BDSM "lifestlye"

[MarieB]

Or as my friend refers to it as "the lifestyle"


One of my very dear friends partakes (is that even the correct term) in " the lifestyle". I just do not get it. It's not just about sex, but rather whats in the head according to her. She is told how she is to dress, what time to go to bed, etc etc. She actually likes this and feels confortable with this even if she "has" to wear a skirt when its 10 degrees because that is what shes supposed to wear.

 

[vraiblonde]

Whatever works.

 

[DoWhat]

Or as my friend refers to it as "the lifestyle"


One of my very dear friends partakes (is that even the correct term) in " the lifestyle". I just do not get it. It's not just about sex, but rather whats in the head according to her. She is told how she is to dress, what time to go to bed, etc etc. She actually likes this and feels confortable with this even if she "has" to wear a skirt when its 10 degrees because that is what shes supposed to wear.

All women should listen like that.

 

[MarieB]

All women should listen like that.

Heh

It's a lot of work from both oartners as i understand, and its not just about one partner listening.

 

[MarieB]

Whatever works.

Oh, i know. She is happier this way

We talk about it sometimes, and she knows i dont get it.

 

[DoWhat]

Oh, i know. She is happier this way

We talk about it sometimes, and she knows i dont get it.

Do they want you to join them?

 

[mamatutu]

Oh, i know. She is happier this way

We talk about it sometimes, and she knows i dont get it.

I don't get it, either. But, the world is diverse, and to each his own.

 

[MarieB]

Do they want you to join them?

Nope

And my friend would laugh at the suggestion, and she would assume that a man asked that question (a man not familiar with the lifestyle)

 

[ZARA]

I don't understand it either but I have attitude and aggression problems along with the fact I do Not like being told what to do. I am just not a submissive person.

 

[Radiant1]

Or as my friend refers to it as "the lifestyle"


One of my very dear friends partakes (is that even the correct term) in " the lifestyle". I just do not get it. It's not just about sex, but rather whats in the head according to her. She is told how she is to dress, what time to go to bed, etc etc. She actually likes this and feels confortable with this even if she "has" to wear a skirt when its 10 degrees because that is what shes supposed to wear.

She's correct. It's not about the sex as much as it is the mind. A BDSM relationship requires A TON of communication and trust (two things lacking in a lot of vanilla relationships), and it's passion on steroids so to speak.

A lot of people think of submissive women in a D/s relationship as weak. That's not the case, it's the opposite. In fact, a large proportion of submissive women are leaders in every other aspect of their lives. In addition, a submissive woman always has a final say which ultimately puts her in control.

Your friend doesn't have to wear the skirt in 10 degree weather, she chooses to in order to please him. Pleasing him pleases her and he in turn will cherish her. A good dominant will incorporate rules for his or her submissive in order for him or her to grow or for their overall well being. For example, your friend may be given a certain bedtime because she is often late for work. Obviously, both parties get something out of it.

Aside from the bondage and/or sadomasochism some couples incorporate into their relationship, D/s is more or less an old fashioned type of relationship except with rules from both parties...A LOT of rules.

BDSM relationships are often complex and are different for every couple involved and certainly not for everybody.

 

[RoseRed]

50 Shades...

 

[MadDogMarine]

50 Shades...

I haven't read this book. I understand it is more for women? Is that true?
Some couples liked reading it together.

 

[Radiant1]

I haven't read this book. I understand it is more for women? Is that true?
Some couples liked reading it together.

I really don't see it as a man's type of reading, but I'm not a man so what the hell do I know? If reading it together leads to communication and discussion, then why not?

 

[drivingdaisy]

50 Shades...

I read this while pregnant and I cried while reading it. I don't think that is the intended response. Pregnancy hormones are crazy.

I guess to each his own, but it would drive me nuts having my husband tell me what to do all the time.. that's my job. And on the flip side my husband would probably say the same thing.

 

[Bay_Kat]

50 Shades...

Still haven't read it, my sister told me about it, now I just have no desire to read it. She did love it though, just doesn't sound like anything I'd want to read about.

 

[ZARA]

Still haven't read it, my sister told me about it, now I just have no desire to read it. She did love it though, just doesn't sound like anything I'd want to read about.

Makes two of us.
I'll stick with my Stephen King, RA Salvatore, Terry Goodkind, etc.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I read this while pregnant and I cried while reading it. I don't think that is the intended response. Pregnancy hormones are crazy.

I guess to each his own, but it would drive me nuts having my husband tell me what to do all the time.. that's my job. And on the flip side my husband would probably say the same thing.

I read it, I wasn't pregnant and I cried. I felt like he was abusing her mentally and physically and it hit home to me for both. Not the sexual parts, just the mental/physical parts. He broke her. He used her love for him to get what he wanted.

 

[Kris10]

Does she drive a white Audi R8 Spyder? {RAWR}

I read this while pregnant and I cried while reading it. I don't think that is the intended response. Pregnancy hormones are crazy.

I guess to each his own, but it would drive me nuts having my husband tell me what to do all the time.. that's my job. And on the flip side my husband would probably say the same thing.

I read it, I wasn't pregnant and I cried. I felt like he was abusing her mentally and physically and it hit home to me for both. Not the sexual parts, just the mental/physical parts. He broke her. He used her love for him to get what he wanted.

This isn't my cup of tea as a lifestyle but I certainly didn't cry reading the trilogy

And as far as him breaking her, she wanted it and they ended up compromising in the end (no pun intended, lol) sooo yeah