Jack Handy: "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink beer, they may be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'Is it better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver?'"
William Butler Yeats: "The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober."
Henny Youngman: "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Stephen Wright: "24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"
Dave Barry: "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dean Martin: "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Anonymous: "Beer: because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine."
William Butler Yeats: "The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober."
Henny Youngman: "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Stephen Wright: "24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"
Dave Barry: "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dean Martin: "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Anonymous: "Beer: because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine."
