thank you for taking the time to read this, and I pray that you enjoy a long and lasting marriage.
It has been noticed that for some reason the male with the strongest bouquet often is coupled with some of the finer women.
Why is this?
Cultural engineer and historian Marcus Spuddle first noticed this phenomenon back in the early 1900s. For many years Marcus in search of the answer spent hours upon hours at BBQs and bars meeting people and judging the aroma that was left behind.
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
fficeffice" /><o></o>The search brought Marcus deep into the African tundra where he had discovered the Mugumba tribe still living in much the same way that they did thousands of years prior.
One of the things that Marcus discovered was the odd way that the tribal leaders would use to protect the tribe from attack from other tribes and wild animals.
He also noticed that the higher up the chain in the tribe, the more pleasing the mate was for each individual studied.
<o
></o>The protection method at first was hard to understand, but with great resolve, Marcus over the period of two decades was able to break down the simplicity of the whole process.
<o
></o>What was first noticed was that when danger was approaching, the tribal leaders would gather all of the tribe in a series of circles. Each circle consisted of a tribal family.
The women and children would sit in the center of the circle, while the male warrior would run around them at a high rate of speed screaming.
During this, the tribal leader would run around the entire group of circles doing the same thing.
When the attackers, or wild animals would rush to the group, the would get as far as the circle then stop, turn back and run screaming as if they had been injured painfully.
<o
></o>What was it about this circle that caused this reaction? Such a simple looking defense but something was missing. Why wouldn’t the attackers just run behind the leader and on to the inner circles?
<o
></o>With new technology Marcus set up monitors around the circle areas and released lions right outside of the tribal village. When the lions approached, the circles were formed and the running began. Although the lions were sent running in the other direction, the equipment finally brought forward the answer that was burning in the minds of the scientific community for years.
<o
></o>Marcus had made his way into the journals of scientific excellence with only one experiment.
<o
></o>As it turns out, when the danger was near the circles would be formed, as the warriors ran around in their circles they were releasing a steady stream of flatulence that created a strong gas barrier that not even the strongest enemy could penetrate.
As all things in nature, the tribal hierarchy was set up so that the warrior with the strongest release was chief, and as the ability to ward off danger diminished with a lesser bouquet, so did the place in the tribe.
Just as with hunting tribes were the most desirable male was the one that could produce the greatest chance of survival, this tribe was no different; the male with the strongest flatulence also was blessed with the best women of the tribe.
<o
></o>Yet, the question still remained, could this same human instinct still be in action today in the civilized world without our even knowing it?
<o
></o>Marcus had to find out.
The flatulence from the chief was collected into various containers and brought back to the United States for further study. Marcus went into bars and nightclubs and released the gas around him while talking to the most beautiful women around.
At first they would give him looks of disgust and leave quickly. But as the night went on, he discovered that they would return time and time again to talk to him. Each time he would release more of the essence into the air.
What happened next surprised even Marcus because in all of his life he never expected to have women of this caliber interested in him. Even with the disfiguration of his face that was caused by a lightning strike in his early years, Marcus found himself leaving with not one, but 23 of the most desirable women in the bar.
<o
></o>Over the next two years Marcus repeated this experiment night after night and each time the results were the same. The strongest flatulence would gain the approval of the best women. Even though they in their own mind did not appreciate the odor, they were unable to control their primitive desire to mate with the dominant male.
<o
></o>Soon after, Marcus passed on due to exhaustion from his experiment, yet he left behind a trail of information that would re shape the partnerships of marriage, as we know it today.
<o
></o>The studies at work for the average male.
<o
></o>It’s obvious that for the average male to practice this in public is a dangerous thing. One is hoping that their bouquet will be the strongest and they will win, but we really can’t know for sure how that will turn out.
<o
></o>In our bedrooms with our wives however we can solidify the bond of marriage by using the technique discovered by Marcus years ago.
Method one.
When in bed and the wife is sleeping on her back, the covers over her body held tight to her by her arms on top of the covers at her side, You, the male can hold the cover tight to you and produce your own brand of flatulence. After your release under the covers, kick your feet into the air then let the cover fall back to the bed.
What happens is that when you kick the cover up the air rushes in through the only available opening that there is, the space between her breasts. The air mixes with your bouquet then is forced back out the opening between her breasts and directly into her nose.
<o
></o>Method two
(Used with caution)
Take a length of fish tank air tube and put just a small amount of warm water into the tube.
Lay on your side with your buttocks against her as if you are spooning and place the tube from your mouth, to between your butt cheeks aiming directly at your loved one.
As you release your gas loudly, blow into the tube, the warm water will spray her and she will think that an accident has occurred. Although she may be initially angered and break the lamp over your head, her subconscious will let her know that you care so much for her that you want her scented wherever she goes.
<o
></o>I thank you for taking the time to read this, and I pray that you enjoy a long and lasting marriage.
:shakingheadwithdisdain: 
here on the boards for all things <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/1/1_4_127.gif' alt='####' border=0></a>.....
as additional info that may be requested from you.... Say, "If you'd like to learn more on Marcus' methods, please PM me and I'll be happy to share."